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Divorce with no contact with ex

(10 Posts)
chim000 Tue 06-Oct-09 19:30:09

Just after some help with my boyfriend getting his divorce.

He's been seperated for over 3 years with absolutely no contact with the XW in that time. He wants to get the divorce sorted but needs written confirmation from her before he can file for it or has to wait another 2 years.

So how does he go about getting the divorce now without knowing where she is and how to get the agreement from her? Or does he have to sit and wait until the 5 years is up?

We thought you could get a straightforward divorce after 2 years of seperation, didn't realise he would need to get her agreement first.

Also would CAB help with filling in forms? They're straightforward enough except the parts about her as not knowing where she lives and if she has gone back to her maiden name etc.

DLI Tue 06-Oct-09 19:57:35

you will need to find out where she is living before he can issue divorce proceedings as she needs to be served with the papers. Has he asked her family? friends? He has to include her address on the divorce petition otherwise the court won't issue. has he tried finding her on Facebook? He needs to keep a record of all the attempts he has made because even on a 5year divorce petition he still has to prove he has tried his best to find her and will need to provide the court with an affidavit to confirm his attempts.

I think the court will actually help you fill the forms in as well as CAB

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 06-Oct-09 19:59:17

He's going to have to find her whether he does it now (needing her agreement) or waits the two years anyway; she has to know she's being divorced, after all. Has he tried looking for her on Google? Facebook, Friends Reunited etc?

mumoverseas Wed 07-Oct-09 06:08:13

DLI and Oldlady are right. He does need to find her if he wants to get proceedings issued now and on a 2 years separation petition consent is required so she will need to complete the acknowledgement of service form (issued with the divorce petition) and return it to the Court.

In my experience, CAB aren't always that helpful (often no one there with any legal experience) but staff in the County Court can give guidance to completing the forms although they can't give legal advice.

chim000 Wed 07-Oct-09 07:23:16

OK, cool, thanks for your help. We both thought that a two year seperation meant the marriage was null and void and divorce could just be granted on those grounds. He was even told that by the solicitor he had at the time of seperation. Hopefully he didn't pay that solicitor too much!

nooka Wed 07-Oct-09 07:28:17

It just means that you don't have to give a cause (adultery, unreasonable behaviour etc). You should try one of the search companies on the internet for tracing people. They are not very expensive (we used one to find a missing landlord), and can trace most people (provided you have enough info, like name, dob, last known address etc) in a couple of weeks. I can't remember how much it cost, but it wasn't a huge amount.

mumofsatan Wed 07-Oct-09 10:32:34

shock at advice by his solicitor!

starla77 Fri 16-Oct-09 17:00:54

new to this but have been through something similar so thought i would tell you my experience

i started divorce proceedings with my now ex husband 2 years ago and originally had an adress for him but then he moved and i had had no contact with him for the previous 3 years apart from the first year or so when he still came to see the children

my solicitor also prepared divorce proceedings on the grounds of desertion and after i ahd proved that i had tried to find him through facebook friends family etc i had to go to court swear an affadavit and then it would have gone to court

thankfully he got in touch as his sister told him to and its all been done now
the best thing to do is try and get some advice on what grounds you could divorce under and then take it from there

good luck smile

Harimosbroomstick Tue 20-Oct-09 23:27:29


You should start trying to find her now...

2 year separation is with consent.
5 year separation is without consent (but forms still need to be signed)

Where the other party simply isn't available, he may well have to wait 7 years.

Solicitors say alsorts. My Dh's ex ot him to agree to a judicial separation (which his solicitor went a long with, said it was a good idea) even though it meant the worst possible outcome for him and meant he couldn't get a divorce for the full 5 years.

Harimosbroomstick Tue 20-Oct-09 23:28:02

Unfortunately, DH's ex is still very present.... grin

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