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trying to get my children back in my care

(27 Posts)
JAZ6 Fri 08-Jan-21 18:03:07

hi all,
looking for some advice
my children were given to my ex (the children's father) through the court over 5 years ago with no evidence of me being a bad mother. provided for them and I was a great mum, their father didn't want to know the children for a year after he walked out on us all.

Its evident that he is failing the children in everyway including education, socially and the social worker states that he is only meeting thier very basic needs, however the social worker does not want the children with me, and i am getting limited contact with my children and the children have asked to live with me but the social worker will not listen to their wishes.

so I have written a report stating where he and the social worker are failing my children and looking to give the report to all parties (social worker and father of the children) hoping to get it in court to try get my children back

is there a solicitor or someone that has experienced this and that could give advice

thanks in advance

OP’s posts: |
notapizzaeater Fri 08-Jan-21 18:47:30

There must be a document somewhere explaining why they suggested this ? Have you found out why so you can address it ?

LIZS Fri 08-Jan-21 18:52:56

If custody of young children was awarded to your ex there is more to this situation than you have said, or should say, here. Complaining about a sw is unlikely to help your cause though, you need to work with them to address the issues which triggered the estrangement. Children may well tell parents what they think they want to hear.

FabbyMagic Fri 08-Jan-21 18:55:04

I think you need to be more honest about what led to the children being removed from your care. There will have been reasons given in court, what were they? Have circumstances changed since then?

VettiyaIruken Fri 08-Jan-21 18:57:26

They weren't actively removed from your care for no reason.
Instead of complaining, what about meeting to discuss their concerns and seeing what would need to happen for at least 50/50 to be accepted?

winterchills Fri 08-Jan-21 18:58:39

Sounds like there is more to this story

BergamotMouse Fri 08-Jan-21 19:02:26

There must be more to this, the court wouldn't remove children from the mother without any reason

I agree with others. You need to address these reasons, don't be defensive. Seek to find out what you can do to bring yourself closer to being awarded custody again.

LST Fri 08-Jan-21 19:03:58

There must be more to it than the sw just not wanting them to live with you. Especially with the father allegedly only meeting their basic needs.

Ohalrightthen Fri 08-Jan-21 19:06:15

I too call bullshit on the idea that the courts took children from their mother on zero evidence.

The social worker doesn't want them with you. Ask why, and when you have the answer, change what needs to be changed. Then give it at least a year, and try again.

In the meantime, ask for supervised visits with your children.

MutteringDarkly Fri 08-Jan-21 19:13:12

This is evidently a complex and sensitive situation. The family rights group give reputable advice and support - give them a google.

NerrSnerr Fri 08-Jan-21 19:18:10

You need to get proper legal advice- anyone on here can pretend they're a solicitor. This sounds like a complex and sensitive situation and I think you need to go down the correct route.

Kittykat93 Fri 08-Jan-21 19:20:18

To get any proper and useful information you need to be honest about what happened op. You're not being truthful

patchworkthedog Fri 08-Jan-21 19:28:11

Did he lie about you OP? I have known some fathers frame the mothers as crazy to get custody. I hope you get your children back

Luzina Fri 08-Jan-21 19:30:06

You need a solicitor really. Can you ask the social worker to give you written reasons why the children cannot live with you, or 50/50 shared custody at least

Getbuzywiththefizzy Fri 08-Jan-21 19:35:12

The authorities don’t always get it right.
My BIL lost custody of his two children. They went to live with their drug addict mother and her 3 other children.
After almost a year of her going out to get her fixes and leaving the children aged between 9 and 2 alone all day long with the oldest two having to steal biscuits from the local corner shop to feed themselves and the others, the authorities realised they had majorly cocked up and awarded the children back to the custody of their fathers.
These things do happen.

Notsure2020 Fri 08-Jan-21 19:38:15

A court is not going to remove children from a good mother to give to another parent for no reason at all.

There's 2 things going on here. You not being able to acknowledge where things went wrong for you and your children. And their fathers inability to also be an adequate parent. Even if he is deemed as not being a good enough parent, it doesn't mean they are going to automatically hand them back to you. You both need to individually address your issues.

BIWI Fri 08-Jan-21 19:40:32

Why were you not allowed to have your children? There must be a reason for this.

justanotherneighinparadise Fri 08-Jan-21 19:40:43

I agree. There has to be a reason they think you aren’t a good alternative.

Starlightstarbright1 Fri 08-Jan-21 19:42:42

I agree with everyone else more to this story.

There is a sw invovled.

I think you need proper legal advice but you need to be completely honest not just the information you want to give online. Which is completely your right but you won't get the right answers here

lunar1 Fri 08-Jan-21 19:46:00

How old are your children now?

MooseBeTimeForSummer Fri 08-Jan-21 19:51:36

Did the children have a Guardian ad litem in the original proceedings? If so, what was their position?

gottastopeatingchocolate Fri 08-Jan-21 19:58:33

Can you say a bit more about the circumstances of the original hearing? Were the grounds for the Child Arrangements explained to you? What is your current contact with your children? Have the SW explained their reasoning behind their opinion that the children should not be placed into your care? Would you be open to a more Shared Care agreement? and would you be prepared to discuss with the Social Worker what changes they would need to see in the family dynamic to make shared care an option in the best interests of the children?

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy Fri 08-Jan-21 20:04:13

I don’t think complaining about the Sw will hell when there are clearly underlying issues that need to be addressed.

gottastopeatingchocolate Fri 08-Jan-21 20:05:21

Also, giving an unsolicited report to all parties suggesting their failings is unlikely to help you get more contact with your children, and more likely to alienate people.

You would need to apply to family court for a variation of the existing Child Arrangements Order, on a C100 form (costs £215 to file the form). But if social services are already involved, they would likely be the ones to review the situation, produce a "Section 7" report and make recommendations to the court relating to your application. So if you don't have them on board, you might want to work on that first.

Bl3ss3dm0m Fri 08-Jan-21 20:47:50

Do you live in the UK OP? Like many others on here, I can't believe that judges in the UK would give any Childrens' Father sole custody without thinking they had a very good reason. However, if you lived in a Muslim country, I would expect the father to get custody.
If you are in the UK can you no longer get legal aid to be able to fight custody issues?

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