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Court order

(17 Posts)
ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 10:33:53

Hi this may be long so please bare with me.

Nearly a year ago my sons dad offered to sign over his rights if I dropped the CSA case which had been ongoing since his birth (he's 6) he hadn't seen him since he was 3.

Anyway I said fine he doesn't miss or on not seeing him and he doesn't pay for him anyway - CSA are chasing but that's a different story

He then decided to take me to court for access - I should add he decided to stop seeing our son and I have never moved etc so he knows where we have been, never received a Christmas or birthday card etc.

We went through court, he was granted supervised contact and then has just had his first non supervised contact, the day after this contact he emails me saying he wants to sign his rights over and have nothing to do with my son.

Obviously I am fuming now because my son didn't need to be put through all of this and isn't some pawn.

My son is not his only child.

I was just wondering really if anyone knows where I stand when it comes to contact now, am I going to get in trouble if I don't take my son as arranged even after the email he sent?

I have contacted my solicitor but he is on holiday until Thursday so not sure where I stand legally until he comes back and just wanted a bit of advice, I don't see why I should have to put my child through this when this is the second time he has offered to sign him over.

Thank you.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 26-Jun-17 10:36:21

In the UK there is no such thing as signing your dc away. However much you wish it was legal. .

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 10:38:26

I know which I have told him and the courts told him but surely this shows he has no interest in his child?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 26-Jun-17 10:41:42

A judge won't be too impressed he has put everyone though a case and let his ds think he wants a relationship then dumps him yet again. .
Likely go back to supervised again which he prob won't show for. . Then get on with your lives without him. What a twat. .
He isn't an asset to your ds and a judge will surely agree. .

BubbleAndSquark Mon 26-Jun-17 10:49:08

He has cancelled contact this time by saying he doesn't want to see him so you don't need to go and wait for him, you have a valid reason for thinking he is not intending to see him for the next contact and to make alternative plans. Or has he since asked for you to make him available for the court ordered contact time?

Longer term, you could apply for a variation and ask for a reduction in contact time as you are worried it is too unsettling for your son starting larger amounts of contact time for this to then likely be stopped again due to what ex is saying he intends to do. Not sure how likely they would be to grant this though as the view tends to be any contact is beneficial unless serious harm is a risk.
Alternatively, wait it out and he may well just stop seeing him then theres nothing you need to do, or if its irregular and unpredictable contact then once you have a pattern of him cancelling or missing contact you can apply for a variation/reduction on the grounds of it being distruptive for DS having contact at a level ex can't commit to and therefore DS not knowing when he is with him or not, and you not being able to make arrangements for childcare/activities for DS etc due to having to remain available for contact order that's not being followed through by ex.

BubbleAndSquark Mon 26-Jun-17 10:55:00

Is handover at a contact center? If so I would give them a ring the day before next contact and let them know ex has cancelled contact and said he doesn't want to see DS anymore. This way you've covered your back in case he does turn up and try to make out you're not following the court order.

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 10:56:06

Thank you. No since I have received that email I haven't had anything else from him, I guess I just don't want to be seen as the one to breech the order but clearly he has done that by saying he doesn't want anything to do with him

Still a bit wound up as feel bad for my son (although I haven't told him) so probably not thinking clearly

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 10:57:04

The next contact is suppose to be in the community where we do the handover ourselves, I have emailed my solicitor though so hopefully this will help cover me

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Mon 26-Jun-17 11:26:23

What a nasty piece of work! Your poor son must be so confused.

Keep the email and do not show up for contact. If he takes it back to court for breach of the order then you can show them that it's your ex who decided (after dragging you to court for access) to end the arrangement, not you.

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 20:23:24

Turns out it was his partner who sent it from his account hmm he has just emailed me apologising

kittybiscuits Mon 26-Jun-17 20:27:11

Er....do you believe him?

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 20:31:51

Not really, wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, she has also emailed me saying it was her because she was angry with him.

I just replied to him saying he will be hearing from my solicitor and my son is not a pawn in their games

kittybiscuits Mon 26-Jun-17 20:52:09

Fair enough. He sounds like a nightmare

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 21:05:12

Unfortunately he is sad I just feel bad for my son

kittybiscuits Mon 26-Jun-17 21:30:27

Why did they move on from supervised contact?

ColourfulOrangex Mon 26-Jun-17 23:19:53

The court decided supervised contact would only be suitable for 4 sessions, they were very much on his side and bought into his lies

kittybiscuits Tue 27-Jun-17 08:45:50

It's a persistent theme and very worrying.

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