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Visitation rights : Should a 2-year-old go to Nursery or see Dad?

(9 Posts)
GBinning Fri 03-Feb-17 14:10:44

A 2-year-old's parent's live 6 hrs apart.
The child goes to nursery on a government scheme for 5 days a week.
The father wants to spend a week a month visiting child, and for the mother to cancel "daycare".
The mother says nursery is an important part of child's routine and does not want to cancel "nursery".
They cannot agree.
Any opinion?

imnotalpharius Fri 03-Feb-17 14:13:06

On a government funded scheme would 1 week a month not be enough to lose funding for the place?

Ouriana Fri 03-Feb-17 14:16:51

Is the child in nursery full days? I think the childs routine is more important, going three weeks a month may be unsettling for them, and the child should remain in nursery.

bloodyteenagers Fri 03-Feb-17 14:20:31

Long term once a month for a week won't be sustainable. What's his long term plan? This should be the starting point. In a few years once this routines is established it will need changing because of school.

afromom Fri 03-Feb-17 14:21:27

If the father is visiting the child where they live the routine should continue. If the child is going to the father obviously that would be more tricky, however I would argue that arrangement would not be in the best interests of the child.
In effect under this suggested arrangement the child is missing out on 25% of their nursery entitlement before starting school, which could have a big impact.
What does the father plan to do when the child starts school in 2 years?

museumum Fri 03-Feb-17 14:23:45

Half days at nursery? If the father is taking on full time parenting for a week each month then droping the dc at nursery for 3hrs on the five work days is nothing really.

HirplesWithHaggis Fri 03-Feb-17 14:24:10

If the father is reliable and there would be no penalty for cancelling daycare (losing nursery place) it would soon become part of a small child's routine to spend one week a month with his/her father. A good relationship with both parents is important, if it can be acheived.

museumum Fri 03-Feb-17 14:24:38

Also, I think it's important dads do the routine stuff like nursery runs not just fly in and "Disney" for a week.

Ouriana Fri 03-Feb-17 14:59:22

I find this kind of perwnting arrangement a bit stange forsuch a young child though, will the child still be living with its mum during dads week? Or will they not see the mother at all?

At 2years old I think 3weeks without seeing Dad is far too long! Also if mum is the resident parent it would be very child for the child to be seperated from her for a week.

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