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Separation and house buying

(3 Posts)
NotEasyToDo Fri 24-Feb-17 09:43:26

i told my husband I wanted to leave out marriage in June 2015

I felt that it was an abusing marriage and wanted out

He hasn't wanted to sell the family home so I've been sleeping on a sofa bed downstairs in the office since then

At the beginning of this year I told him that I can't keep doing this and the house needs to sell. He keeps telling me it isn't what he wants

My daughter (18) told me has had an offer on a house accepted 150ish miles away. I asked him about it and he still insists that it isn't what he wants but will do it if I insist.

Our children are 18, 16, 12 and 3.

When we first separated we agreed that we would sell the family home and each take 50% of money and use it towards our new house. We agreed that solicitors can tell you that you're entitled to more and fight for more causing large legal bills and animosity

The older two (18 and 16) will live with him and the younger two (12 and 3) with me.

I asked if he would give me maintenance and he said "if you give me some too"

We both earn a similar amount and are both self employed.

My half of the money and a mortgage means buying either a flat or a small house that's needs work. His mum has said she will give him £250 k towards his new house as an early inheritance. This means he can buy a nice house (in a cheaper part of the country), be mortgage free and have money in the bank

He can buy his new house without the family home being sold as his sister will lend him some too. He wants me to sign "a financial agreement". I said that I'll do that as part of the divorce but he doesn't want a divorce

Am I right in saying it should be done as part of a divorce? He doesn't want a divorce, he just wants to stop me from getting anything more than 50% of the family home

Any ideas where I stand here?

FinallyHere Fri 24-Feb-17 09:52:15

Have you come across the phrase 'well, he would say that wouldn't he? '

Usually, I am all for avoiding lawyers, but i think in this case, it would be helpful for you to understand what would be considered fair under the law. A 50:50 split always favours the partner with more access to other assets, as they are the ones who would otherwise get less than 50%. I really don't think what he is suggesting is fair. You are going to have dependents for much longer than him.

Get some good, legal advice, and quickly. Don't sign anything til you understand the legal position. And yes, do get a divorce, and set up the finances around that. All the very best.

eatingtomuch Fri 24-Feb-17 10:05:22

Please take legal advice. It's the best money I have spent.
You need to have what you are entitled to. In the eyes of the law there is no maintenance for an 18+ year old.
Also look at tax credits etc

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