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Need some advice regarding kids and bully ex(2 Posts)
My ex and i split 5 years ago it was a messy split we had a mortgage together when we split i had a breakdown and he used that to his advantage to bully me and he took the house, the car and left me and the kids homeless..i moved in with my mum and dad and at the time i was working every weekend so we decided that i had the kids during the week and he has then every weekend. As he has them every weekend he feels that it is his right and if i want to do something with them or my mum and dad want to do something with them at a weekend we have to ask him and most of the time he says no unless i ask months in advance! About a year ago i stopped working weekends so that i could have the kids every other weekend coz i realised i was seeing them after school getting them dinner getting them bathed and into bed i wasnt able to do nice things with them coz by the time school finishes its 3.30 they are tired and hungry and not much open to go anywhere their dad on the other hand was taking them away for weekends, going to theme parks, taking them here there and everywhere! I said to him i will be having the kids everyother weekend from now on so that me and my mum and dad can do nice things with them and sownd quality time with them..well he kicked off big time and that weekend when i went to pick the kids up he didnt open the door and told me he wasnt going to give them back to me..i was distraught his mum and dad came round my house kicking off at me and i was so scared that i gave in and so they still go to his every weekend! What you also need to understand is i suffer with anxiety and depression so this was all too much for me. I am so mellow he doesnt realise how good he has it if its someone birthday on his side and he wants to go see them with the kids and it falls on a weekday i let him..he also has them a week during the holidays i am so lenient. This christmas was the worst i had the kids christmas eve and he wanted them christmas day for dinner he told me i could collect them boxing day at 12. I turned up boxing day at 12 and he wouldnt open the door to me..i sat outside his house all day banging on the door crying until 6.30 when he decided i could have them..i never got a christmas dinner so for some reasom hin doing this to me has made me feel so much stronger and i am ready to take him on im not going to be bullied anymore. I want me children every other weekend and my children want that too they are begging for me to spend that time with them..so basically once i do this he is going to turn really spiteful i reckon he wont give the kids back to me what leg do i have to stand on if this happens? Can i call the police will they help me? I wanted to go to court but apparently it needs to go to mediation first but i reckon its gonna get a whole lot nasty before we even reach the mediation point can anyone give me any advice?
Your situation is similar to mine and I avoided court for years as I was scared. But I think court is the best for you, to draw up an agreement that needs to be abided by. Mediation is needed but my ex didn't bother turning up to it.
You can ask for different scenarios , for eg you can have EOW and replace it with a weekday night or so. Depends how far he lives from you.
My ex is similar in that he has my DC every second weekend but wants all holidays too and my thinking is to share holidays as I too want quality time and not just school, work, homework, dinner, bath and bed.
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