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Arrangement order

(19 Posts)
YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 18:31:57

My daughter is refusing me contact with my 7yo grandson (both have lived with me since he was a year old)

My solicitor emailed her to ask for her new address to serve papers but she is refusing to give it. I know the area she lives in and her last address.

Can anyone tell me what happens next?
I'm worried sick about both of them.

Matilda1981 Thu 30-Nov-17 18:36:50

I’m not a legal expert but I don’t think you can legally make her let you have contact with your grandson.

WitchesHatRim Thu 30-Nov-17 18:39:19

I’m not a legal expert but I don’t think you can legally make her let you have contact with your grandson.

I would suggest the OPs case isn't that straight forward considering that a solicitor is trying to serve papers.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 18:42:55

I'm not trying to make her - I'm going through the court for an arrangement order, which I can do since he has lived with me for more than 3 years.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 18:43:57

Thank you WitchesHatRim

MrsBertBibby Thu 30-Nov-17 18:59:11

When is your first hearing?

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 19:03:52

I haven't signed the papers yet - they have been back and forth for amendments.

I've paid the fees today though

MrsBertBibby Thu 30-Nov-17 19:15:25

I'd suggest your solicitor seeks permission to serve by email.

Alternatively, she'll have to apply for an order that the DWP/ HMRC disclose her address to the court. Slows things down but effective.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 19:18:51

Phew, thanks MrsBB, so there is some hope!
Thank heavens.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 19:21:21

I'm afraid she will refuse to communicate with them, particularly when she learns my solicitor has requested a hair strand test.

ChampagneCommunist Thu 30-Nov-17 19:34:27

Is the hair strand test for drug testing ?

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 19:56:36

Yes, my grandsons father died last year from an accidental overdose and I discovered my daughter has also been taking drugs this year after a period of abstinence.
I thought she was suffering depression or some other illness after her ex passed away (they had been separated for 6y) but it seems it was withdrawal. Her behaviour changed (so did my grandsons) this year so I took them and my daughters new girlfriend on holiday to cheer them up. It was while we were away that she became very aggressive and told me I would never see my grandson again.
I put up with her behaviour towards me because I have mobility needs and I was terrified about getting home if she refused to help me.
Unfortunately when she was increasingly aggressive toward my grandson I challenged her and then I had to turn to strangers to help me at the airport.
She moved out when we got home.
I've found out a lot of things since then that show she is not the person I thought she was.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 20:00:50

I'm sick with worry about them both.

MrsBertBibby Thu 30-Nov-17 20:11:02

Have you raised your concerns with social services?

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 20:17:46

Yes, I was told NFA - I retired from Childrens Services last year so I should have known they would do that when I said I was going to court.
It saves them doing a section 7, doesn't it?

Bigboobielou Thu 30-Nov-17 20:36:32

How old is your DD?

Her moving out immediately seems like quite an extreme thing to do.

Could there be other reasons she’s withholding contact?

MrsBertBibby Thu 30-Nov-17 20:50:33

So social services know where she lives?

That should speed things up.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 20:56:51

She's 27.

This has come as a shock to me - she's gone to live with her girlfriends parents who have helped her to get a housing association house.

I have been very ill for 3 years with pernicious anaemia and I have found out that she has also taken quite a bit of money from me while I was vulnerable (due to brain fog) and that she is also paying fines from a court a fair way from where we live. She has also cut off some of her friends and changed her job. Since she left home there was fraudulent use of my credit card - she was the only other person with access to it.
I trusted her implicitly and I would have given her anything she wanted.
She says I'm crazy, homophobic and this is all my fault.
There is much more that I have found out that has left me grieving for the daughter I thought I had.

YNK Thu 30-Nov-17 20:58:21

No she has recently moved from her girlfriends parents.

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