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Court and access

(10 Posts)
slimbo Tue 13-Oct-09 21:20:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spero Tue 13-Oct-09 21:25:06

I am not 100% sure contact centres require a referral to court; there are some different types, some run by volunteers, some by social services etc so they might have different rules.

This definitely sounds like you need a contact centre however and I think you are quite right to put the ball in his court.

Your daughter won't know who he is and the worst thing will be for them to start up and relationship and he buggers off again. So he needs to show that he can be consistent and reliable to build up a relationship and then you can consider other venues.

I would try to be polite and firm; this is how it is going to be, if it goes well of course he can build up the contact but he has a lot to prove at the moment to both you and her.

If he does end up making a court application, I think your position is perfectly reasonable.

If you google the national association for contact centres (?) you will find lots of addresses. If you do need a referral, maybe social services could refer without need to go to court?

Mamazonabroomstick Tue 13-Oct-09 21:30:24

contact centres don't require court oprders but they are heavily booked and very sparse. they also often require payment and certainly aren't cheap.
If you are willing for him to see her, once he has arrnaged a contact centre allow say 2-3 hours a fortnight.

once he has proved his commitment you can discuss increasing contact. in teh beginning it will allow them enough time frequently enough to build a relationship without it A) interfering in yoru lives and B) shouldn't cause too many problems re her colostomy bag.

slimbo Tue 13-Oct-09 21:33:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slimbo Tue 13-Oct-09 21:34:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spero Tue 13-Oct-09 21:34:34

Not all contact centres require payment but I agree that all are over subscribed. If you do have to pay it is usually about £40 per session, but it would depend on the centre and whether you were asking for contact to be supervised.

So he needs to get moving in order to set contact up for this year.

slimbo Tue 13-Oct-09 21:39:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slimbo Tue 13-Oct-09 21:53:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spero Tue 13-Oct-09 22:07:28

If he is genuine and sincere, he will do it. It's not for ever, but he has to understand that his daughter is very young and initially won't have much of a clue what is going on. So contact has to be re-established in a safe and positive way.

i think you are doing exactly the right thing and I hope it works out for all of you.

slimbo Tue 13-Oct-09 22:19:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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