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Biological father, dna, birth certificate, rights

(17 Posts)
cooper2326 Mon 08-Feb-21 20:54:39

As with most split couples with child/children there are issues, and mine is very complicated. I don't mind explaining more details if needed to understand, but for a first post would be too much to read.
I will explain slightly.

When we got together, I already had 2 daughters from a previous relationship and I didn't want anymore children, I was protected, but after having my 5 year coil removed I fell pregnant (apparently sperm can stay alive and active for 7 days after intercourse), I had a miscarriage, but because I had gotten used to the idea of being pregnant and having a baby.
We tried for 2 years with no luck, I went on a rare night out, had 2 drinks and have no recollection of that night, nothing, at all, making me think my drink may of been spiked. 10 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. After 7 weeks of swaying, I decided to keep the baby, never telling a single soul about that night.
6 years on and I've now told him about that night (again due to issues) so....

He is on the birth certificate, has believed he is the biological father, had contact with her for 6 years (including the 3 years we haven't been together), if a dna test says he isn't her biological father what rights does he have?

Again please take into account that there are issues and complications, as well as the fact that if he isn't the biological father, then that means that one night something happened to me which shouldn't happen to anyone.

OP’s posts: |
AuntieStella Tue 09-Feb-21 12:00:25

It's your DD who has rights. She believes this man is her father and he has acted in that role for her whole life. Would it be in her interests to lose her father?

She will need to be told at some point he is not biologically connected (if indeed that is the case, which of course it might not be), but biology is not the totality of parenthood.

What does he want to happen?

Theunamedcat Tue 09-Feb-21 12:06:02

Is he a good dad?

I would dna test because it would kill me not knowing

Trumplosttheelection Tue 09-Feb-21 12:13:08

Ummm was there anything to suggest you were attacked? Other than you can't remember it? Any physical effects? If you were trying fir a baby then the overwhelmingly likely outcome is you ex is the father. Tbh not really sure why you told him? Unless you want to exclude him from her life which is a pretty drastic thing to do to the kid!

Jsnn Tue 09-Feb-21 12:21:02

So much missing from OP. Why would you think you had sex or were assaulted? Was it just because you didn't remember? Were you there alone? Did your friends tell you that you went home with someone? Were you out on a date and just conveniently left that out of the OP?

You've given absolutely 0 indication in the OP that it could be anyone other than your father.

Jsnn Tue 09-Feb-21 12:26:10

Sorry meant to say partner*

Thedramasummer Tue 09-Feb-21 12:29:55

I think if a DNA test proves he’s not the father he has 0 rights. ( presuming you are in the Uk).

Is he wanting to cut all ties if he isn’t biological father?

Muskox Tue 09-Feb-21 12:31:49

If he's not her dad then I don't think he would have any rights to see her. But you may decide between you that it is in DD's best interests if he does. Agree with others - surely it's more likely that he is the dad?

picklemewalnuts Tue 09-Feb-21 13:56:06

I think I would need to know.

Can I suggest you repost on the legal boards? You may get advice more tailored to the parental rights situation.

I'd suggest rewording it 'if a man's name is on the birth certificate, he believes the child is his, but discovers 6 years later they are not, does he have any rights of access to the child if the couple split up?'

That leaves out the information about the DC's conception, but still has pertinent information.

thanks this sounds hard.

picklemewalnuts Tue 09-Feb-21 13:56:26

Doh. It is in legal. Sorry, OP.

gratitutesmynewgratitute Tue 09-Feb-21 21:21:14

Are you hoping he's not the father? And asking if you can have him removed from a UK birth certificate? Then yes if the DNA proves he's is not the father you can get a correction. Look on .gov if you are UK.

MandalaYogaTapestry Tue 09-Feb-21 21:24:52

Does your ex know that he might not be the father? I didn't quite understand it from the OP

KatySun Tue 09-Feb-21 21:31:33

This sounds very difficult. Did you ever have counselling or speak to anyone about the night where you think something may have happened?

The vast likelihood seems to me that the man you were TTC with is her father, but unresolved issues from that night are making you doubt it.

If you do seek a DNA test, I would make sure that you have some real life support and counselling, and it sounds like this would be a good idea anyway to process that you have these concerns.

Unsure874 Fri 12-Feb-21 09:19:16

To my knowledge if your ex has been an active father in her life for the past 3 out of 5 years then he can take you to court for contact and pr regardless of whether he’s biologically the father. I think it’s a case by case basis though!

MarieG10 Fri 12-Feb-21 10:16:50

"I think if a DNA test proves he’s not the father he has 0 rights. ( presuming you are in the Uk)."

This is the danger of asking for legal advice on a forum. Few contributors are legally trained and can only give their view which is more often than not totally incorrect, as in this case. He is on the birth certificate and has been the father for 6 years. That doesn't suddenly remove any rights. What's best for the child will;3 a determining factor.

Madzhouse Mon 15-Feb-21 08:32:09

I have first hand experience of this.

* If a DNA test says he is not the biological father then you can get a declaration of parentage and remove him from the birth certificate.
* Removing him from the birth certificate then removes his automatic PR (given for being on the birth certificate). He is no longer entitled to school info / doctors info etc
* If he goes to court it is highly likely that he will be awarded contact. He would need the permission of the court to apply first (as he doesn't have PR due to being taken off the BC) but he'd get it. Assuming he's not a dangerous criminal and would be given contact with a biological child, the length if time he has been the child's father, the fact the child identifies him as the father will mean its viewed as in child's interest to have contact.

Collaborate Mon 15-Feb-21 09:41:32

Madzhouse

I have first hand experience of this.

* If a DNA test says he is not the biological father then you can get a declaration of parentage and remove him from the birth certificate.
* Removing him from the birth certificate then removes his automatic PR (given for being on the birth certificate). He is no longer entitled to school info / doctors info etc
* If he goes to court it is highly likely that he will be awarded contact. He would need the permission of the court to apply first (as he doesn't have PR due to being taken off the BC) but he'd get it. Assuming he's not a dangerous criminal and would be given contact with a biological child, the length if time he has been the child's father, the fact the child identifies him as the father will mean its viewed as in child's interest to have contact.

This is correct save for point 3. As he has lived in the same household as the child for at least 2 years he doesn't need leave to issue his application.

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