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help re caffcass and defined contact orders

(10 Posts)
worriedstepmum Mon 14-Sep-09 16:03:37


I am totally new to this so please excuse me

Basically I am looking for advice as to what to do regarding my partners ex wife.

My partner has a four year daughter who since the split some 3 years ago he has had good access including overnight contact

At the turn of the year my partner wanted to take his daughter on holiday . His ex was furious and kept messing about with contact .. she sent several emails stating that she wanted to build up contact so that the child could get used to an extended period away from her .. which my partner agreed , unfortunately she kept changing her mind and contact became a major issue

this combined with problems with the childs school led my partner to instigate mediation to which his ex partner willingly engaged with . He followed very strict and detailed contact requirements and his daughter came on holiday

since the holiday the ex has now removed all overnight contact , has issued a legal letter stating my partner must not take the daughter to have her hair cut !!!

He has applied to the court for a defined contact order to put back the agreements at mediation

the ex has sent another legal letter claiming

1) that my partner has threatened to retain his daughter if she did not pick her up from the child paternal grandmother
2) that this child is upset at overnight contact
3) that because he lives 45mins from the child that the amount of time spent travelling does not allow for quality time to be spent with the child
4) that she was bullied at mediation

we have kept all the text messages and emails demonstrating that there was massive contact between my partner and the ex prior to our return from hols. There is no evidence to suggest that the ex ever raised that the child was unhappy

We have all the phone records etc that proove that my partner never threatened to retain the child ,. in fact the opposite is the case the ex suggested this pick up with the paternal grandmother directly and did not involve my partner

I am really worried that the ex is building a case purely on hearsay to imply that my partner has threatend her etc

reading lots of your threads will caffcass / the court look for real evidence to support the exs claim or will they take her at her word

Please can somebody help as to what we should be doing to make sure that my partner does not lose his access ( friday night to Sat evening one long weekend every 8 weeks and holiday

we dont want to discredit the mother in anyway despite all of the lies she is now telling . we just want the relationship between father and daughter put back onto a consistent footing


mrsjammi Mon 14-Sep-09 16:17:28

Message withdrawn

worriedstepmum Mon 14-Sep-09 16:28:29

Thanks for your post

been onto families need fathers that is a great website and you have given me some hope that they might actually see the truth

How does the caffcass thing work loads of scary posts saying they are biased ..

whats the best way to prepare the dad ... he is distraught at the mo and the ex continues to text with wierd statements that have no factual basis

Do they come to the house or do you see them elsewhere ? Can he have someone present like a friend or family member ??

Sorry to batter the questions out just wanted to find other people rather than rely on mega expensive lawyer

mrsjammi Mon 14-Sep-09 16:52:54

Message withdrawn

mrsjammi Mon 14-Sep-09 16:55:23

Message withdrawn

worriedstepmum Mon 14-Sep-09 16:59:46

have done cheers and well aware of the long haul .... grim but surely you have to give it a go ..

MadelineJones22 Thu 13-Oct-11 16:07:39

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

cestlavielife Thu 13-Oct-11 16:12:30

two year old thread!!

GypsyMoth Thu 13-Oct-11 16:17:02

The court will hopefully put back the access from mediation.

Good luck. Cafcass are IMO v good.

giyadas Thu 13-Oct-11 16:19:36

It's the 'children stolen by the state' troll poster again.

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