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If I'm resident parent can non resident parent take kids and change school?

(14 Posts)
Completelydad Sun 12-Nov-17 22:41:57

Me and my wife split a little while ago leaving me with my 4 and 5 year old daughters. She has moved 45 miles away to find a better life!! She has the girls every weekend. I have a full time job which works around the girls fine. She has been asking the kids who they want to live with and telling them they can start a new school. Can she just move them as I am the resident parent? Can 5 year old make that decision?

Completelydad Sun 12-Nov-17 22:43:07

Me and my wife split a little while ago leaving me with my 4 and 5 year old daughters. She has moved 45 miles away to find a better life!! She has the girls every weekend. I have a full time job which works around the girls fine. She has been asking the kids who they want to live with and telling them they can start a new school. Can she just move them as I am the resident parent? Can 5 year old make that decision?

ferriswheel Sun 12-Nov-17 22:46:03

I imagine its unlikely but I don't know for sure.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 12-Nov-17 22:49:10

I don't think so.

You may well need legal advice but I think as the children currently live with you then that would count for a lot. My friends children in a similar situation the judge said he wouldn't take their opinion into account as they were too young but if they'd been older (secondary school age) he would have done.

Collaborate Mon 13-Nov-17 06:36:30

No she can’t. She needs your consent it a court order. She should stop talking to the children about this too, as it is destabilising them. You should speak to her about this and mention if it doesn’t stop you’ll have to consider changing the basis of her contact.

bengalcat Mon 13-Nov-17 06:44:22

Is your resident parent bit and legal context of your split formalised ? Or is it just the case she moved out leaving you 'holding the babies ' . Clearly if she's talking to them about moving schools she doesn't / may not view your current arrangement as a permanent/longterm one . I'd seek legal advice so you're forarmed .

babybarrister Mon 13-Nov-17 08:04:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Completelydad Mon 13-Nov-17 08:37:37

Thanks for the advice folks.
Our separation is in the process of a separation agreement at the lawyers now, setting out all financial, maintenance and access of the kids. I think it's definitely permanent. Your right about her confusing the children. They're excited about telling there friends today they are moving schools.

MrsBertBibby Mon 13-Nov-17 11:10:45

You may need to consider applying for a Prohibited Steps order to prevent her acting unilaterally, especially if there is a risk their school places would be filled fast if they were withdrawn.

Have a chat with their current head, explain the situation.

MrsBertBibby Mon 13-Nov-17 11:12:32

Do you both have solicitors? If so, get yours to talk to hers. Any competent solicitor will tell her she mustn't behave like this.

HeebieJeebies456 Tue 14-Nov-17 14:10:15

Make sure the child benefit and child/working tax credits are coming to you in your name as well as having informed CSA to start claiming maintenance from her.

What you don't want is her refusing to bring them back after her contact weekend and you having to go to court to get them back.

TrojansAreSmegheads Tue 14-Nov-17 14:13:51

unless a court has ruled on where the children live then both parents have equal right to decide where the children live. that is why a parent can boot out the other parent but keep the kids. or pack bags and move out with the kids. or not return them after a weekend visitation and have the police say sorry cant help (all things i have seen happen)

hopefully the court process will be speedy and set everything in stone.

mustbemad17 Tue 14-Nov-17 14:15:17

If it isn't legal yet or there are no orders in place then yes, sadly she can. As above, you need to make sure she doesn't take your kids for the weekend as agreed then refuse to bring them back, because with both of you having PR you would have to go to court. It's classed as a civil issue unless their welfare is in question so even the police won't get involved. My ex hadn't seen my DD in about 6 months then tried to collect her from pre-school with the intent of taking her off. Thankfully pre-school had been made aware so called me before handing her over!

Collaborate Tue 14-Nov-17 21:22:20

unless a court has ruled on where the children live then both parents have equal right to decide where the children live. that is why a parent can boot out the other parent but keep the kids. or pack bags and move out with the kids. or not return them after a weekend visitation and have the police say sorry cant help (all things i have seen happen)

Whilst that's true in so far as the police are concerned, the court will grant swift interim relief in order to revert to the status quo before a more substantive look at the arrangements.

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