Letter to child's guardians

[user1498927651]

It's been suggested that I write a letter of wishes to my child's guardians to include with my will. I'm having trouble finding a template or sample letter online, can anyone direct me to one? I'm just looking to outline my wishes regarding my child's education, contact with extended family, and so on. My child is 13. Thanks!

[BackforGood]

I have asked people if they will be my dcs' guardian should the worst happen to me, and I have also agreed to look after my nephews should anything happen to their parents.
I would never 'write instructions' to the people generous and loving enough to take my dc in. If I didn't trust them to make the best decisions they could, at the time, then I wouldn't be naming them.

I would not be impressed if - in the event that I ever took in my nephews - I found that that commitment came with some kind of instructions list, potentially written years before and, at that point potentially not relevant. I would be very unhappy, and disappointed in the parents that they didn't actually trust me and my decision making abilities.

[LonginesPrime]

Yes, I agree with BackforGood - you choose your potential guardians based on trusting their judgement and having similar values to yourself.

If I felt the need to give instructions on how to raise a child, I'd wonder whether I'd chosen the right potential guardians.

[noodledoodler]

www.mencap.org.uk/sites/default/files/2016-06/Mencap%2527s%20Guide%20to%20Writing%20your%20Letter%20of%20Wishes%20(1).pdf
Does this help OP?

[Mumof1andacat]

It's not really a set of instructions. Perhaps more a letter explaining your hopes for your childs future.

[user1498927651]

It's not really a set of instructions. Perhaps more a letter explaining your hopes for your childs future.
Yes, this is what I meant. I have no idea where 'write instructions' was quoted from, as I did not write that in my post.

I trust my child's guardians completely. They asked me if I had made any arrangements and then offered to take my child should the worst happens. They are not the closest relatives though. In the best interests of my child, I have named them, followed my another family member, before my child's grandparents. My child's grandparents think they know best. I was hoping to outline my wishes more for their benefit, so my chosen guardians can say that that is what I had wanted for the child.

[MulticolourMophead]

So bascially, this letter is to stop your child's grandparents from trying to "take over" your child by insisting that what they want happens. If so, I can understand this.

[JamMakingWannaBe]

I've just done this.

We sat down with DC's Guardians one night and brain stormed what 5 meals I'd like them to teach DCs to cook; what 5 holiday destinations I'd like them to visit; what 5 books we'd like them to read; what 5 films we'd like them to watch; what I would like the inheritance spent on (music, sport lessons etc); that I would like DCs to retain contact with my family; my views on drug use; tattoos; piercings; part-time teenage jobs; if/when to buy them a car; private v state education etc.

If I'm dead I can't control how someone parents my DC but I can let DC know I've thought about them and pass on a wee bit of my likes/dislikes.

[BackforGood]

I have no idea where 'write instructions' was quoted from, as I did not write that in my post.

I'm just looking to outline my wishes regarding my child's education, contact with extended family, and so on.

The words weren't quoted, but inferred from what you wrote in your OP.

[user1498927651]

No, I meant what I wrote, not something different.

[millymollymoomoo]

It’s quite normal to include an expression of wishes and not offensive at all
We included one in ours, things like we very much hope that private education can continue ( we funded) that we hope they are encouraged and supported to maintain strong relationships with grandparents on both sides of family, that sport was important to us and the children and we hoped that would continue etc It’s not a set of instructions at all and naturally we hope it won’t ever be needed!