Court for contact

[Zoemay123]

Posting on here really is a last resort to settle my nerves and hope for some advice or just personal experience, so here goes..
Me and my sons dad broke up when he was 6 weeks old due to him taking drugs, mentally abusing me and completely isolating me from my friends and family, when we broke up he moved back home to his family who live 100 miles away, he came to see my son 3 weeks after we split and sat bragging about the parties he’d been to and the drugs he’d taken, after this he started being aggressive towards me so I cancelled any other contact and said to be in touch with a contact centre where drug testing can be done, it’s been a couple of months now and I had a letter come through for mediation as he wants my son every other weekend at his home (this is a very unsafe place as all people that live there substance abuse, as well as sell drugs from the property and always have questionable characters in the house) it would honestly break me to send my baby to that house as I know he would be in danger and he always threatens to take him even though he isn’t on the birth certificate, I’ve accepted mediation and will attend the MIAM but I honestly can’t see either of us compromising on something and to be honest I’m afraid to even be in the same room as him, it’s become clear now that he isn’t afraid to take it to court so my question here is if anybody has been through anything similar and can please please give me some advice or be able to tell me what happened during court and what the likelihood is of him getting contact (thanks so much for reading if you got this far)

[itsme]

My advice is to get a solicitor i advise you, but I was told that because of DA (physical and mental) that I didnt have to attend mediation as it wouldn't be suitable given the history and we went straight in to court proceedings, we are 4 hearings in and still seem to be getting nowhere.

[Clangus00]

He won’t get contact like that (100 miles away) for a baby so young.
Please seek legal advice.
If he goes to court, a simple DNA test will prove he’s the father and a new birth certificate with him named on it will be issued.

[Doyoumind]

Don't let being scared of going to court mean he can bully you into something that isn't right for your child. No court will grant overnight contact for a young baby and certainly not when he lives so far away so you have nothing to worry about on that front. He will be granted PR and he will almost certainly be granted some kind of contact. Short and regular contact is usually advised for babies, increasing as they get older.

Proving the drug taking etc will be really difficult and the court may or may not pay attention to your claims. Cafcass would make an initial assessment and may recommend a more detailed assessment before making a recommendation to the court.

Go to the MIAM as that shows you are engaging in the process. If you say you don't feel comfortable they may advise against proceeding.

I'm not a solicitor. I have done mediation and court more than once though. I have both used solicitors and self represented. I found I wasted a lot of money on mediation because my ex was never going to be reasonable and actually going to court was more useful even though I thought it was the last thing I wanted.

[BubblesBuddy]

The court can see the results of drugs tests for your ex. Hair tests I think. A solicitor would advise. It’s best to go to court in your case and let a judge decide.