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DP and his divorce

(18 Posts)
isseywithcats Wed 01-Mar-17 19:25:04

will try to put this in order its complicated
Dp and his ex wife split 13 years ago
at the time he was unemployed (uni work research which funding ran out)
the only job he could get was in another part of the country
ex wife decided not to go with him she stayed in marital house that they owned ( mortgage free by then)
she is an achoholic so has lived on benefits for last 13 years
house cost £48000 then and DP paid all of the mortgage payments
now though probably not in top notch condition is worth around £250000
so two years ago he emailed her and asked her to put the house on the market and split 50/50 which would give her enough money to buy a small house or flat for herself ( house is 4 bedrooms ) and give him enough money to buy a house where we are ( up north reasonable prices)
she totally ignored him
now says wont sell will take to court and has been sending weird cards and letters real mental stuff even sent us an engagenemt card when no way are we engaged and dont intend to be
DP is coming up to retirement in the next five years
and in the last 13 years has paid over £80000 in rent
sorry this has been so long trying to get everything in
i know hes left it far too long but what could the possible outcome be if he has to take it to court
thank you for your time and patience

Marilynsbigsister Wed 01-Mar-17 20:17:44

Is he divorced ? Has any financial settlement been reached. Were there children involved. It all really depends on the divorce. If he was married then she will have no choice. Write to the land registry in the first instance and check he is still a registered owner.

If he never got round to divorce, then he is still married to the wife. If he was run over by a bus tomorrow everything of his owned through marriage goes to her. He needs to sort things out

isseywithcats Wed 01-Mar-17 21:56:28

yes they are still married hes one of those people whos so bloody laid back he never does anything and no still not divorced, i know if he died tommorow she would get everything , he says hes going to see a solicitor about it at easter when uni breaks up ( hes a lecturer now) just wondering what the solicitor is going to say as it was her choice not to go with him it seems unfair that he might not get what he is due, one daughter but she was 36 when they split

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 01-Mar-17 22:05:22

He should see a solicitor asap who would be able to sever the joont tenancy so they would hold as tenants in common and he could then leave his share to whoever he wants to. As regards the split of proceeds of sale it may not be as simple as 50/50 on divorce if she spent time as a sahm whilst the children were young. Time for him to get it sorted

MooseBeTimeForSnow Wed 01-Mar-17 22:05:26

He could divorce her on the basis they have been separated for five years. She wouldn't have to consent. I suspect your Solicitor might have to arrange for personal service but it shouldn't delay things too much.
The starting point will be 50/50. There might be an argument that he can get something back towards the payments he made on the mortgage but that might be counterbalanced by any improvements she's had done to the house and paid for herself.
She's also entitled to a share of his pensions and vice versa.

isseywithcats Wed 01-Mar-17 22:35:10

thank you im going to bed now as up for work early but from what i can gather from their daughter she has done no improvements or much in the way of repairs he really should have sorted it years ago took him a year of us being together to tell me the situation and two years later still nothing sorted he has pension in place and yes i realise she is probably entitled to a share of that but as she hasnt worked for a long time i doubt whehter she has anything other than state pension as she has been on benefits for at least the last 13 years and wasnt working when they were together

MrsBertBibby Thu 02-Mar-17 07:09:27

Has he at least made a will?

Loopytiles Thu 02-Mar-17 07:11:31

He has made some poor decisions hasn't he!

He needs legal advice and to get divorced with a financial settlement.

Loopytiles Thu 02-Mar-17 07:12:04

Did he leave his DC with ex W?

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Thu 02-Mar-17 07:15:54

Loopy his daughter was 36 when they split.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan Thu 02-Mar-17 07:16:55

The OP said his daughter was 36 when they split up so that's not relevant Loopy

glenthebattleostrich Thu 02-Mar-17 07:18:35

Loopy, the OP said their daughter was 36 when he left.

Loopytiles Thu 02-Mar-17 07:39:11

blush sorry!

babybarrister Thu 02-Mar-17 08:50:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isseywithcats Thu 02-Mar-17 14:13:37

hi im back i dont think hes even written a will, his daughter was grown up and left home so apart from what she will inherit from each parent her been a dependant is as an adult and i dont know what price 2 bedroom houses are in the area they lived which if relevant is swansea in wales and yes he is daft but hes one of those people who if it dosent affect his day to day will do sod all hes too laid back, im presuming a solicitor will advice him to write a will so hopefully that will be sorted and if anyone thinks im pushing him because i will benefit i wont his daughters inheritance will be protected, im just trying to save him like £8000 a year in dead rental money and give us two as a couple some security as rentals can go kaput at any time, thank you all for your time and advice i am very grateful

babybarrister Thu 02-Mar-17 16:30:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isseywithcats Thu 02-Mar-17 17:26:00

thank you babybarrister i will show DP this thread when he comes in

Ellisandra Tue 07-Mar-17 20:48:54

Being with someone like him would drive me demented!!

He's lucky you're there to give him a push to sort it out.

Don't look to his money to provide security though. Boyfriends (and even husbands!) don't always last - make sure you're making you're own plans.

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