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I don't think step-mum meant this, but my siblings and I will never see anything of the proceeds from our family home will we?

(46 Posts)
WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 17:50:27

My dad died 15 years ago and left everything to his wife, my step-mum. That included the proceeds from what was our family home as children, since he put that into their new house when he married step-mum. A few years after his death she met someone, moved away to live with him and made a new will. Shortly thereafter she married him. We were still close and I was glad she had found happiness after my dad's death. Sadly, a year after that she mentioned in passing that she was seeing a doctor about some funny aches and pains...and 2 weeks later she was dead. Pancreatic cancer. It was a horribly difficult time.

Anyway, she had said on her death bed that she had left things in trust to us, my dad's 3 children. (She had none of her own.) I thought no more of it tbh, assumed one day something would come our way, perhaps when the husband passed away. However, ten years on and out of curiousity I have just got hold of the will.. and it turns out that she appointed her new husband and his daughter as trustees, left them everything, in trust, but to dispose of when they see fit. So even when step-mum's new husband dies, the daughter will still be a trustee to do what she wants. We are dis-inherited effectively aren't we?? Can anyone advise in case I have got this wrong? Thanks for any comments.

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8by8 Sun 13-Oct-19 18:06:41

I’m sorry but you’re right. The daughter can just use the money as she wants. Your step mum may have verbally asked her to give some of it to you, but it doesn’t sound like she actually made legal provision for that.

annielouise Sun 13-Oct-19 18:10:38

I think you have been, I'm sorry to say. Morally it's wrong but I don't know what you can do about it. Perhaps get an hour's advice from a solicitor to see if it's worth claiming. Neither your dad or step-mum have protected your interests.

Justkeeprollingalong Sun 13-Oct-19 18:12:59

10 years on? You're kidding?

WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 18:13:04

Well I thought as much 8by8. Just don't understand why it was put in trust to us if we can never actually get the money released! I assume when daughter dies it would in theory come our way? Not that any of us would be in touch by then though, shes in her 30s.

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WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 18:15:06

I trusted my step mum and what she had said Justkeeprolling. We were close. I had no need to actually check the will so far as I was aware.

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AutumnCrow Sun 13-Oct-19 18:16:01

What are they the trustees OF?

And what conditions if any are attached?

WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 18:17:09

Sorry Autumn, dont understand the first question?

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LenoVintura Sun 13-Oct-19 18:18:13

Something similar has happened to me and my sister. Our father remarried a woman who came into the marriage with literally nothing more than the clothes she stood up in and an ancient dog. She had two teenage sons at the time, now in their fifties, as are Dsis and me.

Fast forward, our father has died, she has inherited everything and will leave that to her own sons. Worse, our father did well out of the divorce from our mother because she had brought money into their marriage. Our mother is furious that her family's money is now going to end up in the hands of strangers.

Nextphonewontbesamsung Sun 13-Oct-19 18:18:24

How awful for you! Are you in touch with her husband at all?

Nextphonewontbesamsung Sun 13-Oct-19 18:20:03

LenoVintura - without wishing to speak ill of the dead, your father was an arse for not ensuring you were provided for in his will.

I am in a similar situation. It sucks.

WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 18:20:13

Yes still friendly with her husband, he simply say yes, its in trust for you all, and thats it. He has since re-married so can't see that helping either!!

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Floralnomad Sun 13-Oct-19 18:23:16

Take the will to a solicitor and pay for proper advice .

DonnaDarko Sun 13-Oct-19 18:23:20

The definition of a trustee is

A trustee is a person who takes responsibility for managing money or assets that have been set aside in a trust for the benefit of someone else. As a trustee, you must use the money or assets in the trust only for the beneficiary's benefit.

So what exactly has been set aside? And there would be conditions around it which I think you should be aware of if you are actually the beneficiary.

Drabarni Sun 13-Oct-19 18:23:29

If there was any money due to you it would have come after sm death.
There couldn't have been any trust in the will for you and your siblings.

So sorry this is happening to you and yours, it's the same for my dh and lots of first families, it's like the blood relative really didn't give a stuff. Or they are that gullible to believe their new partner will make provision for the children.

It's awful, as if the poor kids from the broken home haven't been through enough, without being disinherited. thanks

WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 18:26:33

Im trying to convert the bloody pdf will into a doc so I can paste some of it here for people to pick over since I just don't do legal speak and may have misconstrued all manner of things!

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666onmyhead Sun 13-Oct-19 18:31:41

Screen shot instead maybe ?

Span1elsRock Sun 13-Oct-19 18:37:04

You were disinherited the moment your Dad left everything to your stepmother.

We've gone through the same with DH's stepfather - his mum left everything to him on the condition that on his death, it went to DH and his sister. But the stepfather remarried and 30 years later, everything has gone to the new wife's DC, even though it was bought and paid for by DH's mum and her divorce settlement from DH's dad. He had nothing but the clothes on his back when he met her...

Leaving your wishes in a will is tantamount to writing it in invisible ink for its legal power.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Sun 13-Oct-19 18:41:59

Yes unfortunately sounds likes you'll never see a penny. When I made a will after marrying DH (only late 20s at the time) my will company rang me back privately without DH and advised, since I was likely to have a lot more assets than him (larger possible inheritance etc) that I should set up a trust and therefore protect assets from this very situation - DH marrying and then his future will leaving everything (consisting of mostly my assets and family inheritance) to someone outside the family who could then leave everything to her family

WillOrWont Sun 13-Oct-19 18:45:13

Ah bloody technology, Ive got a chromebook and pdf conversion is tricky it appears! I cant screenshot because I wanted to edit out names etc. I'll post again when I can actually edit the will! Thanks for the comments, I think we are stuffed tbh, but I may well get some legal advice to check. Amazing (and sad) how common this issue is tho.

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Beansandcoffee Sun 13-Oct-19 19:04:24

Happened to me. My fathers wife even sent me a card to let me know that I and my children will not get anything from my father now or ever. Yet when my father married he told me he had protected the proceeds from our family home and my deceased mothers savings. My children even called my fathers wife Nana and integrated her into the family yet once my father died She doesn’t want to know us.

LenoVintura Sun 13-Oct-19 21:17:54

Nextphone he trusted her to carry out his wishes, which were that my sister and I would get our share. She has chosen not to do that and there's nothing that we can do about it. It's important not to be bitter.

Savingforarainyday Sun 13-Oct-19 21:23:29

So, everyone has to die before you get your inheritance?

Nextphonewontbesamsung Sun 13-Oct-19 21:26:00


I fully understand the importance of not being bitter. I wouldn't say I'm bitter, more outraged!

LenoVintura Sun 13-Oct-19 21:27:42

Ha, me too, Nextphone. I have made that clear to SM wink .

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