Endless contact case! Please help!!

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I've posted on here endlessly about my exh and how he drags me back to court all the time for the last four years.

Today, he should have collected the children at 6pm. It was his weekend but the order states they return 9-6 on Mother's Day. At 6:30pm he hadn't turned up so I text him that I was taking them with me to my planned family event that I was now late for, and that they remain available to him should he choose to collect them.

He replied that he assumed I would be taking them to him, to which I said at no point this had been agreed so why would he assume this. He replied that I had 15 minutes to get them to him or else. I informed him I was at a family event and they remain available. He kept counting down the minutes and then said he would be returning to court in the morning since I had now broken the order.

He then turned up with his mate at 9:15pm demanding that I fetch them out of bed. I told him I did not feel this was in the best interests of the children since the youngest had now been asleep for a couple of hours and they were due in school in 11 hours, so would just be returning back again (he lives some distance from the school). He kept shouting about me breaking the order and it not being fair that he does all the transport but not answering when I asked him if he actually wanted me to drag them out of bed at that time. He eventually left, with the threat of more court action.

I haven't broken the order but seriously, I can't face more court action! Any advice??

[Collaborate]

If the order was silent about who is responsible for collection and return then it is regrettably something the court might have to adjudicate on.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Why didn't you drop them to his??
I mean, I have sympathies as I have a v difficult ex but I think in these circs I would have dropped them round to his ...

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I've never done a single collection or return.

Have I broken the order by saying turning up at 9:15pm was inappropriate?

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I was at a family party and had been drinking. I had no idea he expected me to drop them at his.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Also it's seems a bit barmy to have that agreement for Mother's Day, which will always be on a Sunday so they will always be shuttling back wards and forwards with school in the morning. Surely either they come back and just stay at yours would be better? Or they just stay with him if it's his weekend and you celebrate Mother's Day early/late (not easy I know, I have missed my kids a heap today, but I wouldn't want them ping-ponging between parents)

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Ah! I see! Sounds like he was being a twat then! Sympathies.

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

The whole court order had all sorts of stupid arrangements in it that don't benefit the children in any way.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Technically, probably. But sounds like the order needs amending/clarifying anyway. If it is written in order that he collects then it was his choice to mess you all around.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Sympathies, I hate court orders! They normally seem to not understand children's lives at all xx

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I really can't believe we had got this far and now we are going back to court again because he "assumed it would be fair I would return them"!!! Without mentioning it, or even being nice when the "confusion" arose!!

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Sounds like he was deliberately trying to provoke a situation?

Had you told him about the family party and where it would be? Was it far from where he would normally have to go?

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I text him that since he hadn't collected I was going to X and then texted again to say we had returned home and the children were still available. It's an address he collects from happily at other times anyway.

Then silence for over an hour an half after his last threat of bring them now or else. Then him and his mate banging on my door! The youngest had been asleep for almost two hours.

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I really can't face court again. But should I really be faced with "do as I say right now or else" forever?!

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Ugh. How awful.
Is there a reason you can't drop to his (I mean normally, not when drinking)?

[NeverTwerkNaked]

If he is making threats and hammer

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Hammering on the door you could call the police? On 111 unless you feel in danger.
Lovely policeman went and gave exH a good talking to for similar behaviour to me.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Sounds like you did everything you could do in the circumstances. Quite right to not wake the children at 9ish xx

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I hope they agree with me!

It's never even been raised as an issue before. He's always done it. Most of the time they are school pick ups. During the holidays it's things like 10am/5pm so I am working, which is why he does it.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

You'd like to think so! Given the circumstances it's hard to see what else you could have done
But then there are a few misogynistic barmy judges around. Hope, if you do end up in court, that you get sensible judge.

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

Ha maybe you should check out my old posts. I really don't have one of those!!

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

I just wish I knew what kind of hell to anticipate tomorrow and how much trouble I am in!