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Restraining order for partner's estranged & violent husband

(3 Posts)
BilstonWriter Sun 18-Mar-18 19:48:24

Hi all

I'm new to mumsnet and am actually a dad. I hope that's allowed.

I'm looking for advice on a pretty scary situation involving the estranged husband of my new partner.

He has a 2 year restraining order in place to prevent him contacting or seeing his wife which we think he breached today, though the police will confirm that in due course. That has been in place 2 weeks tomorrow.

My question is about getting a restraining order in place to prevent him threatening and harrassing me, which he has done in the past and which we fear he will continue to do as our relationship develops further. He's said as much. He's said he'll never allow us to have a relationship. In January he was cautioned for attacking me in the street when I was forced to lock myself in my car until he left the scene. He threatened to kill me then. He's since driven past my house (I live in a cul-de-sac) and threatened several times to come to my house, one of which resulted in his wife chasing him in her car. He's confronted us in a store where he threatened me again.

He showed his wife a large hunting knife he'd bought which at a later date he intimated was to use on me. There've been other occassions too which have resulted in 999 calls (around 4 in total I believe).

Most recently he made a direct threat to kill me, both verbally and with a finger across the throat gesture. This happened when I dropped my partner at court for a hearing about his access to their children. He was arrested for this and questioned for making threats to kill. He was released without charge as it was his word against mine.

All in all I'm seriously frightened; frightened to the point of being afraid at times of going to work or frightened each time a car passes outside my house. I'm absolutely petrified of the time I eventually move in with my lovely partner. I won't let him prevent that but I won't be able to live happily or in a relaxed way. My relationship with my partner is at the point where we're discussing living together in the medium term future, and discussing also her introducing me to her children at some point. We've seriously considered moving away and telling nobody where we're going save for her parents and brother.

I suppose I'm looking for advice from anyone who's experienced this sort of thing. Am I likely to be successful in my application for this restraining order?

I am currently in the process of obtaining a log from the police of all the calls I've made to them and the nature of the incidents, and will use this to support my application. My partner has said she will provide support in the form of corroborating my statements.

Does anyone have any experience of this type of situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

TwistyWillowTree Sun 18-Mar-18 20:09:26

You need to move this to the 'Legal' topic to get useful replies I think. Click the 'report' button next to your opening post and ask for it to be moved.

It sounds horrific and you have my sympathy - though I have no useful advice I'm afraid.

GoJetterGirl Sun 18-Mar-18 22:20:48

You can seek to have a restraining order against anyone, provided the restraining order would realistically be needed, which in this case, it definitely is. You also need to think about the contact situation between your partners ex and her children if you were to move in together and move away. You can keep your address confidential, however, that won't stop the kids telling him if asked.

Good luck OP, clearly your partner needs a loving relationship having been with someone who sounds like a nightmare. The fact you have not let his behaviour deter you shows that you care for her very much star

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