Urgent equity help

[LostStars39]

Hi all,
I’m an absolute mess at the moment me and my ex are in the process of splitting (completely out unexpected he ended things with me) basically legally we are tenants in common, however throughout the 3.5 years we’ve had the house I’ve put in substantially more than he has. I worked the equity to be £27k and did a spreadsheet with all the extra money I’ve put in over the years and that my family has gifted us and I’d have to pay him about £2.5k. He’s obviously gone to his solicitor and got advice that everything should be split 50/50 and he said the lowest he’d take is £10k which I feel sick at doing. He’s the one who’s left me and ruined my happy life and now he’s trying to take all the money me and my family have put in while he could never save and would treat himself every month instead.

I realise I’m an absolute idea and am so angry for not protecting my money in the first place, but I genuinely thought we were happy and were going to spend the rest of our lives together (how naive I know) so please be gentle with me as I’m in absolute pieces as it is.
Do I have any rights at all?
Thanks in advance

[LostStars39]

Anyone? I’m in absolute bits at the moment before I can contact a solicitor tomorrow

[Newusernames]

We need more information. Are you married? Whose names are on the deeds?

[Sethy38]

Op use tonight to gather all financial info together in order to make contact with solicitor tomorrow as productive as possible

[LostStars39]

Sorry I should have put that in. No we’re not married, both our names on the deeds, how do I find out for definite if we’re tenants in common and what the split is? (Sorry I feel really useless as I feel like I’m just shutting down and can’t think straight)
I’ve got a spreadsheet detailing all of the contributions we’ve put in and who/where they were from and account numbers they came from etc, do you know roughly how much solicitors charge for a consultation to go through this?

[ComtesseDeSpair]

The likelihood is you are joint tenants and each own equal shares unless you specified otherwise at the time of purchase and set out share values: if you don’t remember doing the latter then you almost certainly aren’t tenants in common.

Legally, he’s entitled to 50%, the law doesn’t take into account who ended a relationship and honestly, whilst £27k might seem like an enormous sum to you, it’s really relatively small in legal stakes and the moment you start getting solicitors involved the fees you’ll end up paying will dwindle your equity to very little. I’d point this out to your ex, implies him to be reasonable, and offer him something more than the £2k you think he’s owed but less than the £10k he thinks he’s owed, and expect to meet somewhere in the middle.

[ComtesseDeSpair]

Typo - that should read ‘implore him to be reasonable.’

[prh47bridge]

How the house is owned (joint tenants or tenants in common) makes no difference. The assumption is that you are each entitled to 50% of the equity unless there is a declaration of trust setting out different shares. In some circumstances it is possible to establish that one party is entitled to more than 50% even when there is no declaration of trust, but it is not easy. You need to consult a solicitor.

[MarieG10]

In additional to what @prh47bridge said about it not being a lot of money in the scheme of things...if you go down the legal route you will be paying circa £300 an hour +VAT for a solicitor so it would rapidly wipe any benefit you got.

Sadly write it off to experience and if you ever buy jointly again then be clear all costs are 50/50

[ThePants999]

Take his £10K offer, and instead of thinking of it as giving him £7,500 more than he's owed, see it as saving yourself £3,500 plus countless thousands more in legal fees.

[maxelly]

One thing you can do to help, before taking legal advice, is dig out your old emails and correspondence from your solicitors when you bought the house - this should clarify whether you are joint beneficial tenants or tenants in common, and if the latter, whether a deed of trust was included/drawn up to reflect what % ownership of the house you each have. If there isn't a deed of trust you basically each own 50% of the house as others have said so unfortunately it's going to be difficult to establish that your partner should get less than 50% of the equity (less costs etc.)...

[NothingIsWrong]

You will easily spend the rest fighting him in legal fees. Sounds like a good price to be rid of the twat

[LostStars39]

Thank you so much for the advice, I haven’t contacted my solicitor yet as I know as soon as I do that’s going to start racking up the costs, I wanted to message him back but his last messsge was so cold and clearly written by a solicitor so I don’t know what to do for the best. My mental health is in pieces and I just can’t cope with this right now

[MarieG10]

How much did he put in compared to you? Could you write to him with the details and could tear offer?

How keen is he compared with you to sell the house...ie is he susceptible to pressure?

Despite all the above, it is probably better for your own mental health to take the hit and move on

[LaceyBetty]

@NothingIsWrong

You will easily spend the rest fighting him in legal fees. Sounds like a good price to be rid of the twat

Sadly, this is very true.

[LostStars39]

Sorry for the late response I’ve had the week from hell!
So altogether I put in about £14k and he put in nearly £4K
Had a mortgage appointment and I can’t afford to borrow another penny so I really don’t know what to do, I’ve got about £11k in savings but am terrified if I use all that up and something goes wrong with the house/car

[SnoozyLou]

It doesn't sound like you have any choice but to sell and try to get something smaller for yourself. I would use the savings if it kept me on the proper ladder. This is the rainy day.

[welshladywhois40]

If I have read properly the dispute is between £4K and £10k?

You will easily spend £6k in legal fees fighting with him.

I subsidised my ex and when my marriage well apart I lost a lot of money to leave and start again. With out going into lots of detail - I am now very happy and rarely ever think about my former life and what might have been.

Though at the time - I was all consumed and as the marriage broke down due to his behaviour I felt he show pay and it was immoral that I ended up nearly bankrupt and homeless at the time.

So if it really is the difference between £4k and £10k - make one counter offer and then agree to settle at £10.

Once it is done and there is some space between the break up and settling the house - you will still be a home owner.

He will be sitting on £10k which isn't going to get him far if he wasn't able to contribute to the mortgage originally.

I am a big believer in karma - you will go onto better things and in time this will look like a blessing

[JanewaysBun]

This happened to my friend. In the end she came to an agreement with the ex as was cheaper than fighting it through the courts.

[SnoozyLou]

Once it is done and there is some space between the break up and settling the house - you will still be a home owner.

OP will need to take out a new mortgage on her own though. He is unlikely to want to stay on the mortgage, financially tied indefinitely. It isn't just a case of paying him off - the property would have to be transferred to her, ie the bank would need to lend her the same amount in just her name, which she's already said they won't. The only other alternative is to get someone else to come on the mortgage with her.

[SnoozyLou]

I would definitely get legal advice but in lieu of that, I wouldn't go straight in offering £10k.

As PP said, I might make a counter offer. I'd want some initial advice from an expert but I wouldn't instruct them to act for me.

[HelloThereMeHearties]

Eventually you'll both get to £5K. Is that a sum you could live with, to be rid of all this?

It must be so hard, but stay strong

[Ithinkim]

What a pig.

Offer him £6k as a final offer and tell him otherwise you'll spend every penny on legal fees and he'll end up with nothing.

[DrFoxtrot]

7.5k extra might sting but it will be a small price to pay to move on. He'll be out of your life forever and you can avoid hefty legal fees.