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Ex-h sending me letters

(11 Posts)
Gamtanner Thu 02-Mar-17 18:36:06

The only access my ex-h is allowed with our child is to write to him once a month. This court order was put in place in October. I have to write To ex-h bi-monthly with details of our child's welfare, what he's been doing at school, etc.

DS does not write back or want to see ex-h. DS is 11.

Recently, ex-h sent me 2 letters accusing me of all sorts and asking why DS won't see him (this was covered in court and by S7 Cafcass report), saying I'm unfit, picking holes in my court testimony and asking me to explain what he sees as contradictions.

What can I do about this?

I'm planning on just ignoring the letter to me but sticking to the court order of course.

Can he continue to send me upsetting letters like this? It's like being controlled and bullied all over again.

Any advice would be great. Thank you

AuntiePenguin Thu 02-Mar-17 18:40:24

It's harassment, you can report it to the police.

Keep all letters, texts, etc in case you need evidence.

Gamtanner Thu 02-Mar-17 18:44:02

Thanks for replying.

Police eh? Even though it's not direct threats? It's so upsetting to have him getting at me all over again. sad

thatdearoctopus Thu 02-Mar-17 18:46:29

Is bi-monthly twice a month (seems a lot), or every two months? (just about do-able).
Ignore his rant and wait until your next missive is due and keep to perfunctory and factual. "DS continues to go swimming each week and is now practising butterfly. He's covering equivalent fractions in school and the class topic is Ancient Egypians. He still likes pasta for dinner. The End."

Gamtanner Thu 02-Mar-17 18:50:57

Sorry, every 2 months blush I'm bad at timescales.

Yes. I'm not going to respond at all to his letter to me. Just do the update when due. I just don't want to have to put up with reading his vile ramblings. I want it to stop.

babybarrister Thu 02-Mar-17 18:54:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gamtanner Thu 02-Mar-17 18:57:53

Unfortunately he has no other way of contacting me. I Changed my number and email years ago due to abuse after separation and he is estranged from his own family and is banned from seeing my nearest family (brother) as he was prosecuted for damaging his car and harassing him.

AuntiePenguin Thu 02-Mar-17 19:01:47

Harassment doesn't have to be threats, it can be any behaviour that you find intimidating or distressing. Definitely talk to the police.

JustSpeakSense Thu 02-Mar-17 19:03:54

Perhaps you could have a trusted friend of family member open all mail from him, and only give you the letters meant for DS, any letters for you can be filed away by them, thus protecting you from having to read his rantings.

Lucked Thu 02-Mar-17 19:13:12

I would give the letters to someone to keep, out of sight out of mind.

I would initially just prefer ignore and just do the welfare letter exactly as you intend. I am suspicious this will escalate but there is a slim possibility that he will give up.

Gamtanner Thu 02-Mar-17 19:55:09

Thanks for the ideas and advice everyone.

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