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Child arrangement orders...feeling lost

(9 Posts)
Holly221288 Wed 20-Mar-19 19:36:41

Is there anyone who can help me as I feel a little bit lost.

I have received a C100 form and notice of proceedings in relation to a child arrangement order for my son. My ex partner wants weekly access in a contact centre.

My son is 3 and is currently going through the diagnosis process for autism. He also has a significant speech and language delay (even I struggle to understand him) and other development delays. He would not cope in a contact centre as he struggles massively with people, new places etc.

To complicate things further my son hasn’t seen his dad for around a year as he had around his 10th relapse since he was born (alcohol and drugs). This time my son was with him and he brought him back in the same clothes as the day before, only one nappy used, not fed etc. I then allowed his mum to continue seeing him alone (until he was in recovery again) but she ignored my request and thought it ok for him to be around him so I had to cut contact. I then heard nothing for months, we attended mediation in August but unable to mediate (as social services were contacted when my son was around 18 months and in the care of his dad for an overnight stay by a key worker as he was deemed unfit to have him).

I really have tried, he was in rehab for the first year of my sons life and I took him weekly for hour visits, gradually building to leaving him supervised for an hour until eventually overnight stay. Then the social services thing happened so we started again once he was in recovery then he relapsed again etc etc.

Do I have to fill a C1a form in as there is no mention of drugs/alcohol on his mediation form (they have ticked no)? Also on the mediation form he has stated he saw my son weekly until I cut contact and paid £70 fortnight, both are completely untrue. Do I reply to that anywhere yet? And finally do I say I oppose the application? Sorry for all the questions, I just need to protect my son

Thank you

BubblesBuddy Wed 20-Mar-19 20:05:29

See a family solicitor. I think you need to talk this through with a qualified professional.

Holly221288 Wed 20-Mar-19 20:29:41

Unfortunately I don’t have the funds for that and the form has to be returned by Tuesday

Greggers2017 Wed 20-Mar-19 20:34:36

Is it not possible for his mother to supervise contact then there is no need for a contact centre? This would work better for you and your child in the long run. She can be the protective factor. My mum supervises my brother for one hour per week at her house (he has drug addiction issues)

redastherose Wed 20-Mar-19 22:48:16

Sorry not my area of expertise. Bumping for you perhaps @collaborate or @mrsbertbibbety could help.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 20-Mar-19 22:55:12

I'd try Rights of Women.

MrsBertBibby Wed 20-Mar-19 22:55:23

You may be able to get a free solicitor appointment through your CAB. Also if you have stuff in writing from Social Services you might be able to get legal aid. Are SS involved now? Can you get hold of the SW from before?

Yes, complete a C1A with info about his substance misuse, and other concerns.

CAFCASS will be in touch before the hearing so tell them everything you have said here. Stick to your guns, yes you oppose the app,location.

Good luck.

OneStepOneStumble Wed 20-Mar-19 23:03:40

Some courts have a PSU (personal support unit) a charity that aims to help people who are alone/without representation within the court system. I don't know where you're based but it might be worth looking at?

Holly221288 Thu 21-Mar-19 07:17:30

Thank you so much everybody for replying, I really do appreciate it.

Unfortunately my trust has gone with his mother, otherwise that would of been ideal. She would quite happily leave my son with him despite him being under the influence. I get it to a certain extent as that’s her son and she feels he has rights. But I need to protect mine. She also has alcohol issues of her own.

I will try Rights of Women, CAB and look into PSU today.

All I have from Social Services is a letter confirming no further action would be needed. They called me once the allegation was made (I luckily had very strong support from his keyworker that I would never of left my son if I knew how bad things had got again) and we discussed me not allowing unsupervised contact with his father. And that was that really.

Thank you again so much

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