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Dcs father is trying to change contact with no discussion

(5 Posts)
Happywhenfed Mon 09-Oct-17 20:00:53

I’m looking for some help I’ve tried look through some previous threads but seem to be going round in a loop with access/contact in Scotland.
Dds father and I separated 2 years ago, divorce is currently going through. At the time of separation it was agreed that dd would primarily live with me and see her Dad eow Friday night to Sunday afternoon and one night during the week. The arrangement has been in place and working well, Dd is settled in both homes and knows her routine well.
Dds Dad has started a new job and stated that as he is working five days on five days off her will have Dd on his days off.
I appreciate that the previous hours will not work due to his schedule and have offered to sit down and look at these but he’s is adamant I can’t dictate his contact and he will have Dd on his five days off.
My concern is that with the way the pattern falls some months I would only get one full weekend a month with Dd and while I want her to have contact with her Dad it would be unreasonable of me to say I work 5 days on and 2 off so will have her every weekend. I’m also concerned about the impact on Dd, while in understand that this kind of arrangement can work it would be a big change and wouldnt mean set days which I think could be confusing and unsettling for Dd- she has just started school this year and would be back and forth. Also I’m the one who arranges any doctors/ dentists/school appointments for Dd, taking time off work to attend.
Dds Dad has so far refused offers over the last two weeks to discuss and maintains her will have our daughter every five days and we have come to an impasse.
Doing some searching online it appears that mediaton would be required before I court would intervene but I’m unsure if any mediator would do and what will happen if he continues to refuse to discuss this even via mediation.

BewareOfDragons Mon 09-Oct-17 20:06:44

How nice that he thinks it's all about him.

Get legal advice asap.

BewareOfDragons Mon 09-Oct-17 20:08:06

And I love how he is telling you that you can't dictate his contact, as he tries to dictate yours ...

NorthernLurker Mon 09-Oct-17 20:18:37

Did he forget he had a responsibility to his child when applying for his new job hmm

Happywhenfed Mon 09-Oct-17 21:30:42

Thanks for your replies and taking the time to read (especially with the lack of paragraphs and typos!)
I am trying to get to an agreement but it does feel like he is trying to dictate to me.

He’s obviously not thought about the fact that I have structured my job around current time and being able to do the majority (I’m lucky enough to have some family help) of school pick up/ drop offs currently. His needs appear to be coming before dds at the moment.

I have a holiday coming up Wednesday and Thursday I’ll contact the solicitor who has been drafting my divorce to see if she provide some advice.

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