My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

Advice please re neighbour

26 replies

BluePeterVag · 20/02/2021 14:45

My elderly mum lives alone. She has a support bubble with us and we have been to her house (helping her change bed sheets, hoovering etc) and she has been to our house for a change of scenery.
One of her neighbours has reported her 3 times to the Police for breaking lockdown rules. She is not breaking any rules, and each times the police have called to investigate and been apologetic with no action taken.
She cannot know who has reported her, but can she make a harassment complaint to the police against the person who keeps reporting her? It is wasting Police time and causing her unnecessary stress. My Mum has CCTV and is able to prove that it is only me coming and going, very rarely actually, yes the person still reports her. This can’t carry on. Any advice?

OP posts:
Report
Snowymcsnowsony · 20/02/2021 14:47

Stick a notice in her window:
Covid rule follower lives here..
Nosey parkers naff off...

Report
BluePeterVag · 20/02/2021 15:12

Grin I found this on eBay. Very tempted.

Advice please re neighbour
OP posts:
Report
Suzi888 · 20/02/2021 15:15

How awful for your poor mum. Sad No advice I’d feel very tempted to put that poster up though.!

Report
BluePeterVag · 20/02/2021 17:38

Thanks @Suzi888 I am worried about this escalating, as each report it totally without foundation. She lives on her own in a small road with only a few neighbours so it is horrible to think someone is reporting her without there being any reason.

OP posts:
Report
Suzi888 · 20/02/2021 18:47

I’ve had a similar issue myself, I know who it is though. It’s a horrible feeling when you know that someone has it in for you for no reason.
Can the police officers suggest anything or local community officers have a chat with the neighbours... Surely it’s wasting police time.
Do your mum’s other neighbours get reported too. Does your mum have a small suspicion of who this could be... A similar age neighbour who can’t or doesn’t have visitors perhaps... I don’t know if it would be allowed/appropriate but a note through each door explaining the situation.
It’s easy to say just ignore it, but I can imagine how upsetting it is for your DM. I hope she can put it to the back of her mind.

Report
lydia2021 · 20/02/2021 19:02

Its never the person you think it is. Some people have too much time on their hands.

Report
CupboardOfJoy · 20/02/2021 19:43

Ask the police if they can treat it as a hate crime against your mum due to her age.

Report
BluePeterVag · 20/02/2021 20:52

It is unfair not to know who it is who has reported. No idea who it could be. Most of the neighbours are pretty much on waving terms but largely indifferent to one another.
Mum is 80 and partly isn’t bothered but also is having that awful feeling someone doesn’t like her and wants to upset her by reporting.
No other neighbours reported as far as she knows. It’s a small road.

OP posts:
Report
Hercules12 · 20/02/2021 20:55

who on earth reports an 80 year old for seeing their family? No advice op just gobsmacked at whoever is doing this.

Report
itsgettingwierd · 20/02/2021 20:55

I'd speak to the police and ask that now they know if they can tell the person next time it's all been investigated and it's a legal support bubble and if they call again it will be treated as malicious reporting/ harassment?

Report
BlueTimes · 20/02/2021 20:58

I suppose there is a possibility that she has been reported by different people.

I’d go back to the police and ask what they have done to advise the person or persons reporting. If they say they have advised them that your mum isn’t breaking any rules and it’s the same person who has then reported a further two times, I’d discuss harassment with them.

Report
LawnFever · 20/02/2021 20:59

I’d talk to the police and see if they can speak to the person reporting, surely it’s wasting police time to have done this so much and they should tell them to pack it in

Report
alexio · 20/02/2021 21:04

@BluePeterVag type up a small letter to a few neighbours and just say that you're in a support bubble and helping out and to mind their own ducking business Grin

I know there's not much to do the now but who's got so much time on their hands to be watching who's going into neighbours houses and actually phoning the police

Report
BluePeterVag · 21/02/2021 00:18

Thanks everyone. I am going to call the police tomorrow and ask that they feed back to the person or persons that there is nothing to report. There is only me and my household who visit, but it isn’t often, as she mostly prefers to get out the house and see us. Other family hasn’t been at all. The neighbours know I am her daughter. We are all following the rules, but I am livid at this random person who has decided an 80 year old needs a visit from the police.
Hopeful that the Police have also made a note so they don’t come again, but I shall ask about harassment if the mystery person reports it again.

OP posts:
Report
ChateauMargaux · 21/02/2021 17:42

I agree with the advice to write a short note and pop it in the neighbours letter boxes.

Dear neighbour, I am sure it wasn't you and we have put this letter in everyone's door but dear Mum has had the police round three times as someone has reported her for breaking COVID rules. She is in a support bubble with me, her daughter and I am the only person who has visited. She has also come to my house as permitted by the support bubble rules. I know that these times are stressful but I would appreciate you don't make things more difficult for Mrs. Vag that they already are. If you have any doubt, please call me in the first instance. Warmest regards BPVag

Report
longtompot · 21/02/2021 18:02

@ChateauMargaux

I agree with the advice to write a short note and pop it in the neighbours letter boxes.

Dear neighbour, I am sure it wasn't you and we have put this letter in everyone's door but dear Mum has had the police round three times as someone has reported her for breaking COVID rules. She is in a support bubble with me, her daughter and I am the only person who has visited. She has also come to my house as permitted by the support bubble rules. I know that these times are stressful but I would appreciate you don't make things more difficult for Mrs. Vag that they already are. If you have any doubt, please call me in the first instance. Warmest regards BPVag

I would do this. Your mum does not need to feel the police could come round at any time for no reason, and it's a waste of police resources too.
Report
BluePeterVag · 22/02/2021 00:06

That’s a good idea @ChateauMargaux, I will do that this week. Mum is ok today, she is still nervous of the police being called again but she knows she is doing nothing wrong and can prove it. Hopefully the Police will make a note now that this seems to be a waste of their time and resources and will have told the reporter/s to stop wasting their time.

OP posts:
Report
TheChip · 22/02/2021 00:15

Some people are just awful. Definitely call the station and ask if a note can be put on the system. Even offering your number for them to give you a call next time she is reported to find out that it was just you?

I live in a small street with mostly elderly people and it was so sad at the start, seeing that no family members were visiting much. Now it seems almost back to normal and I'm happy when I see relatives cars in the street. How can people be happy with themselves knowing they're trying to deprive your mother of her support?

The posting a note to all neighbours sounds like a good idea too.
I hope your DM is able to relax and doesn't get too stressed about this.

Report
BluePeterVag · 22/02/2021 00:34

Thanks @TheChip and good idea asking them to put a note on to call me.

The worse feeling is the not knowing who it is and why they are doing this, and there might not even be a proper “why” other than sad, bored, or whatever other weird thing they are trying to achieve.

I’m next going to her house on Saturday so I shall be posting a note through then.

OP posts:
Report
SionnachGlic · 22/02/2021 00:43

I agree with the letter idea OP...some people are just curtain twitching busybodies...& ask the police to let the reporter know it is all perfectly legal & stop calling it in or else...

Report
BluePeterVag · 02/03/2021 01:53

Update: I put a letter through all the houses. I also called the local police call centre and registered my concern that this was a pattern of unfounded reporting and the reporter was using the police to unsettle my Mum. Now we have a log number in case they call again. Hopeful that the letter and the log number will mean no more call outs.

OP posts:
Report
junebirthdaygirl · 02/03/2021 02:06

Are you sure it's not someone outside the neighbours? Like could she be telling an acquaintance/ friend or even a sister on the phone how you called and would they be jealous if they have no one? Hope the letter solves the problem but as someone already said it's often the person you least expect. Your poor mom.

Report
BluePeterVag · 02/03/2021 02:17

I’m not sure @junebirthdaygirl; that’s the upsetting thing isn’t it, the worry about who might think a family visiting an elderly widow are breaking the rules enough to call the police on more than one occasion.

OP posts:
Report
thosetalesofunexpected · 02/03/2021 02:48

@BluePeterVag

I am sorry your mother has Arsehole next door neighbour like that op

Report
junebirthdaygirl · 02/03/2021 07:54

Would think it's a jealousy thing. Resent her having a family who care about her. Very intimidating.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.