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Mediation/ divorce

(11 Posts)
Julcol Sat 13-May-17 12:15:37

I'm new here found while researching divorce, we separated 2 half years ago, my ex was always adamant that we would sort out the financial stuff between us , we didn't want to sell the house as we both agreed it would be better to keep it and find me somewhere to rent, youngest son left for university, and no way was ex moving out , was extremely reluctant to split , it was my decision after years of unreasonable behaviour, we lived separately for a year in marital home but he became unbearable always entering my bedroom and bed constantly requesting physical contact! I was offered a room rent free st a friends. Husband had constantly said we had not enough money for me to move, I moved out and sorted my finances out from my business which husband had had control of keeping me with no money, he has nothing to do with my business now, after supposedly being heartbroken and devastated at my leaving he quickly found a girlfriend and moved on changed his job of 30 years! Has luxury holidays which apparently we couldn't afford generally living the high life. While not proceeding with any financial disclosure or helping things get settled, my solicitor gave him a time line to move him on , which he replied with he wants mediation, total shock as he spent 2 years saying he would sort it out! His new girlfriend is a criminal lawyer! Her firm are representing him . He said he has been strongly advised to take mediation. This is only a brief !! Part of my situation basically he doesn't want me to have anything except my small still growing business, which my daughter is a half partner in . I have health issues ongoing long term treatment and have had to employ extra staff to cover my absence. Any mediation help advice please ? nervous wreck !!

Allthebestnamesareused Sat 13-May-17 12:44:11

Your solicitor will be able to advise you regarding mediation. Both parties will have to give full financial disclosure and say whst financial agreement you are looking for. Please do not worry. In most ancillary relief (divorce finance) cases courts will look to see the parties have attempted to settle via mediation before going to court. It is a good step in the right direction. I am assuming you will be wanting your share of equity from the home snd maintenance for any school age children.

MrsBertBibby Sat 13-May-17 12:44:59

Yes go to mediation. If it's works, great, if not then you can issue.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 13-May-17 12:52:35

He's had a long time to dispose of his assets!

Julcol Sat 13-May-17 13:05:49

Yes quiteLikely5 he has hidden all his financial details refuse to pass anything on , I have kept status quo on spending he has not and also he changed his bank account and keep the joint account at maximum overdraft limit. No dependant children except we still help our youngest 21 when needed he works now but has come back from uni, living in family home with dad but mostly on his own as h is st girlfriends a lot , yes want equity share but I don't think h wants me to have anything. It will be a battle that I am worried my health won't be up to ! Thanks guys

peukpokicuzo Sat 13-May-17 13:10:54

Sorting out the finances between you only works if both people are being reasonable. He isn't. You need proper legal advice.

Julcol Sat 13-May-17 14:33:30

I have a good solicitor I understand I go to mediation see what he offers then consult my solicitor, lots of back and forth, but apparently mediation only requires 3 months worth of bank statements along with other stuff, not sure how much of his information I will be able to see?

MrsBertBibby Sat 13-May-17 15:48:37

You can ask. If we won't cooperate mediation stops.

MrsBertBibby Sat 13-May-17 15:52:49

Sorry, if he won't

Julcol Sat 13-May-17 18:44:57

Thanks that's a good point my head is such a mess , I have done so much research and writing down everything, just feel sick with it all .

JanetBrown2015 Sat 13-May-17 22:55:58

1. Look at what houses near this one have sold at. Deduct mortgage.
2. Make sure you know what pensios you both have.
3. Demand his P60s if he is an employee. Check Companies House for the company accounts if he has a company.
4. Make sure you know which of you earns the most and what debts you each have.

The starting point may well be 50% of the joint assets each as the child is grown up for a clean break.

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