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Does ex have legal right to know my address?

(10 Posts)
lilybunnytalks Sun 08-Oct-17 16:29:22

Split with exp when he was arrested for assault. History of dv and da.

He has supervised contact with dc at contact centre currently. He is currently bound by an undertaking he made to court not to have any direct contact with me.

I moved house and haven't told him my new address. Told him that I was moving months before I did. He didn't object, but did keep coming past my old place 'accidentally' running into children and chatting to them. He keeps asking for my new address, and saying he has a legal right to know where dc live. Does he? He has somehow found out the road and approximate house number in any case which feels very intimidating.

He is also refusing to pay any maintenance unless I give him my bank details. I don't want to and would like him to pay by PayPal - which CMS said was ok. Am I being unreasonable.

MrsBertBibby Sun 08-Oct-17 17:32:22

No, he does not, and no, you are not.

lilybunnytalks Sun 08-Oct-17 20:57:58

Thank you.

He is also saying that I should be paying half of his travel costs to see the dc in new town. It is 40miles away from his home.

I already pay half of the cost of the contact being supervised. Should I be contributing to his travel costs as well?

Collaborate Sun 08-Oct-17 21:44:31

He cannot force you to pay towards any of the travel costs.

Re the maintenance, use the CMS as a collection service. It will cost you a small amount but will cost him a lot more.

lilybunnytalks Sun 08-Oct-17 22:24:31

Thank you. I will ignore requests to contribute to his costs and go back to CMS about non payment of maintenance then.

Should I just try to ignore his telling me that he now knows where I live? He's not openly threatening me and has not yet turned up here. It feels threatening but I'm guessing there is not much I can do and that engaging with him in any manner will only encourage him as he'll know he's getting to me?

LittleCandle Sun 08-Oct-17 22:32:40

You might be as well to alert the police to the fact he is trying to find out where you now live. Then they will be quicker to answer any 999 call if you (God forbid!) ever have to make one.

I would let the CSA handle the money situation. That is what they are there for. Do not engage with your ex at all!

MrsBertBibby Sun 08-Oct-17 23:04:35

Is he not in breach of his undertaking by contacting you to tell you where you live?

DaisysStew Sun 08-Oct-17 23:12:11

You don't need to give him your address as pps have said. I moved 2 years ago and even when we went to court they kept my address off all the documents at my request.

As far as maintenance CMS advised me that if you contact your bank they can give you a generic sort code so he'll never have your full details or know which is your local branch and the money still goes in your account.

lilybunnytalks Mon 09-Oct-17 09:10:37

I don't know if he's breaking his undertaking - it's no direct contact, contact via a third party who I agree to. I agreed to his family member to save money, I address my coms re children to her, he replies via her but directly addressing himself to me, and not confining himself to matters regarding children.

I find it upsetting but decided it's prob best just to ignore, keep directing replies to the family member and only respond re dc. If I took it back to court I'd end up having to have more contact with him.

Informing police is a good idea. I will do that. Thanks.

Giverortakeafew Wed 11-Oct-17 06:19:10

Don't give him your address. Let him get a court order for it, although I will doubt he will get one given not allowed direct contact and he has lurked around before "accidentally". Let him explain to a court how it would be in kids best interest for hom to know where you live!

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