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Court date for contact

(9 Posts)
Asaroe91 Thu 25-May-17 15:23:29

My ex husband was abusive to me whilst holding my son and pregnant with my daughter. I left this time last year and stopped contact in March. Hes applied to court c100 and has just filled it wihlth lies. Hes ticked no to domestic abuse and no to affecting kids and hes wrote a statement about how i have stopped him seeing the kids bcz i dnt like his family. Its alll lies. Im angry and really upset. I have a court date end of June. Has anyone been in this situation before? What will happen? I have contacted my solicitor but need to pay a cosulation fee of £80 just to apply for legal aid. The whole point of me needing legal aid is because I cant afford the fees. 😠😠 please of someone can just put my mind at ease as to what to expect. I can even function right now I am so angry. How dare he say there was no dv. Since i stopped contact both my kids have been happy. My son has been eating properly. Sleeping better. Stopped having nightmares. At first i thought it was because of the limited contact he had with his dad but now i dont even think it was because of that. I dont want my kids to suffer any more. 😢

prh47bridge Thu 25-May-17 16:58:03

I'm sorry but he is quite right to say no to the domestic violence box. He should only tick yes if he is alleging that you have been violent towards him or the children. You need to raise the domestic violence issue. The rest of it may be lies but that bit isn't.

The court will be looking to do whatever is in your child's best interests. You don't give any reasons for stopping contact. Unless you can convince the court that there are good reasons for preventing contact he is likely to get some contact although it may be in a contact centre. Your solicitor is best placed to advise.

Asaroe91 Thu 25-May-17 19:34:16

So if i had filled in the form and ticked the dv box then it would be okay bcz he was violent to me? But hes okay to tick no bcz i wasnt violent to him? I thought the box should be ticked regardless of who carried out the violence. I stopped contact because he kept arguing with me infront of my kids and the the last time he was violent towards me whilst holding my son. N bcz my son witnessed all the violence he was having nightmares and not eating properly. Hes only 22 months. Hes witnessed all this between me and my ex since he was born. Ive never seen him so lively and happy. And thats only because i stopped contact. And i know you probably thinking it was probably everything goin on that was causing the nightmares but i dont think it was bcz when we tried miam and contact was made again my son was absolutely fine bcz i was there all the time. When he alone with my ex and his family he used 2 come back upset and in pain bcz of belly aches and waking up crying everynight I was advised by womens aid that the best option would be to stop contact. Plus miam did not work out. So the only option left was to stop contact and force him to apply to courts as stated by my solicitor. The box about whether it was affecting the kids should have been ticked either way.

Familylawsolicitor Wed 31-May-17 07:41:49

You will be spoken to by cafcass before the first hearing who will be preparing a safeguarding report when you can explain the issues.
In the meantime complete the C7 acknowledgement and tick the domestic violence boxes.
You then also fill in a C1A setting out your DV allegations. Send a copy to him and to the court.
C1A and guidance notes

user1496689709 Tue 06-Jun-17 08:24:52

Hello to everyone, please can someone help me, I have not stopped crying day and night, I have come out of a controlling relationship, when my daughter was born my partner became very possive and kept telling me he was going to take to to Canada, Germany and all these different places, it really stuck in my head and I never let her out of my sight or go anywhere with him without me being there ,I stuck in the controlling relationship out of fear and stayed with my daughter all the time, I have left he has said he is taking me to court to take my daughter ,I went to see a solicitor and they said it was. £215 for a court order, £90 for a hours advice all this I can't afford I am on esa with severe depression, I only want my daughter to be safe, I know full well if he gets contact and takes her, my life will end because I know he won't bring her back, he is controlling he is a bully, he minupulates me, I am going to have to stay strong where I am concerned and never ever get back with him ever, but I can't think about the court he has got so much money and power it will buy him the best solicitors and advice, where I have none. I have never been to court in my life and I know I will get slaughtered I am week and unwell with all I have out up with. I would really appreciate any help, I have no friends I can talk to that won't gossip. 😢😢😩😩xx

Familylawsolicitor Tue 06-Jun-17 09:18:31


Is your depression part of a reaction to his behaviour to you? If you are a victim of domestic violence, the definition of which includes controlling coercive or emotional abuse, which has resulted in your depression then you may be able to get legal aid.
If your GP will write a letter like this link you can apply for legal aid through a legal aid solicitor
Mental health injuries / conditions count

Other legal aid DV evidence here

If he applies for contact make sure you tell cafcass of his threats not to return your child from abroad. It would be a criminal offence if he did so without your consent and would be dealt with quite robustly. All the countries you mention are signatories to The Hague Convetion who return children swiftly to their country of origin.
You can also get free advice from Reunite about the abduction aspect threat

user1496689709 Tue 06-Jun-17 11:13:53

Yes my depression is all to do with his behaviour I got so weak so quickly because of the intenseness of it all, I am going to look through all of your advice and information and try and get myself sorted out with it all, although I don't understand any of it. I'm not going to sit back and be beaten any more, I'm going to do my best . I appreciate your help, thank- you.

Asaroe91 Tue 06-Jun-17 11:25:45

I have been in your situation. But I found that it was my husband making me depressed because he constantly put me down telling me I wasnt good enough and I was a bad mum. You will get through it. I was on ESA too. You can apply for legal aid because it was domestic abuse. My ex has also made threats to take my children off me. I dont believe he will be given the chance to. Stay strong.

user1496689709 Tue 06-Jun-17 14:25:19

Asaroe91 thank - you for you kind words, I just can't find peace in my mind, I'm lost, broken and in fear of him taking her, I will try to sort myself out it's really hard when you have been emotionally beaten down. xx

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