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Legal matters

Postpone first family court hearing without consent

25 replies

JoJo2106 · 21/06/2018 20:18

Hi,

I have my first court date next thursday the 28th in the family court. Me ex currently has had no contact with our 9 month old baby for around 2 months due to him trying to run off with DS and then assaulting me while he was holding baby. My solicitor advised me no contact until there's a court order in place for him to return ds to me. My solicitor is unfortunately on annual leave next week so cant represent me, but he will be back on the Friday. He has asked my exes solicitor if we could request to postpone the hearing just for 1 day so I can be represented the same as he will be and he has refused. He is also refusing interim contact to take place in a contact centre, I have suggested this to reintroduce ds back to my ex as he is only months old and won't have seen my ex for 3 months by that time, plus there is a risk he won't return him if he had him by himself. But he has refused this aswell. I am thinking of ds here and his interests but he just seems to be interested in his own needs and not even thinking or caring how it might affect our baby me just handing him over to him after 3 months of no contact. It needs to be done gradual, I would also like to request he goes on a parenting course to learn more about caring for ds as my ex is literally clueless and has fully admitted he wouldn't know how to feed him (as in food), he has never bathed him in his life and also brings him back in dirty nappies claiming he didn't know. He has never handled a baby before ours and we broke up when ds was 2 weeks old. Does anyone know if this may be ordered by a court that he attends one of these courses?

Does anyone has any idea if a court might possibly postpone the firsr hearing without my exes consent? Just as there has been domestic violence incidents and I will find it completely intimidating me attending court alone and him armed with a solicitor.

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MrsBertBibby · 21/06/2018 22:14

Absolutely not. Your solicitor can instruct Counsel, or a colleague can go.

The court won't adjourn a FHDRA just because of one lawyer.

Instructing counsel is unlikely to be any more expensive than the solicitor going.

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PinkCherryBlossomTree · 21/06/2018 22:17

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PinkCherryBlossomTree · 21/06/2018 22:18

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JoJo2106 · 21/06/2018 22:34

It was literally only for 1 day aswell. My ex will also want me there not represented so he would never have agreed to postpone it. I don't see what difference 24 hours makes so I can be represented just like him. If anything I will most likely agree to nothing at this first hearing as I will have no solicitor to advise me. One thing my solicitor did say though is do not agree or be pushed into anything by the other solicitor if I don't think it's in my son's best interest. Which I definitely will not do!

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JoJo2106 · 21/06/2018 22:35

@PinkCherry by the sounds of it though it is possible by what you say about your ex getting it postponed more than once?

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MrsBertBibby · 21/06/2018 22:47

But it won't be "only 1 day". The next free FHDRA slot will likely be weeks away. You don't just roll up the next day and demand the judge hears you.

Why is your solicitor telling you It's a choice between him or no one?

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JoJo2106 · 21/06/2018 23:22

Ah right I see. I was just going off my solicitor really and the way he worded it as he said "I'm back on Friday I could do it on the Friday" I honestly don't know how it all works as never been through anything like this before.

I'm not sure why he hasn't offered anyone else to be honest. I'm not 100% but in his firm of solicitors I think he could be the only family law solicitor. Could that be it? So it's not sounding promising to get it postponed then? I am just going to feel completely intimidated by him if I have to attend alone. Him and his solicitor and little old me. Great Sad

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Collaborate · 22/06/2018 08:04

No that won't be it. As MrsBB has already said, he could and should book a barrister.

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MrsBertBibby · 22/06/2018 08:17

OP you need to talk to your solicitor to arrange this. It is frankly bizarre that he didn't book someone provisionally the minute he knew he couldn't cover the hearing. And then clear the fees with you.

Parenting courses are generally not ordered unless there is consent, but if he refuses it strengthens your case to keep contact more controlled and limited while the baby is so little.

Have you got any info on suitable courses plus cost? You will need that, talk to your local children's centre to see what they offer. There are many different forms of parenting course. CAFCASS may also be helpful, but you need to be proactive not just leave it to everyone else to come up with resources.

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JoJo2106 · 22/06/2018 09:35

Just called my solicitor and he said there isn't anyone else in the firm that could represent me. The hearing is only 6 days away now so short notice. I have only just gone back to this solicitor as I was instructing him a while ago but because of DV Incidents was told I could possibly qualify for legal aid so briefly seen a legal aid solicitor but getting the evidence together to qualify for the legal aid was going to be more difficult than I thought and with the hearing been next week I needed someone so my mum is helping me financially so have gone back to original solicitor.

He also said where we live there are no local chambers so a barrister would have to travel from possibly Liverpool, Manchester etc so would cost a lot more. This is just the first hearing so do you think I might be ok alone. He just said don't agree to anything you are not comfortable with and not in my son's Interests. I am assuming the second hearing is a lot different and that is more likely to need representation than the first? I know a lot of people self represent and do it very Well, guess am just finding this very daunting as it's all new to me. Wouldn't feel half as bad if he was self representing too but he isn't so it feels quite scary.

I will ask my health visitor about parenting courses as she thought it was a good idea too as my ex doesn't know anything about children at all. And surely it will only benefit him? There's so much more to looking after a baby other than changing a nappy and giving a bottle but don't think he realises this with his know it all attitude.

Someone also said a judge will not look favourably on him refusing a contact centre either as given the length of time of no contact, and my son's young age that is most likely what would be ordered? Is this right?

He should be willing to do anything necessary to see ds and think of his interests not his own. But the whole thing is about him.

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MrsBertBibby · 22/06/2018 09:48

Dear God, your solicitor is weird. Really, I would consider going elsewhere once this hearing is done. What a ridiculous carry on.

If a Court exists, barristers will cover it, and he must know this.

No, do not go it alone. Tell him to brief a barrister. 6 days is not short notice. I regularly scramble counsel together on 24 hours notice. That's what they are for. And they travel crazy distances, that's why I am a solicitor, not a barrister, because it's not child friendly.

Hell I have instructed Counsel at 7.00am for a 10.am hearing because I woke up puking. Mainly by getting them on the phone, outlining the case, and telling them to wing it. Which they did, because winging it is an important tool in every barrister's armoury.

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JoJo2106 · 22/06/2018 12:09

Well my solicitor has just called me back as I had rang earlier to say about a barrister and he has said that he has rang around and there is no-one able to do it as it's too short notice. He also said the court has refused the request to postpone the first hearing. So I am.literally going to have to go it alone Sad I am terrified now.

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MrsBertBibby · 22/06/2018 15:24

I think you need to ring round and get a solicitor who is less useless.

Can you try the legal aid firm you were already in touch with?

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JustAnotherLawyer · 22/06/2018 15:28

I have only just joined MN, so not sure if I am allowed to post links, but will try anyway.

Try to get yourself a direct access barrister here: www.clerksroomdirect.com/

I am not associated with them, but feel that your solicitor is letting you down quite badly in not instructing counsel and not telling you that you can actually try to find a direct access barrister yourself.

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JoJo2106 · 22/06/2018 15:38

MrsBB I have tried the legal aid firm but the solicitor is on another hearing that day. I am having no luck today. But the Secretary did give me a number of a barrister firm in Newcastle which is the closest to me and they said they may possibly have soneone next week but not on a direct access basis it would have to be done via a solicitor, so got back on to the useless solicitor again and he said funnily enough that was one of the chambers he had initially rang earlier and they'd told him they had nobody whereas they told me they potentially would have. It's all very confusing. So I have asked him to call them. Not heard back yet though. If I get nowhere with him should I just try arrange one myself? I am so stressed out today which isn't good as I have a 9 month old baby to care for aswell.

@JustAnotherLawyer thank you I will definitely have a look at that. Honestly the saying is right, if you want something done do it yourself!

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MrsBertBibby · 22/06/2018 15:50

You solicitor is lying about having called that firm.

You can of course go direct access. I don't know much about it as I am a solicitor, but worth a try.

Once you have got past this hearing, complain about the solicitor. Who in hell fails to book an advocate, especially if the court's a bit awkward? Very poor service. I'm really angry for you.

Alternatively try other firms.

It's a FHDRA, not a 5 handed murder trial! It's like falling off a log for any experienced family lawyer.

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Familylawsolicitor · 22/06/2018 20:32

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JoJo2106 · 22/06/2018 22:39

Yes I think you may be right about him not been arsed lol. Well I got absolutely nowhere today and it's Friday and the weekend tomorrow so not a thing I can do now until Monday and by that time there will only be 3 days until the hearing. I got in touch with the direct access barristers earlier and got a quote for a barrister and it was £900 + VAT so definitely out of my price range as the solicitor would have been a lot cheaper than that.

Looks like am going it alone unless I can find another firm but it will be pretty last minute.

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JustAnotherLawyer · 23/06/2018 15:09

Just to add that a lot of people manage FHDRA hearings without representation, so even if you do have to go it alone, try not to worry too much.

Remember that you are not obliged to agree to anything at the FHDRA - if there is no agreement, magistrates and judges will not make an order, particularly in circumstances where concerns are raised. Those concerns will have to be investigated before an order is made, and from what you have written, it would appear that the court will order a s7 report first. Have you already spoken with CAFCASS? If not, make sure you highlight your concerns to them and state that you are not in agreement for any contact at this point.

Lastly, I'd strongly suggest that you change your solicitor. As others have pointed out, it is ridiculous that he/she did not book counsel or an agent when your hearing was listed, particularly since he/she must have known that they would be on holiday that week.

I am surprised at the charge you have been quoted for a FHDRA - I would expect a barrister local to the court to cost no more than £500 (+VAT where applicable) for a FHDRA, particularly since you only need a very junior counsel at this stage. Perhaps you can try again? I have included the link to the Bar Council's directory rather than a private company this time: www.directaccessportal.co.uk/

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MrsBertBibby · 23/06/2018 18:18

I'm guessing the fee was higher as it was direct access.

OP if you end up unrepresented do you have a sensible, supportive friend or relative who could come as your McKenzie Friend?

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JoJo2106 · 23/06/2018 18:35

Yes I am starting to come round to the idea of just representing myself tbh. I have been told by a few people I talk well and I'm very clear and just generally come across very well so I would be capable. Still nerve wracking though.

No I definitely won't be intimidated by him and his solicitor and won't be agreeing to anything as his solicitor has already told mine that he is refusing a contact centre, he wants contact asap in his home. He refused mediation too. He attended a MIAM but only cos he had to to be able to apply to court but refused to engage with me in mediation. To be honest I was exempt from mediation because of domestic violence but was still willing to try it. Someone said a judge wont look favourably on that? So there will be no orders at all at the first hearing? I assumed if I agreed to contact centre and he did they would order that?

Cafcass is calling me on Monday so I am going to write a few notes as to what I want to say. Do you mean i should say I'm not agreeable to any contact at all not even in the contact centre or did you just mean contact with him alone?

Yes I think I may have to find another solicitor as he hasn't been much help. Feel very let down.

I was gobsmacked at the quote for a barrister. No way could I afford that just for the first hearing. I will have a look at that site thank you for that.

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JoJo2106 · 23/06/2018 19:25

MrsBB you could be right yes. Think the private company that arrange it also take a 20% fee so guess that was included in the cost.

I am not sure I would have anyone, my mum will be looking after my baby while I'm at court and seem to have lost touch with a lot of friends. I was speaking to a lovely lady at victim support and she has called me a few times now and she did say she could possibly come with me. I might ask her.

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MrsBertBibby · 23/06/2018 19:48

That would be great to have someone used to courts with you. Definitely take her if she'll come. And make sure the court knows he refused an adjournment so you could get represented.

It's very hard to predict outcome. Sometimes the CAFCASS officer is very proactive, sometimes they are not. Have you had the safeguarding letter yet?

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JoJo2106 · 23/06/2018 20:09

She is calling me next week so will ask her. Yes I will make a point if saying he refused. He's refused a lot of stuff, refused mediation, refused to postpone, refused to see ds in contact centre. No doubt will refuse anything else that comes up. It's so obvious this is all about him. Whereas I am the opposite and ds is my priority and any decision I make is in his interests not my exes.

Yeah hard to know what will happen, that's the scary part about it been in the courts hands isn't it. I have had a letter from cafcass saying they had received the court application etc and that Some one will contact me to arrange a phone call but that is all I've had regarding cafcass. My phone call is Monday. Heard a few horror stories about cafcass. Mainly from reading threads on here, saying they totally disregarded what mother was saying and seemed biased towards the dad's. Am sure it can't always be like that?

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Jonbb · 26/06/2018 14:55

MrsBertBibby thanks for helping Op, it's v frustrating.

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