supervised visits and no resources at caffcass

[silky1985]

hi i do not know if you can help but maybe you are the women to speak to i have a three year old and she hasnt seen her dad in over a year, he has now decided he wants to see her and is taking me to court for access, he lives in wales i live in the west midlands he wants to see her twice and then take her to wales for a week i said no way, he used to take drugs and has symphathy for those parents that kill there children to spite the other parent which is scary caffcass are trying to get to us but apparently they are backlogged also my solicitor has told me that i will not be able to ask for supervised visits as they do not have the resources and this is really scary and i would love some advice from mothers who have been through any of this. thank you

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

It might be worth you talking to Womans Aid about this - they may be able to point you at some better resources local to you. Also, if you qualify for legal aid, then get yourself a solicitor to represent you and DD in court - especially if he's volatile/dangerous.

HTH.

[silky1985]

thank you i never thought of them i have a solicitor and he is the one telling me that he might be able to take her and that there are no resources at caffcass the court case was supposed to be at the end of september and because of them they have postponed it for three months.

[mosschops30]

It is unlikely that any court will allow an absent parent to see a child twice then to take them away from the resident parent for a week.
However you will have to be seen to making reasonable attempts to allow access.
Supervised visits can be supervised by anyone you trust, including yourself if youre comfortable with that. If not maybe his parents, or yours if that works.

Perhaps suggest to him a once a month or fortnightly contact to start with, supervised, at a venue that suits you both (halfway, or take it in turns). This could be backed up by weekly phonecalls to encourage the relationship.

Just suggestions, but as your dd's primary carer you have to do what works for you whilst still being seen to promote reasonable contact

[mumblechum]

Change your solicitor.

Seriously. Cafcass are under resourced, it's true but most contact centres are run by other agencies than cafcass.

As your daughter hasn't seen her dad for over a year and given the problems you've had with him previously, there is no way that the court would allow him to take her away to Wales for a week if you object.

At the directions hearing, your solicitor should have researched local contact centres, ie where they are, how they're run, whether they're supervised or supported (there's a difference), when they're on (usually two Saturdays per month for 4 hours), and whether there is availability.

You should be asking for a direction firstly that Cafcass file a report on contact if not already ordered, and if you are prepared to offer supervised contact, for visits to start whilst Cafcass are doing their report. They do of course need to observe the child with the dad but these observed contacts normally take place at Cafcass offices.

Your solicitor seems to be blurring the roles of Cafcass and contact centres. If you can't get any sense out of your solicitor I'd advise changing. You can get a list of local family law specialists on www.resolution.org.uk

[mumoverseas]

agree with mosschops and mumblechum. sounds like your solicitor isn't a family lawyer so you should change solicitors

[silky1985]

the solicitor i have is from howell and co and says he is a partner, i am waiting to hear from another one to get there advice on the whole thing but i am thinking of changing as soon as possible.All you advice is really useful and thank you, if there is anyone who lives far away from there ex and they have sorted there contacts arrangements out then i would love to hear what you have to say.also my ex lives with his parents he says and i do not want my daughter to have anything to do with them, i know this sounds cruel but the grandmother drugs her other grandchild with sleeping syrup so she doesnt have to look after him all the time and yes i know that is sick but the mother does the same and the child is now the devil so its there own fault but does she have to have contact with them as well

[cestlavielife]

two year old thread !!