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Getting a council property big enough when you have children EOW?

(22 Posts)
BobTheDuvet Thu 14-Mar-19 07:03:04

I don't know if this is the right section - couldn't think where else to put it.

Ex is housed temporarily by the council in a tiny studio flat. We have 4 dc. He currently has 3 of them overnight EOW, while the eldest refuses to sleepover.

Ex says that he will be moved soon to a one bed, that he could get a bigger flat if I helped him but doesn't say how.

He has previously, when he was not having any contact at all (2.5yrs ago), asked me to write a letter saying he has joint residence of the dc to enable him to get a bigger flat. My solicitor at the time told me I would be breaking the law to do so, since it would be a lie.

I presume he would want the same thing now - which would still be untrue.

He does not work, I assume gets housing benefit since he gets other benefits, and therefore I assume he would be affected by the bedroom tax? Will the council ever give more bedrooms for a NRP with EOW contact?

We do not have a court order in place, but ex keeps messing us about - chopping and changing at the last minute - and I've been advised to seek an order. I don't dispute EOW, so would it harm any potential court action to write to the council saying this is the current arrangement?

prh47bridge Thu 14-Mar-19 10:34:30

I can't see how it would harm any potential court action. You are simply setting out the current situation.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 14-Mar-19 10:39:40

It's been a while since I've done anything relating to housing, but EOW was not considered enough to qualify someone for a bigger home. They had to have the children more than half the time, or full time. That is why he wanted you to write that the first time.

If you do provide evidence that he has the children EOW, I'd make sure that it's provided to the court directly, or try to mitigate risk by writing it in such a way that it would be difficult to edit or forge into saying he had them more. I hope he wouldn't do that, but he wouldn't be the first!

I don't think you would harm court action by writing that he has them EOW as long as he does - it could be damaging to your case if you intend to say that he does not stick to EOW and you've written a recent letter that seems to contradict that, though, so it probably depends whether he is actually sticking to EOW.

Missingstreetlife Thu 14-Mar-19 10:47:56

No harm in telling truth. He needs more space, but they will say him in bedroom and kids in living room or vice versa, unless one of each sex over 10, or whatever their rule is. Or him and boys one room, girls another. Then he'll get a girlfriend.

BobTheDuvet Thu 14-Mar-19 11:41:50

Thank you very much. I found a citizens advice page which says that to qualify for additional rooms for dc you have to be receiving child benefit for them, which he isn't and isn't going to so it seems pointless to write anything saying the current situation. Also current situation is likely to change due to his medical issues shortly so doubly pointless, and I would tbh be concerned as anchor says about him doing something untoward with anything I did send because he has form for misrepresenting things I have said to authorities involved in dc lives. Thanks again all.

lazymoz Thu 14-Mar-19 11:46:01

My ex was given a 3 bed property and had children EOW. I'm not sure how he could have facilitated overnight contact otherwise as he lived in a studio flat.

BobTheDuvet Thu 14-Mar-19 11:49:05

I'd love him to get a larger flat, I have every sympathy for his situation but I don't see what I can do about it - if the CAB advice is correct then he simply won't get extra bedrooms - or wouldn't be able to afford them if he did due to bedroom tax.

Chocolate50 Sun 17-Mar-19 19:32:51

The local council are often quite flexible if he has the DC half of the time & i knew someome who didn't get the child benefit & did get a property large enough for the DC to stay over. If you are willing to write this would it mean that he would have the DC's more often? Its going to be hard for him to see them overnight if he doesn't have space for them.
If you think that things can be sorted outside court then write what you want.

BobTheDuvet Mon 18-Mar-19 09:33:15

Well, I've told him that if I can help, within the bounds of truth and the law, to let me know. So far radio silence...

Chocolate50 Mon 18-Mar-19 12:03:49

in family court purgury is absolutely rife anyway so I wouldn't worry about writing to help him in the end if its going to help your DC's so that they can have a good relationship with their dad then no harm done

BobTheDuvet Mon 18-Mar-19 12:16:32

Not sure I understand but there is no way in hell I would lie, regardless of whether it would help or not.

MotherofTerriers Mon 18-Mar-19 12:19:10

If you say he has the children half the time, couldn't he use that to claim half the child benefit? Be careful that you don't write anything which could affect any benefits you receive

BobTheDuvet Mon 18-Mar-19 16:54:42

He doesn't have the children half the time so I wouldn't say that. He has EOW and that is not reliable.

19lottie82 Mon 18-Mar-19 18:57:29

The council / housing association won’t give him a larger property based on the fact that he has his kids PT. Only the resident parent (the one who receives child related benefits) gets that privilege.

C0untDucku1a Mon 18-Mar-19 19:03:56

Id probably phrase it something like, he has the opportunity for access every other weekend. Or, you make the children available for access every other weekend.

Then thats not a lie at all.

haba Mon 18-Mar-19 19:06:04

Sorry, I have no idea about the situation... but could I just say I love your name, because my rather quirky, asd son has named his duvet Bob! grin

haba Mon 18-Mar-19 19:07:14

You don't have two friends named Oscar and Mike The Pillows I suppose?

CoachBombay Mon 18-Mar-19 19:14:06

EOW is not enough to be considered having a larger property, he would need to also be in receipt of the child benefit.

He could argue with his housing officer he would like a second bedroom and could apply for a discretionary housing payment to cover it, but chances of this being agreed are slim. He could say he'd pay for the second bedroom regardless of the DHP and he may be awarded a 2 bedroom.

If I were you I wouldn't wrote anything and just decline.

BobTheDuvet Mon 18-Mar-19 20:34:59

@haba lol, no though we do have a pillow called doggason pillow, who is very special. My asd son has a rather hideous toy with huge goggling eyes called, for no apparent reason, 'kangaroo leopard'.

BentNeckLady Fri 22-Mar-19 06:31:38

He’s unlikely to be able to include the children in his application if he’s not claiming child benefit for the . Tbh If he doesn’t work and is on UC he’s be unlikely to afford a bigger property anyway due to bedroom tax.

BobTheDuvet Fri 22-Mar-19 09:05:45

Well yes, but strangely since he complained that I am so selfish because I won't help him, despite him not having actually asked me to - and my reply that I'll help if I can, truthfully and legally - he has gone silent on the matter. Funny that ...

BubblesBuddy Fri 22-Mar-19 16:59:13

With families needing two large homes I do see why there is a housing shortage. It’s difficult but he needs a job and to take responsibility. Sorry if that’s harsh but others need houses who don’t have a house at all!

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