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Can I send an email to CAFCASS before interview?(8 Posts)
I have emailed local children services to update them that a Section 7 report is being ordered...(my abusive ex with mental health issues and addiction issues is asking for a Child Arrangement Order for shared care... )
Can I also email CAFCASS office as I have had a letter through with my assigned officers details and am awaiting contact from her for an interview but I have concerns that ex is using all his contact times that he has at the moment (only day times) to brainwash DD who is 3....she asked not to have overnights with him anymore & was having night terrors every night, his behaviour became more hostile and erratic again at handovers as well...my solicitor advised I revert to original contact schedule of no overnights but now I feel supervised contact is best until he can sort himself out, he is using court as a way to get power and get his "fair share" and "win" over me, not because shared care is what's best for DD, at all. She is very settled now apart from the fact that nearly every time she see exP or his Mum she comes back upset saying they have said something nasty about me or she randomly will say she wants to live with Daddy because he wants her to, or she is angry at me because she says Daddy told her I am stopping her seeing him. She's very confused. Ex is also trying to turn things around on me and twist things...outright denying abuse even though he has been abusive to me and DD (not proven) but he did half admit to it a few times. I am worried he will just charm the CAFCASS officer or make them feel very sorry for him as he is very good at that. He's a master manipulator and is trying to make me look like a bitter ex trying to punish him, when actually I left him as he was abusive and wouldn't address his mental health issues or addictions. They have ordered a drugs test for him as well as he said he hasn't taken drugs in over a year...then in the original cafcass letter he said he only takes drugs socially not when with DD...so which is it? Hmm.
I am so stressed and worried for DD as he will at the very least psychologically damage her if he continues to have so much unsupervised contact with her I feel... and the impact on me as her primary carer is massively stressful and traumatic as well and he knows this and uses things to do with DD as chances to get to me all the time. Even starting an argument with me over me asking him to give DD supper at 5pm before she comes home. It's really intolerable right now. I am worried I'll be too nervous to get everything across to cafcass in person...I want to make them aware of what's being going on recently with exP manipulating DD and her coming back unsettled and upset after contact. Should I ? Or will they not read it /take it into account ?
I think you would do much better to make a list for yourself of all the things you want to say, and check it back at the meeting.
Emailing in advance just makes you look like you are trying to be in charge, and CAFCASS officers hate that.
Social services can be ordered to prepare the section 7 report if they are actively involved. In any event CAFCASS should speak to social services to get their input.
I don't think I'd email before meeting CAFCASS.
Thank you so much!! Yes that was what I was worried about...in a way I am worried my ex has already "taken charge" and emailed them so I wanted a chance to set the record straight. Silly I guess.
I think also because he filed his position statement in court at the FHDRA without leave...I feel he's "had his say" already and I haven't written mine yet as been waiting for my solicitor and also I feel sick everytime I think of anything to do with court and been just focussing on every day life with my DD / trying to set up a business as well at the moment. I basically want to just write as my position statement:
"For the record, everything he has said is a lie, or twisted half truth to make himself look like the victim. All he cares about is winning and gaining power over me. He doesn't care about DD's feelings, just possessing her. I believe he will damage her for life if he gets shared care. DD is happy not having overnights with him. I just want him to leave me alone and let us get on with our lives and be happy and focus his energy and money on being a better Dad/person for DD in future. The end. "
Can I do that ?!?!?!? Ha.
Also will they interview me with DD? How will I be able to speak to them frankly or properly/ in-depth about this with DD around...she has a tantrum if I try to speak to a delivery person for 2 seconds !! haha/ Exaggeration but... also she shouldn't hear what I'm talking about or saying about the situation it'd not fair on her surely ?
You will have your chance to speak alone. What is the actual issue though as it is not very clear?
You'll need to arrange childcare for the meeting then. Have you got someone who can be with you so they can take DD out so you can speak alone? The Cafcass officer should want to observe you with DD and see you alone so when they ask to make the appointment discuss the practicalities.
When are statements due to be filed? Is the s7 filing of the report scheduled after that ?
In the meantime you should adhere to the court ordered contact. Keep a log of the things your DD has said as per your post which you think is as a result of influence by her father - dates, times and exactly what she said - this could be included in your statement.
Maybe try to get a second opinion on changing very emotive language that might sound hyperbolic. I know and you know it's accurate. They might react differently to it.
Ie 'damage her for life' changed to 'cause ongoing harm' - it's the same thing really.
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