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Slated by ex on social media & mentioning court. Is it wrong?

(26 Posts)
JoJo2106 Fri 06-Jul-18 12:19:45

Need some advice please.

Me and ex partner currently going through court. He has no contact at the moment with our 10 month old baby due to a domestic violence incident at my home while he was holding ds (age 7 months at the time)

We had our first court hearing last week and the court has said no contact at present due to domestic violence incidents I have told the court about. The thing is is my ex is posting stuff about court and dates etc on Facebook and discussing this on his post with people. He is also slating me saying I have a screw loose etc and indirectly calling me a deadbeat mother on a picture quote he had posted. He is fishing for sympathy off everyone and he is getting it. But what people don't know Is what has really happened and the reason why he isn't seeing ds at present. They think (and he is making them think) that I have just stopped him seeing ds for no good reason.

Is there anything I should be doing about this or telling anyone? Should he really be discussing family court proceedings on a public platform like that and also is there anything I can do about the things he is saying about me on there? I still feel abused by him by him doing this and I am not even in contact with him yet he is still making me feel harassed. Am assuming the court won't look favourably on this? I have it all saved to my phone incase it gets removed.

Any suggestions of if I should notify anybody or should I just let him keep posting and use it against him at next court hearing?

NukaColaGirl Fri 06-Jul-18 12:21:00

Screen shot, print several copies, take to solicitor and keep for yourself. What a twat flowers

JoJo2106 Fri 06-Jul-18 12:26:43

Hi, yes I have screen shotted it all and will print it out. Couldn't have called him a better name myself lol grin

It's absolutely disgusting he is trying to ruin me via social media. Everyone seems to think I am some awful bitch who just doesn't let him see his son and it's not true. I have been dying to tell people who are commenting but am not going to. I have posted nothing about all this on social media at all.

Notsurprisedatall Fri 06-Jul-18 12:43:04

Make copies and send copies to him, the court and then do a covering letter.

Ask the court kindly, to remind the other party that family law is private and not to be shared online.

NukaColaGirl Fri 06-Jul-18 12:45:07

My ExH has done the exact same thing. He actively chooses not to see DD. (after being told by a solicitor he stood next to no chance due to DV , alcoholism and his refusal to hold down a job or a home of his own - sofa surfs) if he did want to see her I’d fight tooth and nail to prevent it - but he’s far too lazy to even attempt it . I’ve also kept a dignified silence.

AJPTaylor Fri 06-Jul-18 12:45:53

Now you have your evidence, step away from social media. maintain your high ground. i had a work friend who went through similar. her dick of an ex basically did everything to prove what a bad father he was. by the time baby was 2 it was down to supervised visits at a contact centre, which he had to pay for. He didnt prioritise this over beer money so visits stopped.
if you read his facebook page he was robbed and every birthday/fathers day its the same. friend has just blocked him /his friends/his family cos they have interest in the truth.

JoJo2106 Fri 06-Jul-18 14:13:53

Thanks everyone I have the lot screen shotted so will definitely be making copies. I did think that family court matters were private, that's why they are held in private. So he's not doing himself any favours here. I'll gladly let him dig his own grave. I have him blocked on all forms of social media and contact but a friend sent me it as she did think it was worth knowing about. Which it is I think as I can tell my solicitor.

MrsBertBibby Fri 06-Jul-18 18:23:23

It will demonstrate his inability to foster good relations, and his lack of child centeredness in exposing the child's mother to public hate.

All grist to the mill.

JoJo2106 Fri 06-Jul-18 19:15:07

@MrsBertBibby yes exactly it will not look good will it. He is trying to completely ruin my reputation. The amount of people he's turned against me is awful. I could easily retaliate and post my own stuff on social media fishing for sympathy but what is the point. Plus it's childish behaviour. He does not have ds at the heart of all this. Just his own emotions and wants.

AJPTaylor Fri 06-Jul-18 19:58:07

indeed. my friends batshit mother went into a full scale fb rant against her including threats. as friend had already highlighted her exes inability to keep the child safe, it just helped to prove the point. im not sure if it was brought up in court at such but it certainly gave sway to the social workers recommendations.
sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders

AJPTaylor Fri 06-Jul-18 19:58:43

that should be exes batshit mother

DragonNoodleCake Fri 06-Jul-18 20:03:34

Thing is people aren't stupid, they know that Facebook posts like that are usually a crock of shit, yes he might be getting 'Facebook fake sympathy' but people are slagging him off for airing his dirty laundry in public behind his back. Just do as others say, keep the evidence and maintain a dignified silence. You won't come out of this looking like the bad parent. What a cockwomble!

JoJo2106 Fri 06-Jul-18 20:30:49

Yes I always slag people off that post all their business on Facebook so I guess people will think the same about him. It was mainly other blokes (friends of his) that were commenting on his post. I just cant believe they are just taking his version of events as gospel and not think that there is always 2 sides to a story yet they've only heard one side. His! It's so bloody frustrating when you read people's responses but I am adamant I will remain the bigger person here and stay silent. I will save it for when we are in court and hopefully show him to be the arsehole he is.

You should hear what he has said to cafcass about me. Told them I'm mental and have suicidal tendencies and that I tried to once cut my wrist with a broken shard of glass (all utter bollocks) oh and I've been on coke apparantly. He must have just thought to himself, I don't really know what to say so I will say the most elaborate stuff I can think of. I have had anxiety and depression my whole life but I have had a lot of tragic stuff happen including breast cancer in my 20s and my dad took his own life. But he has threatened me for months to use my mental health against me in court and he's sticking to his word. But! I have total back up from mental health team I saw for councilling and they are staying I have never been suicidal in my life and thar my mental health is stable.

He is an utter prick!!!

JoJo2106 Thu 09-Aug-18 10:17:03

Well here we are again over a month later and my ex is still doing this. It is getting worse. He is completely exposing me to public hatred. I am actually scared to leave my house with my child in fear of who I might see incase I am verbally abused in the street because of the things he is saying. People just think I am an evil woman who has stopped s man seeing his child. But the court has said no contact he doesn't tell them that.

I was getting well slagged off by his sister on his Facebook and she even commented we are back at court next week. And he did last time. Surely this is all wrong.

Can I do anything aboyt this abuse? I am still getting abused by him even out of the relationship. I have everything printed off to show the court. But Will they be bothered about this?? What can I do to stop this it is affecting my health.

JustAnotherLawyer Thu 09-Aug-18 10:38:59

Make an application for a Prohibited Steps Order and ask for it to be heard with your current case.

JoJo2106 Thu 09-Aug-18 10:43:12

@JustAnotherLawyer our next hearing is next week and it's to find out if a fact finding hearing is needed. My solicitor said we need to deal with one thing at a time but am not sure how much longer I can cope with all this abuse. Not just from him but other people who haven't even met me or know me.

Is this something I can ask them to deal with at this next hearing as it is a hearing to find out if the fact finding is needed or should I do what my solicitor says and deal with one thing at a time? I am so stressed out I can't cope.

JustAnotherLawyer Thu 09-Aug-18 12:02:10

If you have a solicitor, direct your questions to him/her as they have the advantage of full details.

MrsBertBibby Thu 09-Aug-18 14:29:22

It's perfectly common for courts to order no discussion on social media. Do you have a non molestation order, or a restraining order?

JoJo2106 Thu 09-Aug-18 14:45:40

I have just got off the phone to my solicitor he is going to contact my exes solicitor and also raise it when we are next at court as there has been a few Incidents of this nature. It is basically harassment.

I don't have either of those orders but would like a non molestation order if possible. Does that cover harassment on social media?

MrsBertBibby Thu 09-Aug-18 14:50:28

Yes it can cover any form of harassment.

Remind your solicitor that s42 (2) (b) enables the court to make a non molestation order in any family proceedings even if no formal application has been made. Although I don't see why they don't apply, it's not hard!

JoJo2106 Fri 10-Aug-18 10:09:44

@MrsBertBibby thank you I will certainly be mentioning it to him and hopefully they will grant one. Will the court say anything about him talking about court proceedings online do you think? Surely it's contempt of court?

Aprilshowersinaugust Fri 10-Aug-18 10:13:09

His apparent hatred for you will go massively against him if he is trying to get contact with dc.
My ex lost his case due to his obvious hatred towards me.
Bide your time op, it wil be worth it for the final hearing. When he is told to fuck off by the judge. Unfortunately not the exact words!!

JoJo2106 Fri 10-Aug-18 10:21:56

@Aprilshowers I hope they do take it seriously as this is affecting my everyday life now. I am actually scared to go out the house incase I bump into people he has poisoned against me. It's total harassment. My solicitor has said this isn't a no contact case and he will get contact again but it needs to be at ds's pace not his.

When you say your ex lost his case what did he end up with contact wise? Or did he not get anything?

Aprilshowersinaugust Fri 10-Aug-18 10:47:12

The dc were mine from another relationship, he continued to share our dc but got nc with the others. The judge deemed his hatred towards me would actually be damaging for the younger dc.
The fact your ex is preventing you getting on with your life - ie making it difficult to leave the house for fear of abuse - wil go against him. I moved 30 miles away when we split, made it easier. Oh and our dc hit teens and went nc with him in the end!

JoJo2106 Fri 10-Aug-18 11:22:25

Well I just hope they grant me a non molestation order to prevent this happening again as there's been a few incidents now. Everyone has just had his side of the story and they have all fell for it and I am hated. I am an evil woman who doesn't let him see his child apparantly.

When you say it will go against him, in what way do you mean? as In less contact etc?

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