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Help me make sure mine and my kids' future is secure now DP has abandoned us

(6 Posts)
Minniethecat Wed 24-May-17 10:32:19

I don't really know where to start but here goes. My partner of nearly 20 years left me by a text message for some 20 something year old ow. We weren't married but we have two young kids and at least one of them has complex special needs and, the other, I suspect has Asperger's (just been referred to cahms by the GP). I've been a sahm for the last 7 years and I won't ever be able to have much of a career because my younger child's special needs. We are renting and have no joint assets to divide. I will keep our car (as he doesn't drive) and he's very amicable atm and has promised to pay the rent, bills, food etc, stay officially living with us as I wouldn't be able to get Permanent Residence without him (I'm an EU-citizen) I have consulted one solicitor already and according to her, by law, he has no obligations toward me, only to his kids. So I will only get what he agrees to. I've told him I want half of his pension, and that he must keep paying for private health insurance for the kids and I, have a life insurance etc where all benefits go to me and the children. He's keen to do everything on paper so that I have security but it would need to be legalised, so that he can't back down on anything. Is it advisable to do this kind of agreement by ourselves (as cost cutting measure as I have no rights anyway) and then get it legalised? Or could someone recommend a good solicitor in West London (TW1 area) . Is there anything else I should take into account or ask him for anything else? TIA

mumblechum0 Wed 24-May-17 12:19:30

Unfortunately you have no rights to anything other than child maintenance at 20% of your ex partner's net salary.

A pension sharing order can only be made between spouses.

You may however be able to negotiate a separation agreement, for which you absolutely must take properly qualified advice.

Minniethecat Wed 24-May-17 12:39:08

What if he agrees on the pension thing? He's feeling very guilty atm...

babybarrister Wed 24-May-17 13:31:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo Wed 24-May-17 13:34:20

You also need to sort out your permanent residence immediately as a matter of priority.

Minniethecat Wed 24-May-17 15:00:38

Unfortunately I can't apply for PR until August-September 2018 as I haven't had private health insurance coverage for the 5 years that is required until then 😞 As a sahm it is required that I am self sufficient under the law. Unless the government changes the rules anytime soon.

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