Should I just let them carry on stealing?

(192 Posts)
Toytownupthehill Fri 17-Sep-21 07:47:24

My elderly DM has had tens of thousands of pounds stolen from her by my two siblings for entirely different reasons. When I try to intervene I am told it is none of my business, which is true, it still pains me to see someone stripped of everything that she and my DF worked for. I have power of attorney but I can't stop her being robbed. Should I just give up?

OP’s posts: |
Fluffypastelslippers Fri 17-Sep-21 07:48:14

How is this happening?

romdowa Fri 17-Sep-21 07:49:21

Try contacting the police? If you have financial poa then could you not be responsible for misappropriation of funds in some way

Orgasmagorical Fri 17-Sep-21 07:49:31

Is it your DM who is saying it's none of your business?

Is there a paper trail of the theft?

MiniCooperLover Fri 17-Sep-21 07:50:35

When you say robbed, how exactly? Are they withdrawing money with her permission or do they ask and she gives but you disagree?

FrancescaContini Fri 17-Sep-21 07:50:50

It absolutely IS your business! She’s your mother!

MiniCooperLover Fri 17-Sep-21 07:51:05

Withdrawing 'without' her permission that should have said

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bookh Fri 17-Sep-21 07:51:39

Yeah Scotland here but as @romdowa says be careful. If you are aware of it and you are POA you may be responsible.

LaBellina Fri 17-Sep-21 07:52:15

How is this happening ?
I think you should contact the police even if it’s just for advice and based on that you can decide to ‘officially’ report it to them later or not.

Suredsun Fri 17-Sep-21 07:53:08

FrancescaContini

It absolutely IS your business! She’s your mother!

.... and if questions are asked later on, perhaps by the probate office, the finger will point straight to you, given that you hold POA.

ifellintoarabbithole Fri 17-Sep-21 07:54:06

Oh my gosh - you have POA it is literally your responsibility to make sure things like this don't happen!

Toytownupthehill Fri 17-Sep-21 07:54:44

Yes, it is my DM who says that but she relies on me to sort out some of the disasters. Yes, I am definitely concerned that I may be associated with the fraud/theft/criminal activity that they have been involved in - not my DM.

OP’s posts: |
Fluffypastelslippers Fri 17-Sep-21 07:57:56

Toytownupthehill

Yes, it is my DM who says that but she relies on me to sort out some of the disasters. Yes, I am definitely concerned that I may be associated with the fraud/theft/criminal activity that they have been involved in - not my DM.



So, how is this happening hmm

Theunamedcat Fri 17-Sep-21 08:00:06

If its money freely given you cant do a thing unless she is incapable of making decisions

Toytownupthehill Fri 17-Sep-21 08:00:27

ifellintoarabbithole

Oh my gosh - you have POA it is literally your responsibility to make sure things like this don't happen!

That seems like a spectacularly naive comment, I am not a career criminal but unfortunately it's not a totally new idea to me that elderly people are taken advantage of. Also, having POA doesn't literally give you any responsibility.

OP’s posts: |
girlmom21 Fri 17-Sep-21 08:01:06

Why would you possibly allow them to continue stealing?

Beachtrip Fri 17-Sep-21 08:03:10

As someone who had POA for my late father it gives you the right to step in to either act on behalf or protect your mother financially.

If the POA is active then she is not of sound mind and you have the right - and the obligation - to act to protect her.

If she's of sound mind then the POA is not active and it's not your legal obligation to protect her so no you can't step in.

Depends which set of variables is active really.

GinIronic Fri 17-Sep-21 08:05:30

Do you have POA over her bank accounts? How are your siblings getting the money?

Looktotheright Fri 17-Sep-21 08:05:43

Sounds like you don’t know how to take action so get legal advice. If in England
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/managing-affairs-for-someone-else/

ItsDinah Fri 17-Sep-21 08:11:58

Please seek advice from the Office of the Public Guardian in Scotland - telephone -01324 678300. There are things that can be done but it depends on circumstances.

vdbfamily Fri 17-Sep-21 08:14:39

It sounds like OPs mother still has capacity and tells her to butt out, in which case there is little she can do if her mother chooses to give money to her children.

Kitkat151 Fri 17-Sep-21 08:14:58

Does your mother have capacity still to manage her finances?

ItsDinah Fri 17-Sep-21 08:17:39

Posted too soon ... in England ,the English Public Guardian Office can be contacted on Telephone 0300 456 300.

Ughmaybenot Fri 17-Sep-21 08:18:18

Depends on how it’s happening really, particularly as your mother is telling you it’s none of your concern and seems (?) to have capacity.

Toytownupthehill Fri 17-Sep-21 08:20:25

None of the money has been given, it has all been stolen.

OP’s posts: |

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