Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

Child maintenance avoidance

13 replies

Wladyn · 09/04/2018 19:46

Hi, my little boys Dad decided while I was pregnant he did not want to be involved. We were dating and had stopped before I found out I was pregnant.

I am at a dead end with child maintenance. He denied parentage and since then he has just been avoiding them calls/texts and letters returned so they do not have an address for him.

No legal action (deduction from earnings) can be taken as he has not had the legal warnings.

I believe he lives at that address and is sending the letters back and when they do their checks they only get that address.

The CMS said they will contact the pay roll of his work and said ‘it can take some time’.

I contact them each month to confirm no payments have been made. This has been going on for six months.

My friends have suggested me getting in contact with his family to confirm his address, but they don’t know he exists and I’ve never met any of them.

Any one shed some hope or their own experiences?

OP posts:

Report

RBBMummy · 09/04/2018 19:58

Just leave it. No good can come of trying to force someone in to your child's life who doesn't want to be there

Report

Collaborate · 09/04/2018 21:01

It may be worth your while contacting a tracing agent. some work on a no find no fee basis. Google it.

I'd go for it. Plenty good can come from you getting financial help from the father.

Report

Allthebestnamesareused · 10/04/2018 16:01

RBBMummy she is not forcing him into her child's life. She is wanting maintenance for a child whose life is partly down to him!

Report

RBBMummy · 10/04/2018 19:44

Its a monthly reminder of the child's existence. A deadbeat will occasionally want a return on his money but leave again as suits them. Some deadbeats even go for custody just to lower child support only to be neglected.

Report

RedHelenB · 11/04/2018 03:04

Why can't theaters be sent to his work address?

Report

RedHelenB · 11/04/2018 03:04

Letters I mean

Report

Graphista · 11/04/2018 03:30

Based on personal experience - call your MP.

Cm agencies are generally shite unless you put a fire under them.

Be a pest, phone weekly even daily if you can. Request it be escalated.

Pisses me off they don't do their job! It's why they exist!!

Report

Starlight2345 · 11/04/2018 03:34

I agree go to your mp.

No reason why she shouldn’t claim . It is to support the child they made together

Report

Tamatave2000 · 11/04/2018 15:46

To OP

Hope you get what you and your child deserve, but be prepared for an uphill battle. My ex is a master of CM avoidance. Worked through a Ltd Company and played the Low Wage High Dividend trick. Then moved overseas and works outside the EU. I don't even know where he is or even if alive?

CMS will not act an investigation service. So maybe you should consider Collaborate advice and do your own investigating

Report

Wladyn · 11/04/2018 23:31

Thank you for all of your replies.

I never thought about the letters to his work place I will mention this when I call CMS next.

I just feel like they are not doing anything until I phone and then all they do is check their systems. They do not seem to be attempting to contact him. I feel like if you do not have an easy case they can not be bothered.

I am thinking of contacting my MP as I have read this has worked for lots of people.

As for tracing agents I think they would be very successful because he is still at the address he was and I do not want to pay £100s to prove this and the CMS not to use it.

I am worried he is currently working on other avoidance methods.

Anyone know what would happen if they confirm his address and he continues to ignore them contacting him?

OP posts:

Report

RipleyAlien · 12/04/2018 10:24

Hi,

My advice would be that you need to start phoning the CMS every day or every other day and ask them what they have done about your case, what date they are sending the next letter out, what date they spoke to the ex’s payroll department, and what the result was.

And it CMS tell you phone calls are being made or letters are being sent then you will need to check with them that they have actually done it.

Document everything - get a notebook - date, time, name of the person you spoke to, what you asked them, the information CMS give you, what their proposed actions are.

Unfortunately I’ve found some of the people at CMS will tell you what you want to hear to get you off the phone, then the next time you call nothing has been done and you’re back to square one.

I know that setting up a deduction of earnings order and going to enforcement is one of the last resorts for CMS. It will take about 3 months to set up a deduction of earnings order.

CMS send out a letter about collect and pay and give the paying parent 2 weeks to respond, this is after at least 3 phone calls (that get ignored), and text messages too.

My advice would be to phone ALL the time. Remain calm, even though it is hugely frustrating and you feel like you are getting nowhere. Double check everything they say they are doing to make sure it has been done.

And I think getting your MP involved is a good idea. Action seems to be taken a lot faster when your MP contacts them.

Good luck with it.

Report

Tamatave2000 · 13/04/2018 05:49

To OP,

If you are certain of your ex's address can you not check with electoral roll records at Town Hall to prove where your ex is living?

Do you know his National Insurance Number? CMS may be able to identify his employer if they have that information.

Previous comments regards CMS sound about right. Every time I called I was connected to a different person and received different advice regards progress and what was required next.

Good luck.

Report

Wladyn · 16/04/2018 15:40

Thanks again everyone.

I have started the diary of who I speak to and what they say. I write a list of questions I have before the call too and write their response. That was a great idea.

They have said they are going to contact him again so I will be phoning to check that they have, as I have experienced them saying they are going to do something only to phone back a few weeks later and they have done nothing. If the letters are returned again, I will suggest they send them to his work if they can do that.

I agree that they seem to say things that make it sound easy and straight forward and sadly so far that has not been the case.

I do not live in the same town as him or know his NI number but I am sure they have that from finding him on their systems.

They have told me it may take a number of weeks to sort out, and I will give them this time before I contact my MP as my little boy is nearly one and I was hoping this would have been sorted months ago!