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house sale, joint bank account, controlling H

(7 Posts)
justanunfortunateslipup Thu 26-Apr-18 05:08:06

Posted this in money and in 30 days only, and the lovely posters recommended I post here too. I really need some fast answers:

I want to leave my controlling H. We jointly own a house which is about to be sold and we are due to exchange this week. H wants me to sign the "sale paper" today. (I don't know what that is.) H is mostly managing the sale. The house is worth £2million and we have a mortgage on it.

The money from the sale will go into our joint bank account. We don’t have any controls in place on our joint account regarding who has to approve the other taking money out.

I am presuming that in order to control me further, H will try to reinvest/distribute money straight away when it goes in, or try to prevent me getting my hands on it.

We have 3DC.

What would be best for me in this situation?

Should I:

Put controls in place to make sure I have to approve of any withdrawals?

Get a solicitor now and what should I ask them to do regarding the money from the sale?

I have never sold a house before and not familiar with the process (although H has and is familiar.) When is my best time to act if I a making sure that I get half of the money?

Can I - after the mortgage has been paid - legally ask for half to go into my individual account?

AjasLipstick Thu 26-Apr-18 05:13:30

Yes to putting controls in place re withdrawls.

Yes to the solicitor.

Don't know about the last question...this is why you need a solicitor asap.

DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING.

flaggerblasted Thu 26-Apr-18 06:07:23

You sound very naive financially (sorry OP) and your DH sounds like he trying to take advantage of that. I think you know the answer to your questions. Phone a solicitor immediately and do not sign anything until you have done so. This may not please your DH, but be be firm.

flaggerblasted Thu 26-Apr-18 06:09:06

Oh and set up your own bank account today. Request all proceeds go there and not joint accounts

MixedHerbs Thu 26-Apr-18 06:22:03

The solicitor who is handling the sale is acting for both you and your DH as joint owners. Open a new account and once you have the account no and sort code, instruct the solicitor that upon completion he should deduct all disbursement then send half the remainder to the joint and half to your new account. He may add an extra bank charge to his disbursement so, about £20 or so, but with that house value that's neither here nor there.
If your DH is likely to be difficult once he realises, you should be prepared to make yourself safe very swiftly and engage your own solicitor to deal with the separation/divorce.
Alternatively, get the bank account, get the new solicitor and ask them to inform the conveyancing solicitor of what to do with the house sale proceeds.

Sophiesdog11 Thu 26-Apr-18 20:03:13

Can I - after the mortgage has been paid - legally ask for half to go into my individual account?

As mixedherbs says, the short answer is yes, and needs to be done before you sign any paperwork. Make sure that your DH hasn't instructed them to pay ALL proceeds into the joint account.

This is exactly what happened when my mums house sold. DB and I just gave the solicitor the details of both of our bank accounts and after charges were deducted, they put half of proceeds into each account. No extra cost was made, unless one of us had wanted a same day transfer rather than 2 day BACS.

Collaborate Fri 27-Apr-18 06:44:37

You should get the solicitor to hold on to the sale proceeds while you negotiate a divorce settlement. Take urgent legal advice. If all you’re seeking is half, go for it. But what if you’re advised your claim is worth more than half?
If your husband disagrees with anything you propose re division, or you disagree with anything he proposes, so your instructions to the solicitor are in conflict, they will have to refuse to distribute until they get the same instructions from both of you, or a court order on divorce.

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