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Rights to move..

(5 Posts)
seagrove88 Fri 12-Jan-18 20:58:11

Hi I was wondering if anyone could offer any insights or experiences to help with my current situation. You'll have to bear with me as it will be a long one..

I moved into my current flat 3 and a half years ago with my oldest son when my house I was renting was sold and I was left needing to be housed by the council. They put me in a grubby estate in the middle of the city so naturally I waited a year and started looking to exchange.

I have always hated my hometown and did live hundreds of miles away before I fell pregnant with my son but circumstances meant I had to come home and I fell pregnant quite soon after and was stuck, so when I was looking to exchange I was aiming to leave the area again (although not as far as to not ruin access between my son and his father).

With my flat being in such a dump it took a long time to find someone silly enough to want to exchange, in this time my son had started school literally across the road from his dads house. When I told him we were going to move and his access wouldn't change, with me even offering to still drop him and collect him every day he did not say much to me, leading me to complete exchange paper work etc and set a move date. Then I receive a letter from mediation, I go and am advised I am unable to move his school with no good reason (never mind wanting to offer my son a better start in life and better opportunities than I feel this place can offer) and am told it will need to go to court where I am likely to be told the same.

Literally a matter of days before said mediation appointment I find out I am expecting my second child, who's father lives and works 70 miles away, however we are in a relationship. So I nod along in mediation with the view to having the baby, getting adjusted to his arrival and then facing court. My aim now to moving somewhere equally between both my children's fathers, so my oldest does not miss out on any time with his dad, and my newborn can then go on to have more time with his dad who now only sees him at weekends too.

Will the courts take into consideration both of my children and see this as a legitimate reason to move? My oldest's dad doesn't care about his school just wants to keep me here and it's something he can use. He is happy for his son to grow up dodging spit walking up the stairs to our flat every day and witnessing drug deals on a daily basis to keep us here. Plus to him it all makes him look like the better parent. He also has said he can live with him, when he works long hours and his mum would bring him up, something I am so strongly against as there is no discipline or anything there he behaves terribly and it will do him no favours in the long term.

Has anyone been through anything similar and can help? I have no idea what to do or what to expect, the thought of bringing up my sons here horrifies me and I am regularly in tears at the prospect of never getting out of here and my sons growing up to be the disrespectful awful teenagers I see here on a daily basis.

Help! 

Liara Fri 12-Jan-18 21:03:24

Sorry, I'm a bit lost? When is your move date and does it give you time to give birth before it?

But logically speaking, having your child who is not yet born more accessible to their father should be considered a 'good reason' by the court, one would hope!

seagrove88 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:39:49

Sorry I must have got lost in my paragraphs, I was due to move last March, discovered I was pregnant just before then and then mediation happened so my exchange fell through, my newborn has been here since November now.

Liara Sat 13-Jan-18 20:27:35

Oh, I see. Well I should hope that a judge would take that into consideration, but bumping for you in the hope someone else will come along who knows better than me.

seagrove88 Sun 14-Jan-18 05:32:23

Thank you Liara

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