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Advice needed about court process and contact

(4 Posts)
Whenwillitstop1 Sun 12-Mar-17 08:49:28

Hi, I've recently split with my baby's dad, up until now we had no formal arrangement for contact. It was very disorganised, with him sometimes wanting our child during the week and sometimes cancelling due to work commitments. The same happened the previous weekend because he had to work and he ended up being annoyed with me because he hadn't communicated with me what was going on and just expected me to hand our child over to his parents without letting me know what was happening first. This weekend he had our child Friday night instead of Saturday because he had a party he wanted to go to on Saturday, he then asked to have him for the whole day today, I wanted to do something with our child today and after trying to compromise I said the timings just wouldn't work an it'll mess up the baby's routine too much. He has then come back calling me a cunt and saying he will take me to court and take our child off me and use my previous mental health issues as ammunition. I had post natal depression after the birth due in part to complex health issues brought on by a traumatic birth. I also have bpd an when I was younger I was under mental health services. I want to know how likely it is that he will get full custody, I would like to know how the court process works and also what a reasonable amount of contact would be to give him, our child is under 1 an I would prefer it to be every other weekend. Any advice appreciated, thanks.

MrsBertBibby Sun 12-Mar-17 10:59:16

If your condition (bi polar, or personality disorder?) is well managed, and/or resolved, then he will find trying to use it against you is likely to blow up in his face. What a nasty bully he is.

CAFCASS (the organisation that helps the court with reports when necessary) has some good resources on their website for parents
www.cafcass.gov.uk/leaflets-resources/leaflets-for-adults.aspx

Also, Resolution (organisation of Family lawyers) has some good material

www.resolution.org.uk

MrsBertBibby Sun 12-Mar-17 11:02:49

Your baby at that age will be likely to do best with contact "little and often". Big swathes of time weeks apart are much more disruptive and less meaningful to a very young child than frequent (ie 2 or 3 a week) visits.

But if he can't treat you respectfully at handover, he may have to use a contact centre.

Him going to court may be the best thing for you, as he will get some serious reality to chew on.

Whenwillitstop1 Sun 12-Mar-17 14:08:20

It's a personality disorder and yes it is, I'm on anti depressants but before I had my baby I was med free, it's only since the pnd that I needed them again. He has said he wants to get full custody and stop me from seeing our child. Atm whenever I have to see him I'm filled with anxiety an dread at what nasty thing he will say next. Do you think it's possible to have contact at a contact centre? I thought that was only if there had been violece an there has not. Do you think it's unlikely that court would accept my request for every other weekend? he works long hours so can't have baby during week anyway.

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