Fraud??

Have you reported to the police?

If you are prepared to prosecute your step son, the bank should pursue it for you.

You should report the theft of the card to the police along with the subsequent fraudulent transactions.
Banks don’t often pay when a relative is involved because it could easily be a conspiracy between you all.

There’s no guarantee of you getting the money back if you report to the police. There is no chance of getting your money back if you don’t though. What’s your husband saying about all this?

It would depend on the bank's findings, but if you have involved the police they can't decline to investigate on the grounds that it's a civil matter, as it will have become a criminal matter.

Is your stepson likely to admit to the police that he has done this ?

Oh my goodness. That is absolutely horrific!

I found this information from Which?:

www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/my-card-has-been-lost-or-stolen-and-used-to-purchase-goods

In theory, your husband should be paying you back the money his son stole from you.

If any of the goods can be returned to the suppliers, I would return them ASAP to recoup the money.

Be wary of returning goods just yet as that will reinforce the civil aspect. If any are recovered you can sell at a later date if need be.

That’s unless the police seize anything first.

Was he in your home using the ISP (internet service provider) of the house, as in the same one you use or was he at another place using the ISP of that place when he did this?

I’m not a legal bod but if the ISP was different, you’d have a better chance.

Do the ‘sorry’ texts directly relate to and include being sorry for stealing your card and buying lots of goods on it?

How old is he? Can any of the purchases be returned? Has your Husband/Stepson offered to pay you back?

Definitely report it to the police, it’s a criminal and not a civil matter. It’s theft.

That's terrible. Why are you and your husband arguing? What can he say in his son's defence?

Is there anything that can be returned?

How old is your son? If he's adult I would definitely call the police.

What sort of things did he buy? Was anything delivered to an address you recognise?

*If you are prepared to prosecute your step son, the bank should pursue it for you.*

^This. You need to prosecute in order for the bank to class it as fraud

What did he buy?

You can’t just write off £4K, learning disabilities or not.

If he has the understanding of a young teenager then he has enough understanding to know that it’s not ok to steal.

Oh OP

If your husband refuses to deal with this properly then it’s tough shit him earning him less than you - it’s still your money that has been stolen!

And gambling?! Interested to know how his dad defends that. If his disability makes him unaware of consequences - as his dad suggests - then there’s no way he should be bloody gambling.

What a nightmare.

Ah ok.

He used the phone you pay for and the same ISP. I’m assuming it’s your name that is registered as the account holder for his phone? If not and it’s his name as the account holder that may assist you.

If you do go to the police about this, I don’t know if and how they will be able to recover the monies for/to you? Clearly your SS doesn’t have £4K to reimburse you with, so the debt would surely be passed onto his parents to pay off assuming he is under 18 years old?

I doubt you will be able to recoup the gambling debts.

I would seriously find all the products/purchases he has in his possession with as much paperwork that is still in his possession and see what can be returned. Tot it all up and see how much you can recoup this way.