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abusive/threatening texts from exp

(3 Posts)
FrostyTheSnowgirl Thu 17-Sep-09 13:07:16

Hi ive posted on lone parents but would like a legal point of view. Long story short my exp asked to take my 2 year old ds on holiday for a week which I said no to because he is too young to be away from me for that length of time. The reason for this is that exp spends no quality time with ds on his overnight stays, he dumps him with his parents and goes out.

When I explained this to him he got very nasty and abusive towards me saying im a bad mother and that he's going to turn very nasty with me if I wont let him go. He says that he will take me to court (which I doubt because he's been locked up lately on numerous occasions, once whilst ds was meant to be in his care). Where do I stand with all of this should I contact my solicitor and get her to send out a legal letter or just wait to see what he does next? Would I be forced to let someone as untrustworthy as him take a young child abroad away from his mother when I know ds will be unsettled and upset the whole time?

worriedstepmum Thu 17-Sep-09 14:39:39


You should make sure you document them properly . You could go to a solicitor and have them send a letter but theres no guarentee that anything will change in fact in may make the situation worse .
surely the key here is the contact issue . Your ex could go for a defined contact order and you could start the very long and arduous process of court .

As he has contact with your DS and its staying contact irrespective of how horrid he is to you he does have rights to build up a relationship and I am not sure from your message whether he is a good dad .

Your son is really young and I feel for you

I would suggest that you try mediation he cant be agressive or anything to you and perhaps by talking this out with a third party you may be able to make headway. As ultimately your are stuck with him being a dad for life . As your ds is so young perhaps you will be able to compromise a build time up so that he can have him for longer periods and proove that he really does care and can look after him

Mediation is brilliant they are trained professionals and its all documented so you can ratify it by solicitors if you need

Please try and stay calm no doubt as your ds gets older there will be more obstacles to climb and the more structured dialogue you have the better .

Good luck

FrostyTheSnowgirl Thu 17-Sep-09 17:01:37

yes i agree that if he himself had him for longer periods of time I could begin to trust him to care for ds properly. As it stands, the fact that we have already been to court and negotiated the access he currently has and he is unable to look after ds for the time he has him now without giving up his social life for 1 night a fortnight, makes me wonder whether his motives are to hurt me, rather than build on his relationship with ds.

The conversation went last night from him asking for a weeks holiday to me being a bad parent and threats of turning nasty and being taken back to court.

All i care about is ds's wellbeing and doing what's best for him. I mean I'd be lying if I said a week off from parenting doesnt appeal to me because I'm bringing this child up alone at the end of the day but I genuinely feel very uneasy at the thought

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