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Enforcing order and financial compensation

(16 Posts)
Inapickle80 Mon 07-Oct-19 21:41:56

My ex and I separated 5.5 years ago it’s been an awful break up but he’s now remarried and I have someone new. We had a contact order put in place in 2017. I received court papers on Saturday saying he’s applied for an enforcement order as I keep breaching it (I don’t) and he’s suing me for £3000 for the children not attending his wedding in July 2018!!!! The wedding was abroad, 2 weeks in term time the school wouldn’t authorise it and neither would I. I told him at the time I wouldn’t agree to it but he went on to book everything despite this. His claim for costs even include the kids missed hairstyles on thE day Of the wedding.

I’m seeing a solicitor Thursday but really what’s the chance of this being granted? In terms of breaching the order he is so inflexible. I can prove I offer and go way beyond the terms of our agreement. If he is late or needs to bring home early although I note it I don’t say a word. In anger I’ve said some stupid things like ‘if you do that again you can sod off asking for their passports etc’ or ‘if you do that again you’re not having them’ although it’s crap of me it’s hot air. He left us for his now wife and has embarked on a campaign of hate ever since.

I’m at my wits end.

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Inapickle80 Tue 08-Oct-19 10:10:37


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MrsBertBibby Tue 08-Oct-19 13:59:05

He's a joker isn't he?!

No he won't get compensation for his wedding! There was no agreement or order that they attend.

Assuming his application is dismissed, you can ask the judge to consider making him pay your costs.

What a pillock. Keep your head high, don't lie or exaggerate, admit fault where appropriate as you did above, and you'll be fine.

Inapickle80 Tue 08-Oct-19 14:33:38

Thankyou and yes he is a pillock he is a vile person to me but an absolutely amazing dad I just don’t know why he’s turned in to such a total fanny. I have pages and pages of messages between us offering him extra contact outside of his allocation he sees them every single week without fail aside from when he’s in a golfing competition or off being a douche bag somewhere. He also wants the order to now include him keeping hold of the passports which I certainly won’t agree to. He’s threatened to take them before now and when he did he turned his phone off for a week and wouldn’t allow me contact I spent my summer heartbroken and watching my phone. Another occasion our daughter was hospitalised and he didn’t even tell me until he dropped her home sad poor little mite just wanted her mum. Other times in his extended visits I can prove calling up to 24 times before he answers he is mad!

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MrsBertBibby Tue 08-Oct-19 18:24:08

Amazing dads don't sue the kids' mum for made up amounts, or go out of their way to cause stress and conflict.

Nor does an amazing dad fail to tell the kids' mum about hospital treatment.

He's a shit dad. Really he is.

swingofthings Tue 08-Oct-19 18:51:38

It will come down to the details of the case. I assumed the £3,000 was the costs of the flights and other things that they loss but surely he would have to prove that it was agreed before he booked their flights, otherwise, not sure what his justification is to make that claim.

Inapickle80 Tue 08-Oct-19 20:02:31

I never really thought of his behaviour in that way... he does so much for my children like way above most dads that I guess I’ve just let his behaviour towards me be excusable. My new partner is best friends with his ex wife and his ex wife has become a very good friend of mine they are both testament to how it can and should be.

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ArnoldBee Tue 08-Oct-19 20:08:30

Don't forget that that having unauthorised leave from school is a criminal offence.

MrsBertBibby Tue 08-Oct-19 20:10:49

Well you should. It is a failure of parenting to be incapable of making nice with the other parent.

Serious DA excepted, of course.

carly2803 Wed 09-Oct-19 21:04:45

no advice but heisnot a brilliant dad. at all!!

MarieG10 Thu 10-Oct-19 13:19:19

So he is suing you for not breaking the law, ie taking them out of school unauthorised for two weeks?

Is this real?

Inapickle80 Thu 10-Oct-19 14:02:28

Not only is this real I engaged a solicitor today who is concerned that I’m in breach of the order as I am supposed to share pick ups and drop offs but because he is so vile to me I refuse to. Inadvertently I’ve made myself in breach. I’ve engaged a solicitor if it goes to a full hearing he thinks it could be up to 25 hours @ £250 per hour. I feel absolutely done in. I can’t believe someone is doing this to me. This is so much money to me.

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MrsBertBibby Thu 10-Oct-19 14:43:22

I think your solicitor is being a tad alarmist.

Inapickle80 Thu 10-Oct-19 15:38:05

I’m that paranoid now I don’t know what to think. I can’t believe he’s putting me and our children through it. What is his end goal?

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Doyoumind Thu 10-Oct-19 15:48:27

If he had wanted the children to go to the wedding he could have taken it to court then, couldn't he? What an idiot.

Not a lawyer, just someone who has been to court several times with a totally unreasonable ex but I can't see them doing any more than ask you to start sharing pick ups if you have breached that clause.

If it does go to court and the order is varied, just get it written in that the passports stay at your house (which I presume is the main residence), that both parties should be kept up to date with any medical issues whilst they are in the other parent's care and that phone contact should take place when they are away for more than a few days. If there is anything else he does that's annoying get that in too.

Inapickle80 Thu 10-Oct-19 19:26:56


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