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Parental responsibility

(10 Posts)
lavenderlove Sat 23-Mar-19 20:35:35

Hello, has anyone obtained parental responsibility for their husband/step father of their child? And can you tell me about the process?
My child's father is pretty absent. It has been over 6 months now since he last saw or spoke to my child. Although I have been in touch with him numerous times - albeit for disputes about maintenance not being paid. I have started to become concerned that if I die my ex may get custody of my child.
My husband has brought my child up from being 11 months old so I would like to look at getting him PR (as well as me and bio father) to hopefully resolve the issue of custody if the worst happened.

OddBoots Sat 23-Mar-19 20:38:58

Is your child's biological father likely to agree (in which case it is quite simple) or not (when it gets trickier)?

lavenderlove Sat 23-Mar-19 22:25:17

I'm not sure. I think he would question my intentions and why I want to do this, and I don't think he would react well to me saying it would be to prevent him getting custody if I wasn't around. So I would need to explain my reasoning another way really, but not sure how.

lavenderlove Sat 23-Mar-19 22:25:39

Sorry @OddBoots forgot to tag you in my reply. And thanks for your reply

Myusernameismud Sat 23-Mar-19 22:32:02

I would explain to your ex that it's for practical reasons, so your husband can sign permission slips, consent for medical treatment etc. Put the scenario to him that if your dc was unwell and needed hospital treatment, and you werent there (working or for whatever reason) legally your husband can't consent to treatment. In reality, of course the hospital would give life saving treatment whether you were there or not, but it's a good way to appeal to your EXs better nature.

If you're lucky he will say yes. If you're unlucky, like me, he will be a twat and say he's 'not signing the kids over to your latest bit of dick' (referring to my husband of 3 years and partner for many more before that) This is the father who hasn't seen or spoke to his kids for nearly 4 years now. If I push for it, and go to court they'd find he was being a twat and rule in our favour. I think we're going to go for adoption instead. Hard work, but it's the right thing for us.

Marthymoomar Sun 24-Mar-19 07:00:48

If your fathers child has PR you will need his consent, or the court will need to dispense with this. Dispensing with PR is a significant move and if he has had contact (even sporadic) and there is a maintenance agreement in place (even if he isn’t regularly paying), these factors would be taken into consideration.

Adoption is a significant order and the Courts are increasingly scrutinising step parent adoptions to ensure that nothing else will truly do in these cases, as they do with other types of adoption cases.

There are other types of order, other than adoption, that can be applied for which will give your husband PR - it might be worth looking into all alternatives, as that is what the court will be seeking eveidence of when scrutinising the application/annex a assessment/ reporting officer reports that would need to be filed before any adoption order would be granted.

Good luck whatever route you choose.

lavenderlove Sun 24-Mar-19 09:30:22

Thanks @Myusernameismud that is some really good advice. You have just reminded me that my child was really ill recently and my husband was debating taking him to out of hours. I was at work and there's a slim chance I would've been able to leave at that time. He didn't in the end but I didn't even think about how he wouldn't be able to consent to any treatment!
Your ex sounds like a dick! It's funny how they get so offended at the thought of someone else parenting their child, but aren't interested in doing it themselves! I'm sure I read something about it being an easier process if they haven't had contact for 3 years. Good luck with your adoption case x

lavenderlove Sun 24-Mar-19 09:33:45

@Marthymoomar I wouldn't be looking at adoption as I don't think I would have grounds for that. Although I think it's something my child will choose themselves in the future, when they reach the age required to not need consent.
I wouldn't be looking for my ex to lose PR just for my husband to gain it alongside us.

Myusernameismud Sun 24-Mar-19 12:15:52

I think a court can decide that it's in a child's best interests for a step parent to have PR without removing it from the NRP. It's not necessarily an either or situation.

Dramatical Sun 24-Mar-19 12:19:25

I would think very carefully about giving PR to someone else. It isn't necessary. The medical thing, unless your child has complex medical needs it is really not a reason to consider giving PR to anyone.

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