50:50

[Thetirednessisreal]

Hi looking advice I have a DS aged 5 me and his dad are broke up. He sees his dad one night a week overnight l. His dad is a police man so works shifts. I
Am currently pregnant.

Ex is saying he has a new position in his job that will
Allow him
50:50 so is taking me to court for this as I won’t agree.

He wants everything on his terms all the time if I don’t agree he threatens 50:50 but seems very serious this time.

He doesn’t pay the correct maintance as he told me if I made him he’d go 50:50 too (an example of a threat)


Will a court separate my son from his new siblings 50:50?

[FenellaVelour]

What are you actually agreeing to/saying is in your son’s best interests?

[kitk]

I also think you need to consider what you're willing to offer and what's best for you child. I'd feel the same as you do that child needs stability especially with new sibling coming but there's a bit of your post that feels "what's best for me" sorry if I'm wrong and I agree as you're pregnant that you should value yourself and your existing child higher BUT if you don't offer any compromise etc it won't reflect well on you. I'm sorry tho. You don't need this right now

[Collaborate]

What would his shift pattern be?

[ComtesseDeSpair]

Seeing his dad once a week isn’t very much and if ex really has negotiated a new shift pattern which will allow more / longer contact then it’s likely a court would agree it’s in DS’s best interests to spend more time with his dad. That wouldn’t necessarily have to be 50/50, but as others have said above, you need to approach it as what is in your son’s best interests - if you make it all about what you want and what doesn’t work for you, that won’t help. Does DS enjoy the time he spends with his dad? If so, why wouldn’t you want him to have more contact?

[MarieG10]

First thing is him justifying why the arrangements need to change to. 50/50. A point I would make is that knowing a couple of police officers, yes they get new jobs, but they get new jobs all the time as it doesn't work like elsewhere. They get moved according to needs. So basically he might have a job now with no shifts but with a months notice he can be out back on shifts. In addition, he also may be deployed to deal with unforeseen issues so he is probably being a bit premature as going for 50/50 means long term, not just for a couple of years