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Legal matters

Friend has find something really stupid

9 replies

PollyPaintsFlowers · 03/03/2021 18:08

I've name changed for extra anonymity so I don't risk being linked to my friend who I'm posting about as she's not on MN so I'm asking on her behalf.

She's recently escaped a very abusive relationship after years of financial and emotional abuse and coercive control. Her ex is building a case against her making out she is abusive and unstable even though my friend can prove he's run up thousands of pounds of debt in her name, taken her wages which she has no access to and withheld money for all essentials, not to mention hidden cameras all over the house to spy on his stepchildren even in their bedroom with the footage going straight to his phone

She found a file on his computer where he's twisted everything to make out it's her and her children that are abusive and she's unstable. He's trying to get custody of their shared child. She panicked and deleted it. He's now recovered the file she deleted and can prove she was the only one who had the opportunity and motive to do it. They were due in court but he's been granted an adjournment to give him extra time to prepare his case in light of that file being deleted

How badly is it going to go for her in court in light of this? She's already completely beaten down and he's going in all guns blazing

I'm scared to write anymore just in case he should find this and use anything said against her, she thinks he knows about everywhere she goes on the internet, she doesn't use MN so it should be ok but this might come up in a Google search. He's really computer savvy

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PollyPaintsFlowers · 03/03/2021 18:10

Damn it. I'm sorry I proof read the text not the title and I've just spotted the typo. It should say done not find. Apologies for any other errors

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UrsulaBee · 03/03/2021 18:10

Does your friend have a solicitor?

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PollyPaintsFlowers · 03/03/2021 18:20

Yes, she's been granted legal aid due to the dv but her solicitor is a trainee who just keeps asking my friend what she wants to do and offers no guidance at all. At one point my friend had to Google her legal options herself and then go and tell her solicitor what she wanted to do. Everything legal wise up to this point has been an absolute disaster.

She's tried asking for a different solicitor and has been promised a call back about that for over a week and no one has contacted her and nothing has changed

She's terrified, I'm trying to support her but I don't know what to say or do

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prh47bridge · 04/03/2021 00:47

The fact she deleted the file isn't great but it is unlikely to be a major factor in the outcome of the case. Assuming the case is about where their child lives, the courts will look at the child's best interests.

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2019user44 · 04/03/2021 01:47

Ring the law firm. Threaten to complain unless the file is transferred to a more senior member of the team and get some legal advice. If they don’t sort it, complain and change solicitors. Ideally to someone who is a Resolution accredited specialist in domestic abuse.

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RedHelenB · 04/03/2021 08:35

If she's been granted legal aid due to domestic abuse that's in her favour as there must be some evidence of it. It's what's in the children's best interests that counts.

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dontdisturbmenow · 04/03/2021 12:17

Surely it depends what was on the file she deleted. It is was good evidence to support his case, it won't look good indeed.

Also shows that she too clearly had access to his personal files.

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HollowTalk · 04/03/2021 12:25

He is recording his step children in their bedroom? I would call the police out for that.

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Rattysparklebum · 04/03/2021 12:54

My friend was in a similar situation, her ex accused her of being an alcoholic, drug use, sexual abuse and that she was violent where as he was terribly abusive to her. As there was no evidence to his claims the judge asked if he would pay for mum to undergo drug and alcohol testing, ex said he couldn’t afford it.
After nearly a year of court hearings judge has awarded mum full custody, no contact for ex at this time but says he should take a parenting course and come back to court in 2 years if he wants contact.

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