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Access to grandchildren

(7 Posts)
FairfaxAikman Tue 07-Nov-17 14:56:48

I am NC with my mother. She is manipulative and self centred and it does nothing good for my mental health (I have had one breakdown in my teen years).
I have literally seen her twice in 10 years - one of those was at my wedding three years ago than I was bullied into inviting her by other family members (much to my later regret).
I am due my first DC next year. I haven’t told her but DF did tell my sister (who I am also NC with and who worships mother).
This is brought down a storm with Sis cutting contact with DF and his parents and telling them they will never see her kids again (as manipulative as mother).
I know she’s doing this in the hope DF will railroad me into doing what she wants and so far he’s been ranting at me regularly over it.
His latest ploy is to tell me that mother has rights to see DC.
From what I can see she would need to go to court, prove there was a preexisting relationship and that it was in DCs interests.
However that’s as it applies in Scotland and the situation is muddied by the fact mother lives in England.

Any clue where I stand on this?

Theresnonamesleft Tue 07-Nov-17 16:55:45

It's the same in England. She has no rights, and would have to apply to court to get their permission to apply. Afaik as with Scotland there has to be a pre-existing relationship, and it's in the child best interest. I don't think its cheap either. Once she becomes aware of the costs she may back down.

MrsBertBibby Tue 07-Nov-17 18:53:34

The relevant law is the law where the child lives, not where your mother lives.

Is your father still with your mother?

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Tue 07-Nov-17 19:00:21

Your mother will get no access that you don’t allow her. I have been through court with my EXPIL and they were granted contact but the judge made it clear that if it hadn’t been for the already established relationship and the fact my DCs father was entirely absent then they wouldn’t have been granted any. The contact was granted for my son’s interests and not for the grandparents. The judge said this was so my son could maintain a link with his paternal family. In your shoes, your future children have both their parents and no existing relationship with your mother.

2014newme Tue 07-Nov-17 19:01:30

My mother said the same I took legal advice. She has no rights and hasn't seen my children for 6 years

FairfaxAikman Tue 07-Nov-17 19:10:52

DF isn’t with mother.

Thanks for the reassurance. I thought it was the case but DF had planted seeds of doubt.

MrsBertBibby Tue 07-Nov-17 19:34:11

Tell your father to buck his ideas up or he can join your mother on the naughty step.

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