Bit of a long one but bear with me I really need some advice.
ExH and I split up in 2016 - my decision, hadn't been happy for a while, not resolvable. He had his head in the clouds and thought everything was fine so was obviously gutted and things were a bit raw and difficult for a few months but he quickly met someone else and all it all calmed down and we've been very amicable for the kids since then
At the time our children were 3 and 6ish (now 8 and 11)
As part of our divorce, he agreed to allow me to remain in the marital home, on the condition that I pay the full mortgage and he still gets 50% of the equity at the point of sale or when I'm in a position to buy him out. Despite paying the mortgage and managing fine by myself, on paper mortgage companies say I can't afford it by myself so his name has stayed on the mortgage meaning he's having to rent as he can't go get a second mortgage (from what I can gather)
It was agreed that he can request to be taken off the mortgage/ paid out upon any of the following events; someone else moving in here for more than a year, me re-marrying or our youngest child turning 18
I should add here that we had a joint holiday home by the coast which we shared with his sister (no mortgage - his Dad purchased it as an early inheritance gift sort of thing) which he kept as I felt it was unfair to push for anything out of this as it really was intended for him and his sister and he pays no CM as we have the kids 60/40 (me 60, him 40) and in his eyes he pays an equal share of their keep this way.
I pay for all childcare despite it falling on the days he's meant to have the children. I don't need childcare on my days as I work from home. I also can't remember the last time he contributed to any of the children's extra curricular activities or winter coats/ shoes etc
In his eyes all the above is "fair" because he has to pay rent which is dead money and there's no return on it, but I've got the house ... and yes, I agreed to it and I'm just quietly getting on with things.
Anyway, when we first split he was renting a lovely 3 bedroom detached house about 5 minutes away which his Mum owns outright. It was secure and a home for life if he'd so wished. He met someone who already has 3 children and they decided to get somewhere together so are now in a rented 5 bedroom house. Obviously, the rental costs for him have increased massively.
I have since met someone (been together about 3 years) and during the events of last year he ended up unofficially moving in due to lockdown and we've only very recently made it official.
He has a mortgage on a property that his parents live in and cover the mortgage costs on but he doesn't make any profit from it. He also has some debts that he's working hard to clear from before we met. We had said to my ex-H last year that we'd be hopefully in a position to buy him out in 24 months as my current partner really needs to clear his debts before looking at putting his current mortgage onto a buy to let. Ex-H seemed ok with this but has now had a text from his landlady saying she wants to sell his current house and he's now pushing for us to get him off the mortgage using the fact that he knows my partner has been staying here.
I want him off the mortgage, and we're doing everything we can to make it happen but realistically we're looking at 18-24 months. He's saying he can't wait that long.
I have said to him that my partner can just move back out and then he'll have to just wait til our youngest turns 18 if it comes to it, but he just keeps threatening to take me to court....
HELP!!!!
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Ex-partner - can he force this?
32 replies
celerysticks · 12/02/2021 09:47
OP posts:
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