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Just separated from dp and need advice re house and money etc.....

(13 Posts)
shatteredmumsrus Tue 18-Aug-09 19:58:05

Help please mnetters!!! The house is in both our names and we have a mortgage. He has left the house and I am now on my own with the 2 children (4 and 8).I only work part time and dont earn alot although I am onto the working tax credits and council tax benefits etc and I have a new job.I will be about to manage - just about. However dp wants some money out of the house, there is only £6K equity but I couldnt even think about getting 3K from somewhere. Any advice????

winnie09 Wed 19-Aug-09 10:40:52

shatteredmumsareus, I don't have an answer I am afraid although I do advise getting some professional advise. You will be entitled to legal aid and CAB is free. I saw that your post was so far unanswered and I wanted to bump this for you as I know how overwhelming things can be when you separate and you've so much going around in your head but you still need to get on with the day to day. I am sure a MNer will be along soon who has something constructive to suggest. Good luck

Sparks Wed 19-Aug-09 11:53:28

Despite what your dp may want - if you don't have the 3k, you can't give it to him. As winnie says, it might be a good idea to get some professional advice. You might try your local CAB.

Apart from anything else, he has a moral responsibility to keep a roof over your children's heads. IMO, if you are just about scraping by, he should be contributing to the mortgage payments, not asking you for money.

puffylovett Wed 19-Aug-09 12:02:10

If his name is on the mortgage, he should keep up his share of the payments as well as contributing towards DC's upkeep. Is he doing that ? It's not clear from your post.

If he is leaving the mortgage payments to you and you wind up defaulting on the loan, it's his credit rating and future mortgageability that will be affected as well.

sad for you

shatteredmumsrus Wed 19-Aug-09 18:33:54

Thanks all, its in the early stages of separation so not much sorted. I cant even bear to talk to him at the mo.He only left Saturday but he hasnt paid the mortgage for 2 months so we are in £900 arrears. Im gonna pay what I can, not sure what he going to offer. In fact he wants to come back and sleep on the settee as he has nowhere to go after this wk. Im dreading that as me and the kids have just settled really. Men!

mumoverseas Wed 19-Aug-09 18:37:29

sorry for your situation.
As puffy has said, as he is on the mortgage he will need to ensure the payments are made every month or he will be credit blacklisted so its in his best interests to carry on paying until you resolve things in the longrun.

As you refer to him as 'DP' assume you are not married which means that it will not be easy for him to force a sale of the property. If you were married and were to divorce he could have easily applied to the Court for an order for sale but as not married it will be a far more costly and lengthy process for him which obviously helps you.
You need to sort out maintenance for the children and if he won't reach a sensible agreement regarding this you may need to make a CSA application.

Good luck

Tillyscoutsmum Wed 19-Aug-09 18:45:18

Like everyone else says - best to get legal advice as soon as possible. Ime, its unlikely he'd be entitled to anything like 50% of any equity - more likely 15-20%.

Get in touch with your mortgagee sooner rather than later to let them know how you intend to clear the arrears. Frankly, unless your "d"p is going to give you enough money to clear the arrears and offer you some comfort about future payments, I'd be inclined to tell him to sod off wrt sleeping on the settee.

shatteredmumsrus Thu 20-Aug-09 20:37:37

He said he needs to come back as he cant stay where he is any longer.booooo! He said he would sleep on the settee, we will see! He has also offered to pay some of the arrears so that is progress. The he said when he leaves he wont be able to afford both the mortgage on our house and on his new place.

Sparks Fri 21-Aug-09 10:00:56

'He said when he leaves he wont be able to afford both the mortgage on our house and on his new place' - in other words he is refusing to ensure there is a roof over his own children's heads.

He's living in dreamland if he thinks he is going to be able to get a mortgage on another place with the existing one in arrears.

He sounds completely financially irresponsible.

puffylovett Fri 21-Aug-09 17:09:52

He wants to have his cake and eat it, doesn't he. hmm

shatteredmumsrus Sun 23-Aug-09 17:43:46

He is looking for a room to rent somewhere.

roxiesdaddy Sun 23-Aug-09 19:59:16

He may be entitled to some of the equity but not 50% and I am told by my solicitor will only be able to have his share when your children leave fulltime education, you get married again or start to cohabit. Please do take legal advise, try C.A.B. they are great and free. Am just going through the same from the fathers side and that is what my solicitor told me, and the equity is much larger.

shatteredmumsrus Sun 23-Aug-09 20:02:33

thx roxie will do

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