Worried sick - LA financial assessment

[MortyFide]

I don't know if I can explain my predicament without a massive lengthy wall of text, but I'm worried sick thinking I've done something horribly and morally wrong and failed to act in DMs best interests as POA.

I have both types of POA for my DM, who has Alzheimer's - she set them up a year prior to her diagnosis, because she is super-organised. She was first diagnosed in 2017; lived independently and without care until August 2019, when she lost some mobility after a fall and I arranged for carers to help her twice a day, the cost of which was covered by her pension income. I activated the POAs around then so I could help her better with appointments, banking etc.

As well as pension income DM has an unencumbered property and some cash. She generously gifted my DB and I some money just before her diagnosis - I made and kept detailed notes of DMs finances since she first made gifts, and of every transaction involving me since, as a solicitor colleague recommended I start doing this 3 years ago.

On my birthday last year she wanted to give me £5k. I said I couldn't accept it because I had POA, but she said she could do whatever she liked with her own money, and that she could still make her own decisions.

We discussed it at length including the ongoing need for care etc, but eventually I wavered (we had some financial worries and £5k would be welcome). I said she would have to at least give the same to DB, so she suggested he receive the same amount next year on his birthday (which hasn't happened yet). So I accepted. I used it to pay off some debt, and earmarked the rest for house repairs in the spring which is still in my savings.

Two months after that, there was a sudden and significant physical and mental decline and to cut a long story short, DM had to go into permanent care in January.

She has been paying the extortionate fees from her cash funds and her property is on the market, but the cash pot looks like it is going to run dry before the property sells. We are on the list for a financial assessment as the LA may need to help us with a deferred payment while we wait for the property to sell.

I think the £5k gift to me will be disregarded in the assessment and/or I should pay it back - I'll have to find the sum of what I used from somewhere and do exactly that.

But even if I do, I should never have accepted it should I? I can't sleep for thinking I've really fucked up and what if the LA refuses to authorise a deferred payment and takes me to court for failing in my POA duties?

I keep telling myself I'm catastrophising but I'm a very conscientious person and I'm in a state of wild panic that anyone would think otherwise. Can anyone give me some reassurance or guidance as to what to do?

Please be kind, I'm not sure I can take any harsh words even though you can't really make me feel any worse than I do already.

[momoftwo76]

I'm a adult social worker and assure you not to worry, you were gifted £5000 before your mother went into the home and before she needed care and support , it won't be classed as a deprivation. They will want to see the last 3-6 months of bank statements only

[MortyFide]

Thanks @momoftwo76 - even though she was already having "care" or home help visits at the time, and that it was barely 3 months before full time care became a need? It will certainly be in 6 months bank statements.

We didn't expect the decline to be so sharp or sudden, we (including GP and home help) thought she'd be stable for a good year.

[MortyFide]

Also, the last time the LA called me they said rather haughtily "You do know that your mother's care home is the most expensive in the area."

Yes, they were the only ones who had an emergency place as everyone else was full...

[momoftwo76]

You will be fine, don't worry about it

[Dontdisturbmenow]

There are two issues here. The potential deprivation of funds just before needing ft care, and the transfer of money to your own account whilst having POA.

I expect you are more worried about the latter. I have no experience, so won't give any advice or comment, I wouldn't feel like you do in your situation.