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If you report a rape and the police believe it is a false allegation, would they would tell you they thought that?

(40 Posts)
BobTheDuvet Sat 23-Mar-19 11:22:21

Reported ex for rape and sexual assault. Police took over a year to investigate and then did not take further action due to lack of evidence. Got a letter saying sorry you've been a victim, not enough evidence to proceed etc etc.

Ex has just told me that he was asked by police if he wanted to pursue a charge against me for false allegations and that he is so benevolent that he didn't do this because it would have been bad for the children (this in the middle of a long and horrific rant where he also told me I would burn in the fires of hell unless I seek his forgiveness).

Anyway - my head tells me this is a load of shit, but I'd like the peace of mind of confirmation that his version does not match the polices actions? Can anyone tell me?

BobTheDuvet Sat 23-Mar-19 12:05:21

Just rechecked letter I received. They wouldn't send me this while simultaneously asking him that would they?

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 12:06:33

I am sure if they thought it was false you would very much know about it.

glitterdayz Sat 23-Mar-19 13:02:17

I don't believe from what I've been told a police officer who say this to your ex otherwise everyone who made a claim would be in trouble.
You ex may have read or asked about constant false allegations and what could happen.
If you have dc he maybe thinking about using it to say that you are against him. Only you know what he may be up to

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 13:21:53

"You ex may have read or asked about constant false allegations"

This is not the thread to propagate the myth that women and girls frequently lie about rape.

Op - I am sorry that you were attacked by your ex and that he is still abusing you via shouting at you etc. Is there anything that can be done to put someone else in the middle? So you don't have to be ranted at and lied to etc.

BobTheDuvet Sat 23-Mar-19 14:16:43

Thanks - tried various iterations. He just abuses them as well or just carries on regardless. Not sure where the idea of constant false allegations comes from, I reported him once for this matter -!and accepted police/cps decision on it.

Have reported other things, not falsely. I've only reported tbh when encouraged to do so by professionals involved. I don't want to waste police time, but ex keeps acting in a way that forces me to do it.

In any case - my question was would police write that letter if they don't believe me and believe I have made a false allegation. Feeling calmer now than earlier and I do not believe they would have. Ex frequently tells me that xyz person thinks badly of me. Thus far none of the people he says this about bear it out. It's done to undermine my confidence and make me doubt myself. We do have dc together unfortunately. (Love the dc to bits, wish they had a different father)

FATEdestiny Sat 23-Mar-19 14:27:59

I know someone who made a false rape report. There was no accused though. It was not a report against anyone, just a report of an entirely fictious event, done for attention.

In this case the alleged victim was always believed and when examination of the victims body showed zero signs of sexual contact, there were no witnesses, no evidence of the victims presence at the place this allegedly occurred, no evidence whatsoever... the conclusion was along the lines of "not enough evidence to continue" rather than "we suspect you are lying".


If you report a rape and the police believe it is a false allegation, would they would tell you they thought that?


MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 14:30:57

FATE so you think they thought she was lying?

I am a bit aghast at the responses here.

OP I believe you and I am sure if the police thought you were lying you would know about it - you would know from the way they had questioned you etc. Women and girls are well aware of how the police view victims of sex offences all too often and are on high alter to not being believed.

OP your ex is just fucking with you. He thinks you should burn in hell which is bonkers so don't give any credence to anything he says.

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 14:31:47


not alter

starzig Sat 23-Mar-19 14:36:07

Police don't work on personal opinion when addressing the public (may have their own off duty opinion). They work on evidence and there insufficient evidence.

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 14:37:27

That's a very idealised view of things Starzig grin

Are you also alluding to the possibility the OP is lying?

What happened to we believe you?

FATEdestiny Sat 23-Mar-19 14:40:02

FATE so you think they thought she was lying?

It was a he. But yes, I thought he was lying.

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 14:43:26

I mean the OP. You think they thought the OP was lying.

You said this to OP:

"If you report a rape and the police believe it is a false allegation, would they would tell you they thought that?


And coming after the start of your post it seemed to me that you thought that there was a good chance she was lying.

I am really boggled that of the answers to this, 2 have supported the idea that women and girls lie about rape all the time and 1 has asserted that the police are 100% professional at all times in their dealings with the public / victims.

Your thread title seems to be raising the attention of a certain type of poters OP.

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 14:45:04

In other words,

Most posts on this thread are in support of OPs ex.

This is just gorgeous.

OP I hope you are OK.

MyNewBearTotoro Sat 23-Mar-19 14:52:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FATEdestiny Sat 23-Mar-19 14:52:30

Not sure what you're trying to read into my posts *@MeAgainAgain*? Try reading, rather than assuming.

I copied and pasted the thread title:

If you report a rape and the police believe it is a false allegation, would they would tell you they thought that?

And answered the question the OP asked with a very simple and very direct No.

How is that confusing to you? I'll repeat in simple terms for you though *@MeAgainAgain*:

I do not believe the police would tell you if they (the police) suspected you were lying. The police would say something along the lines of not enough evidence.

None of this is anything to do with me expressing any opinions on the OP's situation.

So wind your judgemental neck in MeAgainAgain. Take a breath and stop projecting or guessing what people mean.

CrazyKittenSmile Sat 23-Mar-19 15:02:17

I think they just send out a standard letter in these cases - after I reported a rape which couldn’t be persued due to lack of evidence I received a similar letter saying they couldn’t press charges. Before that I had found it really hard that in all correspondence they referred to the ‘alleged’ sexual assault as it made me feel they didn’t believe me, but I was reassured that they have to refer to things in these terms as unless a crime makes it to trial the police can’t make assumptions either way. Obviously that doesn’t mean individual officers won’t have personal opinions but they have to always have that doubt in the back of their minds to ensure they’re able to weigh up the allegations from both sides of the story. To blindly believe either party wouldn’t be fair or lead justice in all cases.

So when you report a crime the police will investigate and when they decide whether to take it further to court it’s not about the individual opinions of the police as to whether the allegations are true or not, it’s about the evidence they have and whether they feel they can build a case. If they can’t build a case then it doesn’t indicate that they do or don’t believe you, just that they can’t pursue it.

When dealing with your ex when they spoke to him and he denied the allegations they would have had to treat him fairly and ‘believe’ him (even if their gut instinct said otherwise) because in the eyes of the law everybody is always innocent until proven guilty (or honest until proven dishonest) - doesn’t mean individual officers would t have believed you but it is possible that if he was insisting his innocence they may have advised him on how to press charges for a false allegation as this may be following their procedures for people who allege to being wrongly accused regardless of whether they believed him or not.

starzig Sat 23-Mar-19 15:04:14

I'm not alluding to anything meagain. I am saying there is no evidence for her lying, him lying, her telling the truth or him telling the truth. Exactly what the letter states.

glitterdayz Sat 23-Mar-19 15:11:13

@MeAgainAgain where did I say that girls or women were to BLAME or LIED!!!

Where did I mention Rape claims? I said false allegations in general as the OP has a history of issue with her ex and he's an abuser

Shakeitoutnow Sat 23-Mar-19 15:16:19

Sorry this has happened to you OP.
The police would not say this. All they would say is we are processing with the care or not. Your partner is saying this to you to be emotionally abusive. It is entirely up to you but you may find it helpful to talk to women's aid who are skilled in supporting the many women who have experienced these behaviours from men.

MeAgainAgain Sat 23-Mar-19 15:17:15

Glitterdayz you refer to 'constant false allegations.

Shakeitoutnow Sat 23-Mar-19 15:17:23

Case not care

FATEdestiny Sat 23-Mar-19 15:17:26

my question was would police write that letter if they don't believe me and believe I have made a false allegation


The police (as an institution, rather than an individual) have to believe you exactly the same as they have to believe your ex.

It's not really about who they believe. It is legally about what evidence there is. Without sufficient evidence to prove or disprove either you or your ex, they "believe" both of you.

So the simple answer to this question: "would police write that letter if they don't believe me and believe I have made a false allegation" is yes (But change "believe" to "have evidence for")

(And for full clarity to @MeAgainAgain's narrow mind, this is nothing whatsoever to do with any opinions of mine on the OP's situation)

frustratedindivorce Sat 23-Mar-19 15:18:46

I think your ex is talking a load of rubbish to upset/scare you. Of course he will have told the police that he didn't commit the offence and that you therefore must have made it up. He probably got all angry and was posturing and saying can I press charges against her for these unfair accusations against me? And they gave him a very general answer about how false allegations are an offence, in order to fob him off. If he thought he had a chance in hell of doing that he'd have tried. I was stalked by my STBXH recently and the police warned me before they even called him to tell him to stay away that they expected him to deny that he'd been anywhere near my house. I think it's likely that the police are perfectly aware that he did what you've reported but are sorry that they can't prosecute because the sad truth is that a lot of incidents don't get as far as a courtroom.

glitterdayz Sat 23-Mar-19 15:18:58

Op I said from what I've heard directly from a police officer they wouldn't say that. Which is what you asked.
But, I said that if your ex feels you are making false claims in general not about rape but a mix ( like harassment, shouting, hitting) he maybe use that against you. You have said your ex is nasty and abusive, and nasty abusive people use what victims say against them.
I would never say a victim was lying, I simple answered your questions and gave you a response as to why he may say what he did. My friends ex used the absurd claims against him to say she had alienated the dc, if though I'd seen the black eyes!

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