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(12 Posts)
user1491403410 Wed 17-May-17 10:37:02

Ok so me and dp are getting married in August, tomorrow we are supposed to be going to the registry office to give notice.

Dp asked to see his birth certificate from his mum. Dp had a very difficult up bringing and his mum made a lot of mistakes when he was growing up including lying to him about who his father was.

On dps birth certificate, it shows he was registered at birth under a different surname. Dp had no idea about this. He thought his surname was always the same even though it isn't his biological dads surname. He has his passport and driving licence and everything else registered under this surname.

Now his mum is being very cagey. We have asked her for proof that when she changed his surname - which was apparently when he was 2 years old - it was all done legally.

When we go to the registery office tomorrow, we really should declare that he has had his name changed and show proof of this.

However his mum is saying she has no proof, that it was a long time ago, she can't remember etc etc. It is looking like his name was never legally changed. Certainly not by deed poll which is what we need for tomorrow. So what do we do now? She has no records of changing his name which is what we need. Surely if he has the surname he has always used, she must of done something legal to change his surname? You have to send a birth certificate when applying for a passport which would of had a different surname on it.

There are so many unanswered secrets in this family. She is just trying to protect herself but our marriage is at stake here. Unless we say we had no idea about him having a different surname but we don't want to lie and surely that could make out marriage void?

Our wedding is all booked :-( can anyone help? We are waiting for someone to call us from the registry office

DancingLedge Wed 17-May-17 14:41:35


NoSquirrels Wed 17-May-17 14:46:32

Are you supposed to take his birth certificate to the registry office? If not, I might be tempted to totally ignore it. As you say, all his ID is in one name - and to get a passport she must have applied correctly.

Your DP is not trying to deceive- this situation is not if his making.

If you need to show birth certificates, then yes it needs sorting- if not, ignorance is bliss?

yecartmannew Wed 17-May-17 14:50:55

As an emergency measure for tomorrow, you can download a name change deed template, fill it in and get a witness to sign it.

Put the name on his birth certificate as his current name and the name he usually uses as his new name.

In reality, that is all that is legally need to change your name anyway. It does not have to be done by a solicitor or registered anywhere.

That will cover all the bases for tomorrow and any future legal problems.

Then you can then take your time in uncovering what really happened.

(and when she first applied for his passport the checks would not have been nearly so stringent as they are now, and doctors, banks, schools etc did not ask for any proof of identity either in times past)

lougle Wed 17-May-17 14:53:11

When he applied for his passport he had to send his full birth certificate, so he must have known about this, unless it wasn't him who applied for his passport. How old is he?

AnnaThursday Wed 17-May-17 14:55:09

I can't see it being a problem unless things have changed legally in
the past 30 odd years.
My birth certificate name bears no relation to the name I've used all through my childhood, inc school, doctors etc.
I didn't even know about it until I had to take my birth certificate to
school when I was 16. No one queried it then nor when I got married
or ever since.
It's not illegal (or it didn't used to be) to just change your name with no legal shenanigans unless it's for nefarious purposes.

ALemonyPea Wed 17-May-17 14:56:49

What did he send in to get his passport and driving license as he would have needed to provide birth certificate.

I'm adopted by my dad and had to show both birth and adoption certificates.

aginghippy Wed 17-May-17 15:04:22

Who told you that you need a deed poll for tomorrow? If you have his passport and driving license showing the name he uses, that is evidence of his name.

They may want to put his name on the forms as 'David Smith, previously known as David Jones.'

Please don't panic. Based on what you have written, it seems to me that he should be able to give notice.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 17-May-17 15:05:30

Maybe worth an anonymous call to the registary office and see what they say.

It's not illegal (or it didn't used to be) to just change your name with no legal shenanigans unless it's for nefarious purposes.

It the proof that it has been changed from what and to that they are checking there are no nefarious purposes.

I guess in this case, multiple marriages.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 17-May-17 15:08:42

Who told you that you need a deed poll for tomorrow?

Just checked on our council website and it states you do need to provide a change of name deed or statutory declaration.

aginghippy Wed 17-May-17 15:26:29

On it says if you’ve changed your name, you must bring proof, for example a copy of a deed poll.

I think the passport would be proof of the change of name, but OP's dp obviously needs to explain the situation and follow the instructions of their registrar.

I still think he will be able to give notice and get married in August as planned.

anotherdayanothersquabble Fri 19-May-17 12:07:22

Good luck, hope you get this all sorted.

And remember. . your marriage is not at stake. That is a commitment between you and your partner. On the day of your wedding you can still make that commitment even if you have to sort the legalities out later.

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