Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Non Molestation /Occupancy Order(2 Posts)
I would like some advice on being granted a Non Molestation /Occupancy order against my husband.
Forgive the long story !!
After 15 years of abuse my husband finally got arrested for assault on me . When I went to Court I fell to pieces and just cried (I had no Solicitor at that time in the early Covid situation and only 3 males in the court room !!!!!) so my husband was aquitted with no restraining order put in place.I then had to apply for the above orders quickly ex-parte . We had an initial phone hearing whereupon my husband said he wants to oppose it .This means a day in Court with him in November !!!
I had submitted my reasons for wanting one after years of mental and physical abuse from him, the children were becoming too involved and aware.He was affecting out lives on a daily basis.
When he wrote his side of the events he put down I was mental and had abused him for years .He even had a medical note from the Nurse in 2017 when he had stents put in his heart (from years of smoking) saying I was abusive !! Prior to this happening I had told him if we could not divorce I would be making notes and seeking professional help- he just got in before I had the chance!.So he has this as his evidence.
I have never mentioned my abuse from my husband to anyone as I was desperately protecting my three girls and he said I would lose them . Whilst I could shield them I tried to cope with my husband . We lived mainly upstairs having picnics on the bed when he flipped ! Or we would go out and come home to a house of darkness with him sitting in front of the TV. (in his statement he wrote he did that to save electric !!)
I have Doctors notes mentioning dv but only 2 mentions in 15 years and notes when I had a burn dressed (no mention of him doing it tho !)
I have a recent Social Services report where all three girls were interviewed and it is very clear that they are scared of him and what he would do to me , how happy,cared for and safe they feel with me .Plus the report said the only concern would be if my husband came back into the home !
I have a Victim Support letter too. I just hope and pray this will be enough to keep him away till next June as my girls and I are beginning to rebuild our lives and although we are very poor (he was the breadwinner and closed bank account when he was removed) we can see a future .
the order was initially put in place in June but I have spent the last 6 months worrying about him coming back !!
He is so convincing and is always believed . He even put on his statement he was hearbroken at not seeing the children(not sure why he hasnt gone through his Solicitor) !!!! and also he only had scraps of food to eat before he was removed !! His statement is the complete reverse of what I wrote and makes him the victim.
I have put the cost of the day in court on my credit card to have my Solicitor as I feel unable to do the day alone !
He also keeps saying he wants his stuff . My Solicitor wrote to him about listing what he wants . But what he really wants is me removed fom what he considers HIS house so he has control. If he was to have stuff from the home it would mean I had more control !!
According to him everything is his!! He will be so mad now. I just feel he is waiting for his day in Court and the Orders get removed (like him being aquitted from his assault charge )and he walks straight back in !! Behind closed door he is a monster !!
I have served him with divorce papers and will await his response as he has ignored any correspondence from my Solicitor so far !!
So finally I will get to the point !! Do I stand a chance of keeping the Orders in place?
Also he refuses to give a home address (to look like he is homeless)
Hi there, I've just been granted a non mol against my ex , I used a solicitor so I'm not sure how different it is but I was told they wanted to hear the worst, the most recent and anything after he was sent a warning letter. And the effect on you, health wise, mental or physical, and on your kids. Not sure if this helps at all. I had to write a statement and listed everything over 8 years but was lucky enough to have a solicitor edit it. Have you tried legal aid? They go on the equity in your home for DV stuff I beleive. I'm still waiting to see if he will be contesting it, it was served without notice so I don't go court of he does contest it. This might not be any help at all, any questions please ask xx
Please login first.