Advanced search

Please help

(99 Posts)
myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 07:22:09

My ex husband has managed to get a court order and c100 and removed my children from my care yesterday. I am utterly distraught, I don't know how he has done it. I have seen the court document and it is full of lies, how can a judge grant it without any proof and just on his say so. He has said I'm a danger to the children, I assaulted my mum, I am suicidal, that we split up because I had a drug problem (we split because he assaulted me in front of our kids and was arrested), he has completely fabricated conversations with my parents, said he only gave them back as I was supervised! NONE of this is true. It is true I had a breakdown and some alcohol issues (that I am addressing) but I was really unwell. I have never been a risk to my children. Social services have said no risk, Drs/psychiatrist/nurse all day no risk. How can he do this? I am seeing my solicitor Monday but I don't see how I can change this with my mental health problems. I love my kids, I'm a good mum, they are loved, fed, clothed, never miss school/childminders, I play with them I cuddle them and I have bought them up alone since they were babies. He hasn't cared until now and yet again he is trying to remove what I love most. I don't know what to do.

SuperLoudPoppingAction Sat 09-Mar-19 07:24:01

Is this an interim order with the intention to review it soon?

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 07:35:51

Yes I think so, I don't even know what will happen next. He got it as an emergency order and said if he had notified me I would have hurt the kids or myself! It's complete lies, how can this happen. He said we will have a meeting next week, is that informal, solicitor? Can I do the same to him as he has blatantly lied to get what he wants?

wobblingalong Sat 09-Mar-19 08:10:06

My ex has tried something similar. However, so far, everyone has seen through his campaign of allegations and his lies, and he has given up.

If ss are involved, then you need to work with them to prove that there are no risks.

Sorry you are in this situation. Whatever you do, do not lie. And if he is lying, his lies will be exposed. I am not a lawyer, but surely there has to be a fact finding exercise?

Also, if he is lying about drugs, etc, then perhaps you should request that you have a hair strand test. If you have nothing to hide, that will prove it.

Collaborate Sat 09-Mar-19 08:18:12

He will have persuaded the judge that there was an immediate risk of serious harm. That is something you are going to have to try and address and rebut in your response. When is the next hearing? I'd imagine either Monday or Tuesday in the case of a without notice order.

prh47bridge Sat 09-Mar-19 08:18:19

Yes, that sounds like an interim order. There will be a full hearing where you will be able to present your case. If you can show that he has fabricated evidence to get the interim order and that you are not a danger to yourself or your children the hearing will not go well for him.

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 08:18:21

Social services aren't involved, they were but closed the case after one phone call. There has been some alcohol and drug use in the past and when I was ill but it wasn't around the children and I was honest with my nurse/gp etc and they raised no concerns. Everything else is just lies, he won't let this go, I can't believe he's actually done this, I'm stunned. He always promised he'd return them, assured me they needed their mother promised my parents they could trust him and now he's turned on me.

Bluntness100 Sat 09-Mar-19 08:22:14

I don't understand op, are you saying he was able to go to court and get an order to remove the kids from your care and that you were never notified proceedings were going on, and the court just accepted was he said and never attempted to verify? This would be very unsual.

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 08:30:19

That's what's happened. It was an emergency order. He obviously convinced the judge I was a risk to the children. I still don't know how he did it. Apart from me having a breakdown while the kids were here that's the only proof he has and even then he's lied about that. He said I assaulted my mum and was taken to hospital. Neither are true. They have just taken his word because if they checked the police report they'd see it wasnt true! (Police turned up because my dad called an ambulance)

Bluntness100 Sat 09-Mar-19 08:38:43

Ok, but without notice it means a court must have believed the children were at risk of serious and immediate harm. But they need evidence, that evidence can even be text messages, voice mails, whatever, and if there is significant alchohol or drug abuse they will grant.

When is it next being reviewed? And what evidence would he have had, because evidence is required.

10IAR Sat 09-Mar-19 08:41:11

He must have provided some kind of evidence OP, it's completely illegal to take such extreme action on hearsay.

Even if the evidence is subjective and you would be able to defend it successfully at another hearing, there has to have been some kind of evidence submitted.

Speak to a solicitor, get everything organised and then take it back to court.

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 08:44:29

I don't know what evidence he had. I've been through all messages and there's nothing, in fact some of them completely contradict what he's put in the order. There isn't significant alcohol and drug use, and I don't know how he would have proof of this. Anyway I am stable and not drinking, attend a course to remain abstinent, go to all my appointments, take my meds. I was really unwell with bipolar, I've suffered with for years and the whole time we were together I was undiagnosed and unmedicated and he had no concerns leaving me all day with a baby

GinUnicorn Sat 09-Mar-19 08:45:40

OP you need to call social services ASAP and work with them. They aren’t there to judge they just want to do what’s best for the children. Might be worth speaking to citizens advice as well. I hope you sort this soon.

10IAR Sat 09-Mar-19 08:48:17

You have proof of engaging with services to support you, aren't drinking and are presumably happy to work with SS to prove your case.

That's good OP, that's something you can show in court.

The one piece of advice I have is to stay calm (I know it's hard, believe me I know) and comply with the court and SS. It's not easy, but it is what's best for your children.

Bluntness100 Sat 09-Mar-19 08:48:46

Could one of your children have contacted him? A family member? A neighbour, a friend?

My understanding is evidence is required by the court for them to grant this, but that evidence might not be something you sent, it could be someone else who was concerned.

How many kids do you have and how old are they?

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 08:54:50

No they are only 7 and 3. I would assume it's probably the social services involvement I had 2 years ago before I was diagnosed where I went on a massive bender while manic and the fact I was drunk when having my breakdown 8 weeks ago. Even then though I wasn't on my own with the children my mum was here. Someone did report me to ss in the summer for drinking 3-4 bottles of wine a day!! Obviously untrue and they closed the case after a phone call. I'm not denying I've had issues but I'm getting better and am on the right meds now. Even when I have been completely off the planet my kids have been safe with my mum or at their dads. I don't get how he can use things from years ago as evidence, he even says in the order I now seem stable?! I don't know if I can do this, I feel completely panicked and broken.

LovingLola Sat 09-Mar-19 08:54:53

I apologise if i am wrong but did you post last week about an alcohol and cocaine binge while your children were in the house? And that a friend was there and witnessed it? If so might she have contacted him ?

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 08:56:55

No that wasn't me.

10IAR Sat 09-Mar-19 08:58:50

OP I think you're very vulnerable, especially as your breakdown was only 8 weeks ago. Do you have support in RL? Are you getting help for your MH? (No judging, genuine concern for you)

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 09:02:24

Yes I have lots of support, my mum is always here. I basically being blackmailed. He wants 50/50 and if I dont agree he drag me through court and I doubt I'll win. I've messed it all up and lost them. I'm trying so hard to get better but I fear this May push me over the edge again 😢

Bluntness100 Sat 09-Mar-19 09:04:58

I don't think the court would accept something from two years ago to grant this op. It would need to be recent to prove to them the children were in immediate risk of harm and had to be removed.

So I'd say you're missing some facts, it could have been anyone who provided the evidence, from friends, family, teachers, neighbours, even the kids themselves, but he will have had something.

Your posts are a bit confusing, your breakdown was only eight weeks ago, so I'm not sure if this was part of it, who reported you in the summer to ss?

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 09:08:28

I don't know who reported me in the summer. It was anonymous. I honestly don't know what he's got on me. That worry's me. I feel like I've lost them already and they are my life. I'll die without them.

Bluntness100 Sat 09-Mar-19 09:09:57

No you won't die without them. And you must have a date for this to be reviewed again? Have you spoken to social services? Does the court documentation not say what evidence was provided or why they found as they did?

myexisanasshole Sat 09-Mar-19 09:21:25

I haven't had the docs yet, just an email copy of the prohibitive steps order. I was out yesterday when they came round so I assume they'll come today?

Bluntness100 Sat 09-Mar-19 09:25:13

Ok, the prohibitive steps order has not been mentioned before. What are they prohibiting you doing op?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »